Gay Weddings

Wedding Party Attire Debate

Hello, I'm wondering if I can gather any opinions on a topic my FI and I are currently discussing and trying to sort out. Our wedding will consist of us having 3-4 attendants each (we'll decide the exact numbers later) and the colors eggplant and leaf (purple and green). My FI intends to wear a suit of some sort and I a white dress. That's a lot of lead-in to the actual question, which is:
If my FI's attendants (all female) want to wear dresses instead of matching her suit, do they have to wear the same color dresses as my attendants (also all female), or can one side wear one color (eggplant) and the other side wear the other color (leaf)? I want the variance in colors, but she thinks it will look too much like some kind of sports rivalry that way.
Any opinions????
Thanks! Cool

Re: Wedding Party Attire Debate

  • 2dBride2dBride member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited May 2012
    Traditionally (always a dicy word when applied to a same-sex wedding!), the attendants on each side should match each other, but need not match the attendants on the other side.  Think of it this way:  If you had a straight wedding with the groom's attendants all male and the bride's attendants all female, it would be common for the bridesmaids to wear one color, and the groomsmen all to wear vests and ties in a different color.  And this has been extended to situations in which there are women on the groom's side, or men on the bride's.  See this video, in which the groomswoman wears a yellow dress, the groomsmen wear yellow ties, and the bridesmaids all wear blue.  So go ahead and have your attendants in different colors; I promise no one will think they are fans of rival sports teams.  ;-)
  • If you really want there to be some sort of indicator of who is whom, maybe use sashes.   for example, your attendants in the green dress, with a purple sash, and your fiance's attendants in a purple dress with a green sash.  Something to bring the "sides" together.

    But, really, I think its all personal choice.  I don't see any problem with them all wearing the same color dress or wearing different colors.  Either one would look lovely.

  • Thanks so much! I only needed more than myself to feel this way to convince her. If they find dresses that aren't too pricey, we may go with the sash idea. :)
  • I agree.  As long as the color scheme is kept and there is a matching accent on each person somewhere...a ribbon, a tie, a sash, etc, it will all look coordinated and lovely.  :)
  • I agree with all the post. You could put everyone in the same dress just different variations. Like have your girls in Eggplant with a leaf sash and her girls in the same dress in leaf with a eggplant sash.
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  • You could also put her attendants in a dress that compliments your partner's suit.  I've seen women stand on the groom's side wearing the black version of the BM dress so they coordinate with the guy's side.  It was super sharp.

  • hellebhelleb member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    I love the idea of having them differenciated betweent who they are standing up for.  I love the eggplant and leaf dresses or the same dress just in black.  You could even put a colored sash on the black dresses to match, just like traditionally a man would wear a complimenting colored tie.
  • loving the black dress with coordinating sash idea!!

    *jots it down selfishly*   

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  • Great idea with the dress idea with opposite sashes.... I have few bridesmaids that will actually stand on my partners side in tuxes because let me just say they would look like campy drag queens had I asked them to wear dresses... Then again most of our attendants are close friends of us both and we decided on them together....
  • The bridesmaids on my side are wearing black dresses and purple sashes, and on my fiancés side all the girls but her "bestman" are wearing a different style of black dress with a pink sash, since are wedding colors are black, pink and purple.  Her bestman will wear slacks and a tie like she is wearing.  Oh forgot to mention our entire wedding party are chicks, only our son the ring bearer will be the only guy.

  • All of the above, making sure each lady is comfortable in the style you select.  Different dresses with matching bows and saches are great ideas, andfor those more butch ladies... suits with matching shirts or ties.

    Reverend Lisa
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