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Sister Bridesmaids??

I have been engaged for quite some time now, but we are just now getting around to planning the wedding and working out all of the details. I only have one other sibling and we are not close. When she asked if she was going to be in my bridal party and I said no, she was heart broken. I still don't want her in the bridal party but she won't let it go. She brings it up all the time and I just want her to give it a rest. I am not going to change my mind. I don't want her in the wedding party and I don't her opinion when it comes to planning the wedding! What should I do? Is she being unreasonable or am I? There aren't going to be any siblings in the bridal party. We are having a small wedding party and no siblings are involved. Please give me advice! I don't know what to tell her anymore to get her off my back! Thanks!

Re: Sister Bridesmaids??

  • edited December 2011
    I don't know that either of you are being unreasonable. She wants to be a part of your day, and you have different plans. Neither point of view is unreasonable. I guess you'll have to weigh how much you care about your sister's feelings vs your feelings. Will your relationship be damaged if you don't let her in? If so, and if you don't care if it is, then stick with your guns.
  • raynesraynes member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Having her in your wedding party may just be what you two need to bring you closer. She is your sister, and she probably knows you pretty well, so her advice might not be terrible. Friends come in and out of our lives. Think about 20 years from now when you're looking at your wedding pictures. Would you rather see some friend who you ended up having a huge fight with and no longer talk to, or your sister beside you?
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  • edited December 2011
    raynes is right on.  I know that it was really important to me that FI's sister was in the WP, and even though we don't have the best relationship all the time, she is family now, and that is what will matter in 20 years. Andplusalso, you are 1 year and 7 months out, you really don't need to choose a WP right now.  Maybe give it some time, and check out the "Just Engaged" board for ideas on how to handle this stuff.
  • ellis_jleellis_jle member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree. Family is forever, friends will come and go. But that being said it is your wedding, and whatever you choose should go!!! Good luck.
  • Elle71Elle71 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    You've received some really smart advice here. I also agree. Family, although we don't get to choose them, are there for life. This may bring you two closer than you could possibly imagine!
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  • edited December 2011
    I agree with raynes 100%!!!
  • sarah-bellasarah-bella member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I have one sister, as does my husband.  Neither are close to me.  .  . actually, my sister and I are complete opposites!In the end we decided that we'd only do one person each.  I chose my best friend.  Not my sister or his.  While I can see where Raynes has a good point I know that would not have worked for me!  My sister knows me well, but would never have agreed with my decisions, and would not have kept her mouth shut!!  sneakers at a wedding?  GASP!  a red wedding dress??  the shame!!seriously.  good thing she got so drunk that my mom was putting her in a cab an hour after the ceremony.  n.i.c.e.I knew I wanted someone beside me that supported me and loved me for who I am, not because I was 'supposed' to choose them.  If your sister is anything like mine I don't blame you for not wanting her in your bridal party.But I also don't blame her for wanting to be part of it.Would you have need for someone to do a reading or something?  Think of an important role that she can do that doesn't involve much (if that isn't too contradictory!!)good luck!  but like others said ~ your wedding is still a ways out, so you have time to hash it over.
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks for all the advice everyone. And Sarah-Bella...I am the same way sort of...I have one sister who I am not close with and he has 2 sisters and one brother (he is only close with one sister). We are having a small WP so if I include all of our siblings things would start to get out of hand. On top of my sister being upset about all of this, his mother is pressuring me to put his siblings in the WP. I feel like if I start letting other people pressure me into doing things and changing how I want things to be done that I will lose control of the wedding decisions. Their opinions are important to me but this is my big day!
  • sarah-bellasarah-bella member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I feel for you!  I was really lucky that neither of our sisters were all hopped up to be in the wedding party to begin with.before we actually started planning we were joking that the wedding party would be me (sarah) my best friend (sarah) my sister (Pamela) and his sister (Pamela)ya.  way too many similar names!!!
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