Christian Weddings

Opposites Attract?

Are you and your man oppposites or similar? How do you see that playing out in your relationship?
PostCeremony-131.1

Re: Opposites Attract?

  • DramaGeekDramaGeek member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    We have a good balance of different and similar, I think.  We're similar in our basic beliefs, which I think is incredibly important for the foundation of a relationship, but very different in our hobbies and such.  It's made for a fun relationship because we expose each other to new things all the time.
  • BMcLeodTeamBMcLeodTeam member
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    We are DEFINITELY opposites! He is very shy and quiet, wears his heart on his sleeve, a follower, introvert... I am outgoing, most comfortable in leadership roles (which is why I loved the army), extrovert
  • AllyG303AllyG303 member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    We are very similar.  Sometimes that means that we butt heads (we are definitely both youngest siblings), but most times it means we agree on absolutely everything. 
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  • edited December 2011
    We just took a personality assessment for premarital counseling and the pastor said he had never seen people score on such opposite ends of the spectrum! Haha. The only thing we're the same on is we're both impulsive... so not exactly a good one! 
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  • fpaemp2011fpaemp2011 member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    We are very similar.  We just took personality tests for our Relationships Bible Study, and we're both Melancholy/Phelgmatic (or Golden Retriever/Beaver if you're familiar with Gary Smalley's tests).  Going through the tests, though, we do have different characteristics of those personalites.  While we're both relational and sensitive, I avoid confrontation while he is more bold and firm in that area.  I'm more scheduled, he's more spontaneous and can relax easier than I can.  

    We both have the same theological beliefs, both in major and minor areas, and the same views on child rearing, education, etc.
  • azdancer8azdancer8 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We're opposite in that he's a guy and I'm a girl. But that's about it. ;)

    Actually, we're extremely similar in many areas. We haven't even been married a year yet and we're constantly saying the exact same thing at the same time. We don't ever seem to really butt heads on anything.
  • iamjoesgurliamjoesgurl member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Ashley - I think we are the same person (ha ha).  Our (DH & I) faith and values are a lot the same.  One place that we complement each other is that I am a planner and if something needs to be done, I'm on it.  He is really laid back and will get to it when it absolutely needs to be done.  It gets on my nerves sometimes but I know it is just our personalities and my way of thinking gets on his nerves too!

    Another way we are opposites is that he loves cats and I don't at all.  Also, I love being around kids and he is so uncomfortable in that situation.

    We share a lot of interests and have our own independent interests too (which I think is healthy).
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  • BMcLeodTeamBMcLeodTeam member
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_opposites-attract?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:004b3a23-9164-4944-8f17-c94867ba10bbPost:e993b601-522e-4791-a6d9-9bddb4cfd4e3">Re: Opposites Attract?</a>:
    [QUOTE]We are very similar.  We just took personality tests for our Relationships Bible Study, and we're both Melancholy/Phelgmatic (or Golden Retriever/Beaver if you're familiar with Gary Smalley's tests).  Going through the tests, though, we do have different characteristics of those personalites.  While we're both relational and sensitive, I avoid confrontation while he is more bold and firm in that area.  I'm more scheduled, he's more spontaneous and can relax easier than I can.   We both have the same theological beliefs, both in major and minor areas, and the same views on child rearing, education, etc.
    Posted by fpaemp2011[/QUOTE]

    When we took our tests FI is a Phlegmatic/Melancholy... and I was Choleric with very little of anything else... lol
  • Ash61612Ash61612 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_opposites-attract?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:004b3a23-9164-4944-8f17-c94867ba10bbPost:76511799-4497-4b47-ad18-602a25ec16cf">Re: Opposites Attract?</a>:
    [QUOTE]We have a good balance of different and similar, I think. <strong> We're similar in our basic beliefs, which I think is incredibly important for the foundation of a relationship</strong>, but very different in our hobbies and such.  It's made for a fun relationship because we expose each other to new things all the time.
    Posted by DramaGeek[/QUOTE]

    <div>This is us exactly. Our beliefs are the same which I love but I am the Type A, worry type and FI is more laid back, things will happen when they will happen kinda guy. </div>
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_opposites-attract?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:004b3a23-9164-4944-8f17-c94867ba10bbPost:76511799-4497-4b47-ad18-602a25ec16cf">Re: Opposites Attract?</a>:
    [QUOTE]We have a good balance of different and similar, I think.  We're similar in our basic beliefs, which I think is incredibly important for the foundation of a relationship, but very different in our hobbies and such.  It's made for a fun relationship because we expose each other to new things all the time.
    Posted by DramaGeek[/QUOTE]

    <div>This. Although he is picking up my bad (or not so bad, depending on how you look at it) habits like eating cookie dough without ever making the actual cookies and singing/dancing around the house. But I sing and dance everywhere (haha) while he would never let ANYONE see him doing these things. He only does them in front of me. </div>
  • DramaGeekDramaGeek member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_opposites-attract?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:004b3a23-9164-4944-8f17-c94867ba10bbPost:91279e1a-a4b4-4297-8ea3-afc665c05f7a">Re: Opposites Attract?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Opposites Attract? : This is us exactly. Our beliefs are the same which I love but I am the Type A, worry type and FI is more laid back, things will happen when they will happen kinda guy. 
    Posted by Ash61612[/QUOTE]

    <div>Oh my heck, that is us to a tee.  H is also the logical, rational one and I am more emotional and rely on my intuition a lot.</div>
  • edited December 2011
    I would say that we are a good balance. We have a lot of similar and different interests that make it really fun for us to learn things from each other. Actually, when one of my friends first learned we were dating, she said "well i didn't think it would work at first because, even just style wise, he's like 'hipster hard core' and you're like 'wanna-be teacher', but it makes sense when you are together". I thought that kinda hit the nail on the head haha. By the way, when I first started dating my husband, his eyebrow was pierced and he wore very very skinny jeans-- also his favorite music is hardcore. He has since taken out the eyebrow ring and gotten some looser jeans haha.
     
  • FaithCaitlinFaithCaitlin member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    We're a nice mix of both. We're similar where it matters and opposites where it makes things fun!

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  • Ash61612Ash61612 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_opposites-attract?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:004b3a23-9164-4944-8f17-c94867ba10bbPost:a7373ce9-9baf-4ee8-a1eb-d54da0c14e6a">Re: Opposites Attract?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Opposites Attract? : This. <strong>Although he is picking up my bad (or not so bad, depending on how you look at it) habits like eating cookie dough without ever making the actual cookies</strong> and singing/dancing around the house. But I sing and dance everywhere (haha) while he would never let ANYONE see him doing these things. He only does them in front of me. 
    Posted by AshNoel8[/QUOTE]

    <div>haha, this made me laugh out loud! </div>
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  • mrandmrsbristmrandmrsbrist member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I think the longer we're together the more we balance out...When we first met, I was really loud and obnoxious (go figure, right? Heh) and he was suuuper shy. It took me a good month just to get him talking about regular normal things. But now it seems like I can't get him to shut up half the time and I'm becoming more quiet. I think it's a good thing. :)
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  • Purple&7Purple&7 member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Comments Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    We are complete opposites! He's very laid back and I worry a lot. I do think however that our personalities are starting to rub off on each other LOL!
  • ochemjennochemjenn member
    500 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Great thread!

    We're similar, but I tend to be more extreme than H, if that makes any sense.  We did the Myers-Briggs test for our premartial counselling.  For example, we're both introverted, but I'm WAY more introverted than H is.  H kinda mellows me out.
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  • naomikbnaomikb member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    We are very similar in our core beliefs, values, plans for raising children, expectations of each others, finances and budgeting.   We are also both very silly and like to make each other laugh.

    I am more organized/neat-freak/planner/A-type personality, he is much more laid back, go with the flow.  We complement each other very well, I bring a bit of order to his life and he has shown me that life is more fun when you relax and take a chill pill and smile and laugh.

  • edited December 2011
    We're very similar, and in the things we're opposite, it's a nice balance. For example, I can't stand talking to bureaucratic systems online or example, calling about a bill) and he doesn't give a whit, so I can just hand it off to him and literally feel the stress lift off my shoulders.  We encourage each other immensely. We have similar weaknesses, which can be a bad thing, except God has used it so we know each others triggers and watch out for the other person to fail, so we can step in and try to prevent it.  When I feel spiritually weak, he'll tell me burst into a praise song or read the Bible, and I try to do the same to him. We've both changed since we've met, but just for the better.

    In personality terms, he's a ENFJ and I'm an I/ENFP.  It's funny because pretty much ALL of my close friends and family are Js and have no patience with my P side... but my P side lets me see more sides of the situation and therefore caution him when he's being too impuslive. (J means you're decisive, P means you see deeper into a situation, and consequently often have a harder time making decisions).  But as you can see, we're very similar!

    He also has a great sense of humor.  He can tease me almost as well as I can tease, which is so refreshing.  I come from a family of jokesters and most of my friends and former romantic partners didn't quite keep up with me. :)

    We have similar values and goals, and when we don't agree, we complement. It is exceedingly clear, not just from this but from a LOT of things God's revealed, that we were made for each other.
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  • Bett2012Bett2012 member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    We're a good mix - our beliefs and values are dead on each other.... where we differ is more in our personalities. i'm an introvert, he's an extrovert; i'm very organized and scheduled, he is more spontaneous; i avoid confrontation, he stands up more than me.

    I think we balance each other out well :)
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  • edited December 2011
    Very much both.  :)

    I'm very cluttered, work well with 15 sheets of stickers strewn out around me with papers and glue and scissors and the dog asleep next to me with the cat behind my head and the other next to my foot.  He's very, every wrench has a place, every tool gets put up the SECOND you are done with it, the more cluttered you are the harder it is to find stuff, animals should be on the floor while I'm at the table.

    I'm always saying, "I'll do it tomorrow, we're not rushed, it'll be ok..."  He's always saying, "Let's just do it now, I like to be early, we need to figure out plan A B & C now..."

    I LOVE surprises, though I always try and get him to tell me what it is ahead of time.  He says he likes them, but cannot STAND to get a surprise and has to know what I have planned NOW or he starts getting angry.

    However, we communicate very well for the most part and it's really really hard to surprise each other because we think so much alike in that aspect.  For example:
    I was in Kansas, he was in Arkansas, and I was planning to talk to him Mema when I got back for a date night at Dixie Stampede in Branson and stay in our wedding night hotel.  I was talking to him on the phone and we were both being secretive until he finally said,
    "Well I guess it's just not going to be a surprise, but I talked to Mema and I paid for everything but she got us tickets to Dixie Stampede and to stay in a hotel room on the strip."  I of course busted up laughing and explained to him my plan.  We still laugh about that one.  :)
  • edited December 2011
    [QUOTE]I think the longer we're together the more we balance out...When we first met, I was really loud and obnoxious (go figure, right? Heh) and he was suuuper shy. It took me a good month just to get him talking about regular normal things. But now it seems like I can't get him to shut up half the time and I'm becoming more quiet. I think it's a good thing. :)
    Posted by mrandmrsbrist[/QUOTE]

    That sounds like DH and I when we first started dating!!  Now all he talks about is motors and trucks and tractors and I listen and try to learn but gosh, I want to talk about how cute the cats and the dog are!!  :P 
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