Gay Weddings


My partner and I have decided that we are doing a May 2011 wedding.  I am uber-excited and have been on this site non-stop since then.  He and I are trying to something a bit more traditional but as we all know there are NO traditions for this so we are at a bit of a loss.  So here are a few questions if anyone can help 
1) What are some alternatives to a "bouquet and garter toss"?  We want something fun but really wont have the ability to do either of those.
2) Unity candle has some religious connotation in my mind, is that right?  
3) Bachelor parties?  Should we?  The reason I ask is that we both dont have a lot of gay friends, we mainly know straight people, what kind of event should it be and should they be seperate or should we do a joint engagement party instead?

There are more but I cant think of them right now.  Just would appreciate some insight.

Re: Wow!!

  • 2dBride2dBride member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    1) Even a lot of straight couples are foregoing the bouquet and garter tosses these days.  Ours was a two-bride wedding, so we had plenty of bouquets and garters, but elected not to toss any of them.  You don't really need an alternative--just skip them.
    2) I've seen unity candles being used in completely secular ceremonies.
    3) If you're gay but don't have a lot of gay friends, and you want to do the alcohol and strippers thing for your bachelor parties, you'll probably need to invite only your female friends.  However, there are lots of alternatives.  We had two joint bachelorette parties.  One was at Dave & Buster's (restaurant and arcade games).  The other was at a traditional Korean bath house.  Bachelor parties aren't a mandatory part of a wedding, so do what you'd enjoy doing, together or separately.
  • edited December 2011
    My reply to all 3 of your posted questions and any ensuing to come, do what makes you happy! Regardless of your gender or sexuality it is your wedding and it has to be a reflection of you and your future spouse. But specific to #3, I really want to have a joint all female bachlorette party! I want us to both wear shirts that say "bride" and go out. She wants to spend the night in with her more studly friends and smoke cigars and have tequilla sans me. No worries, I said we will do BOTH! Have fun with it. Most of us only get married once :)
  • tpender13tpender13 member
    edited December 2011
    1. FI and I are straight, and skipping that stuff. But if you want to do something to "replace" them, and if you'll have a lot of established couples at your wedding, you could do an anniversary dance. Have couples that are married come out to the dance floor, and start having them sit down if they've been married less than a day, a year, 3 years, etc... until there's one couple left. Then you could give them something, if you won't have garters/bouquets, you could give them some other type of gift.

    2. Not that I know of.

    3. FI and I did a couples weekend away at a cabin instead of traditional bachelor/bachelorette parties. You don't have to have crazy liquor and strippers for it to be a party.
  • edited December 2011
    First, I agree with zetacutie, you should feel free to do what you and your partner want and I think you'll be suprised how willing and happy people will be to go with it.

    1) I went to a wedding where the couple actually brought a boquet of flowers that they had picked themselves at the local farmer's market. At the reception, they divided up the boquet, giving everyone there a flower. Even if you don't have a boquet, you could do it with a flower centerpiece. It was a really moving moment for everyone and a total suprise.

    2) Yes, it has some religious connotation, BUT I don't think that means it has to. One way to do something similar that is not as religious seeming is to pour sand into a vase or water or something else that has meaning to you.

    3) My partner and I fall into the same friend group of mainly straight people like you. We are doing separate bachlorette parties. My partner is inviting men and women. I am having a women-only party. I think it's perfectly acceptable to do this. When it comes to these parties, I think doing exactly what you want is perfect. Also, you can always ask a friend or family member to plan it all for you...then you don't really have to think about it as much! :)

    Good luck!
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