Canada

Reception Confusion

I picture my dream wedding in September with all the pretty fall colors and nice weather. I wanted a rustic country-like reception and the 2 places I looked are both booked for September 2012. The original place I loved is an big old barn that has an old school, old church, lots of property and another old barn, it's booked from March 2012-the middle of November 2012. The second place is not as nice but it was my option two, they have two dates to choose from August 25, 2012, and October 27, 2012. I've weighed the pros and cons and decided August 25 was perfect. I called and booked it and my fiance just told me that August 25 is his friends wedding day and one of his groomsmen is in his wedding party, plus we are probably going to be invited to his wedding. Now I'm really stuck! I had my mind made up for August 25 but now all we have left is October 27. Another option would be the have it at my house. My parents own a greenhouse company and are currently bulding an addition onto it. i don't want this wedding to become more expensive than it should be. We're looking at about 200 guests as well. I don't know what I should do!

Re: Reception Confusion

  • tseguintseguin member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011

    Well it depends on a few things....the wedding that the potential groomsman is already standing in, is that a close friend of your FI's?  Will a lot of your friends be invited to their wedding as well?  how close will the venues be to each other?

  • Kellykins12Kellykins12 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Put yourself in the other bride's shoes for a second: You have reserved your venues and are happily planning your day and then someone comes along and steals your thunder by planning their wedding on the same day!

    The people who set their day first have dibs. You can't have a groomsman running between venues missing parts of both celebrations. Is he supposed to quick change his shirt and tie in the car like in the movie 27 Dresses?! What about all the other friends in common who are going to be invited to both ceremonies and will have to choose? How close is your FI to this friend? Because keeping your date the same day as his could create conflict and competition that might end that friendship. I'd switch to Oct. 27th if you really want to get married next year or if you've made a non-refundable deposit with your site. If you're worried about it being too cold why not look into the location you preferred but for spring/summer/fall of 2013, that's what I'd do.
  • ElleB87ElleB87 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_canada_reception-confusion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:46Discussion:81e1f7a9-eec8-4b95-8c93-4ddacbdb82f2Post:8b221f98-f292-48ba-b80d-e87da9ea3c24">Re: Reception Confusion</a>:
    [QUOTE]Put yourself in the other bride's shoes for a second: <strong>You have reserved your venues and are happily planning your day and then someone comes along and steals your thunder by planning their wedding on the same day!</strong> <strong>The people who set their day first have dibs</strong>.Posted by Kellykins12[/QUOTE]

    Umm...no. No one has dibs on a specific day.  I do agree you're in a bit of a pickle, but you should have consulted your fiance BEFORE booking something as important as the venue.  Either you pick a different venue, take the late October date, or sacrifice attending the friends wedding and having that groomsman in the wedding party and carry on as planned.  No offense, but you dug yourself into this hole by not communicating with your man before making solid plans.
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  • tseguintseguin member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_canada_reception-confusion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:46Discussion:81e1f7a9-eec8-4b95-8c93-4ddacbdb82f2Post:c0d9e7ed-060d-4945-9e4a-9fe5b2b76821">Re: Reception Confusion</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Reception Confusion : <strong>Umm...no. No one has dibs on a specific day.  I do agree you're in a bit of a pickle, but you should have consulted your fiance BEFORE booking something as important as the venue</strong>.  Either you pick a different venue, take the late October date, or sacrifice attending the friends wedding and having that groomsman in the wedding party and carry on as planned.  No offense, but you dug yourself into this hole by not communicating with your man before making solid plans.
    Posted by ElleB87[/QUOTE]

    co-signed. 
  • edited December 2011
    We were set on the date the night before and right after we booked it his groomsman said he thought that it was his friends wedding that day. We cancelled and are now doing it at my house.
  • edited December 2011
    Oh wow that must be so disappointing! We were so lucky that "our date" was the only date open for both the venue and the photographer. It was really the reason we got officially engaged. I can see why people need to plan so far in advance!I know in my area (Ottawa) late October can be very risky. September is a great time of year here (which is why we wanted Sept 15 2012), so I can appreciate your dream date. Where are you located? Sorry if I missed that. Are there any other options open for September?I don't think I'd be ok with settling for a place or a date I didn't want :(
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