Gay Weddings

Walk down the Aisle?

My girlfriend and I are getting married in Aug. in a very traditional service at our church (an episcopal cathedral).  We are trying to figure out how to have us both walk down the aisle (with our father's as this was very importat to them) without it looking really silly. Ideas?

Re: Walk down the Aisle?

  • If the church has side aisles (like ones that run up the wall/windows), maybe you can each walk up those with your fathers and then walk down the center aisle together at the end? That way you can come in at the same time. 
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  • chrmunchrmun member
    500 Comments
    edited February 2012
    This is a tough one, because the wedding process is sooooo heteronormative. It feels like there are so many parts of the wedding that get divided up into 'the man' things and 'the woman' things. For instance, traditionally the groom walks down the aisle first, then the bride is walked down to the groom and her father 'gives' her to him. (Then I think the groom gives the father some goats or something.) It's frustrating to me, because it sort of puts your relationship dynamics, real or perceived, on display. Like PP suggested, we are going to process down the sides and recess up the middle. (But when it comes time for our first dance, I LEAD!)
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  • You could also come in from opposite sides of the church, escorted by your fathers.  You could then meet at the back of the aisle, and walk together from there.
  •  If you have a flower girl, bridesmaids, and or other such attendants,use their walks to 'announce' your own.entries. For example (and just wiggle this scenario around to how it 'fits/feels' best for you:)
    What we used to call Groomsmen, we will call Escorts :)
    2 Escorts will be seating your guests, your guests will answer them if they need to say" Melanies guests are on the left. Sabrinas guests are on the right. Do you have a preference? As the church fills, the escorts will then fill seats, not requests. And it is perfectly acceptable and normal and fine. If Sabeina has  9 guests and Melanie has 90 and 33 people are with "Both brides', it all works out
    very smoothly on its own, so the Church does not have an unbalanced look about it once everyone is seated. I mention the seating because your guests, watching for  for each of you and it will become  very clear to them as the march begins. Partly because, the 2 'families' are together, so to speak on ther respective 'sides' of the aisle & energies of the families will bond, and they will become 'teams' for lack of a word ;) oh, perhaps United is a better word! Point is, they will not be confused :)
     Guests know when  thier niece or bffs little sister is the cutiepie flower girl coming up the isle, and behind her, will be the associated bride and dad
    and when you arrive at the pulpit you take your places to the left. Daddy remains with the bride for this -

    Your music can make a sublte shift , perhaps the harpest takes on a violin , maybe an acrostic guitar is joined by a sax, an organist changes only the key of the same song....its up to you if you wish to help separate this march with more than your attendants. Your own version of a Luxurious Lather, Rinse Repeatr

     Now  the second bride and dad will prepare to march. Your guest will know, again by seeing their sides of 'lovelys' approaching , beginning their turn to follow, &  will then take their places to the right of the officiate. Dads are remaining, all are front and center
    The seated guests being  together with the help of your escorts at the beginning, will simply fill the room with amazing energy of love and understanding, removing any confusion and seeing a simply lovely (& organized beautifully)wedding party before them.
    And now, your officiant/Priest will speak the words you choose for the fathers giving of their daughters , the dads will take their seats. Your vows will soon begin you Happily Ever After
  • easy we are doing the same, one goes with dad first, then the other with that dad. Done
  • thats will look weird if it's ours mothers who escort us because both of us are orphan by father and don't want to ask brother to do this. Or we should ask for our godfather to do it?
  • My fiance and I are struggling with the same problem. Our dads want to walk us down the aisle, but we're getting married at a venue that has only one walkway. So we're going to have one bride and her party go first to one set of music, then the second bride and party go down to a different set of music to signify a 'switch.' 

    It may be a little silly to do it twice, but unless your venue has two aisles as mentioned, there really isn't much other options. There are a LOT of traditions that get tricky in our awesome gay weddings, but we make it work the best we can, you know? :)
  • I am stumped too. I know I posted awhile back but FI and I are still at war over who goes first. I will prob cave and let her go last but I don't like it. Who am I walking to? I'm afraid of looking like a dork. I'm having an MOH and she's having her brother as an escort/"groomsman" We also have 2 nieces and 2 nephews as RB & FG respectively. If I go first, she won't see me walk down. That kind of makes me feel let down and empty.
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  • My girlfriend and I had the same prob. (In the episcopal church and everything). What we decided is that our parties will walk down first then me and my dad, then her and her father. That way we both get special music and the focus is still both of our and not just one of us.
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