How to handle drunk guests at reception...

val_ross

Hey Everyone,

My name is Val, and I have been lurking on these boards for the better part of a year now. I have gained so much knowledge just by reading everybody's advice and suggestions - but now I have decided it is time to stop lurking and start asking!

To make a long story short (okay  - as short as it can be), we are having an open bar at our reception, but there are a few guests my FI and I are concerned about. Our biggest worry is concerning my FMIL. She has a history of getting very drunk and making big scenes (at every event includng baby showers, christenings, and birthday parties for our 2 young children). Basically, I am wondering what the most appropriate way to handle this situation would be. We have mentioned it to her several times over the last year every now and then (just in regular conversation - not a big sit down discussion), but I don't know if we should do more preemptively, or wait until a situation arises at the reception and deal with it then. If an issue does come up at the reception, we are also unsure of the right way to handle it.

So basically I am open to any and all suggestions (or advice) anyone can offer me on what we could be doing that may relieve some of the stress this has been causing us.

TIA,
Val.

PreppySailor

I would choose somebody who you trust (who will be sober that night, or able to act responsibly) to keep an eye on her. Just ask someone to be on the lookout for possibly drama to prevent it before it happens, or mention it to the bartender, so they won't overserve her.

theredskittle

This might be a dumb suggestion, but maybe you could make sure that she somehow gets a lot to eat before the open bar of your reception? If she is coming with you guys to your picture location, maybe packing a lunch that everyone eats will fill her up before she starts drinking and *hopefully* prevent her from getting too drunk. If you are having a cocktail hour, you can maybe have them serve apps at the same time.

Another idea is maybe giving her a task to do or something to be responsible for like getting guests to sign the guest book or something else that will keep her away from the bar for at least some of the night. Perhaps you could have her put your kids to bed and then watch them for an hour? I wish you the best of luck with it!

And welcome to the board!

Littlin

I agree with Preppy - that is the LAST thing you want to worry about on your wedding day - definitely find someone trustworthy to watch out and stop drama before it begins so that you don't have to worry and can enjoy yourself!

silversparks

I agree with pps - we had the same concerns with my BIL. We spoke to someone we trusted (and that he respects) asking them to keep an eye on him, and we pointed him out to the bartender, asking him not to serve him alcohol. There was other wine around and I'm sure if he had tried he could have had a drink, but this gave us peace of mind to know that he wasn't likely to be able to overdue do it.

val_ross

Thanks to everybody for all your answers! 
We wondered about mentioning it to the bartender, but we didn't want her to feel as though we were treating her like a child - what do you think about having him "water down" her drinks?
We actually never thought about getting her to be in charge of something. That would at least keep her busy for a portion of the evening (and every bit will help!). The idea of getting someone else to keep an eye on her would probably come in really handy too - at least if she starts getting a bit out of control we could be aware of it before it gets to be too much of a scene.
Thanks again for your suggestions,
Val.

ring_pop

I think that alerting your venue coordinator and bartender is your best bet. It won't make her feel like a child; they'll be discreet. Don't ask them to water down her drinks; she'll realize what they're doing.

It's their job to make sure they don't over-serve ANY guests who look like they've had too much anyway, so mentioning it to them would just remind them to pay extra attention to that duty.

kaesha

Or get her super trashed the night before so she has a hangover and can't drink... That's a last resort though.