Gay Weddings

Are you getting hitched in Iowa- and aren't FROM there?

My partner and I are in Wisconsin and planning on a March 2013 wedding in Milwaukee.

We are only a stones throw from Iowa, and I am wondering if there are any benifits to traveling there for a court house wedding? I know it wont mean anything in Wisconsin- but by getting married there- can it be easier to change our names here.. or does the certificate become null and void for ANYTHING once we cross state lines?

Thanks for any information!

Re: Are you getting hitched in Iowa- and aren't FROM there?

  • 2dBride2dBride member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    We didn't get hitched in Iowa.  But we did get hitched in Massachusetts at a time when it appeared our home state (Maryland) would not recognize the union.  Having a legal marriage  would help you in several ways:

    1.  The Social Security Administration will allow you to change your name based on a legal marriage.  You will have to find out whether your local motor vehicles department will also make the change.  In some states, it's pretty much automatic if the Social Security Administration approves it, while in others (notably Florida) the motor vehicles people have refused to acknowledge a name change even after it has been accepted by Social Security.
    2.  Your marriage may be more respected if it is legal, even if it is not legally recognized.  See this story of a an individual whose same-sex marriage in Iowa to a Marine was recognized for funeral purposes, even though it was not legal either in the state in which they lived or (at the time) in the state in which the funeral was conducted.  We had a similar experience when my son got his security clearance.  He'd gotten the clearance for the first time before NotFroofy and I were married, and they had pretty much ignored NotFroofy.  The second time, after we were married, they treated her as a spouse for security clearance purposes, even though federal law does not recognize us as married.
    3.  If your state ever recognizes same-sex marriage--or if you ever move to a state that does--you will be treated as married retroactively back to the day on which your legal marriage took place, not just back to the day that you began living in a state that recognized same-sex marriage.  This can affect things like property rights from before your move, the legal status of children born or adopted before the move, etc.

    The major disadvantage to a legal marriage is that divorce is governed by your state of residence, not the state in which you get married.  Thus, if you live in a state that does not recognize same-sex marriage, you would never be able to get a divorce unless one of you established residence in a state that recognizes same-sex marriage.
  • That is a ton of great information- thank you very much!!!!!
  • My girl and I are also planning to get married in Iowa. We live in Indiana and wondered how we go about finding an officiant to marry us on a Saturday (12/1/12). Smile

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