Another type of PPD

KatieK501

I hate being one of those people who complain about FMIL, because she really is sweet and I love her - I'm pretty sure I just need some space.  I mentioned this on our first open letter Thursday, but this has only gotten worse. 

FMIL has 5 grandchildren, and it's always been a little obvious to me that there's a favorite - which happens to be FI's neice which we asked to be our flower girl.  When I told FG's parents they could select the dress for her - so they could pick their price range and it's something I didn't have to worry with - FMIL insisted she make the dress.  After talking with the FG about making the dress, FG called the wedding "flower girl day" - and FMIL has latched on to that phrase.  FG is 6 so I could expect that...from her.  That was in April.  We're 4 weeks from the wedding, and FMIL has not started the dress.  I'm not stressing about it b/c I know we can just go to a department store and find something cute, but FG called FMIL last week to see how the dress was coming.  While on the phone, FG asked if there would be a special dance for her.  I'm sure FMIL said yes.  FMIL mentioned that to FI and I, and FI said "NO - we won't be catering to her".  FMIL got upset.

FMIL definetly thinks this is her granddaughter's PPD, and while I think it's sweet that FG is excited, I'm ready to stop hearing about it.  It's her own son's wedding!  Does that make me sound like I expect it to be my PPD? 

michelle11988

I think your wedding day = your PPD, not your FG's PPD.  I would totally be aggravated as well if I was in your shoes.  I would definitely have FI talk to his mom and tell her she needs to be the one to break the news to the FG about no dance and it isn't FG's PPD its yours.

lvissers

Ugh that is gross and annoying!!! lol.

This is a wedding because of you and your FI are getting married! You are the BRIDE! I would be super irritated if my wedding turned into my future step daugher's day and revolved around her and thats all FMIL would talk about. Your flower girl will have her own wedding one day where it can be all about her. 
 
Try to just shake it off and know that everyone else at your wedding will be there to see YOU and your FI get married. A flower girl is just a cute prop essentially.

bridetobe71412

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_another-type-of-ppd?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:4e7a9b12-1e5f-4432-a3cf-300c23ffc765Post:ad64a028-869b-4f81-887e-70cb8695918a">Re: Another type of PPD</a>:
[QUOTE]Ugh that is gross and annoying!!! lol. This is a wedding because of you and your FI are getting married! You are the BRIDE! I would be super irritated if my wedding turned into my future step daugher's day and revolved around her and thats all FMIL would talk about. Your flower girl will have her own wedding one day where it can be all about her.    Try to just shake it off and know that everyone else at your wedding will be there to see YOU and your FI get married. <strong>A flower girl is just a cute prop essentially.
</strong>Posted by lvissers[/QUOTE]

Yup. Pretty much. I think someone needs to tell your FMIL (ahem, FIANCE) that it's insulting to you and your fiance that she won't recognize the REAL purpose of the day.

MeaganR12

No, you have every right to be annoyed and it doesn't make it sound like you want it to be your PPD. I don't know how you're keeping your cool so well, I would flip out. 

owengirl996

ITA with everyone else and I'd be thoroughly annoyed as well!! It's definitely cute that the FG is excited, and of course she doesn't really understand what the day is all about. But it'd be pretty simple for your FMIL to explain to her, in kid terms, what it's about. It's probably kind of late now, though, since she basically thinks it's a party for her lol

It's ok though, don't worry about them. Everyone else knows this is you and FI's day. If you're doing some cheesey dance songs, put on the hokey pokey and tell her it's a dance for her...she can hokey her pokey in the middle of the dance floor and call it a night (Or, just tell her any song is for her and send her out to dance with everyone else!)

[Deleted User]

Okay this is just weird. Why on earth would your FMIL lead a little girl to believe this day is all about her when it definitely is not.  I would have your FI talk to his mom and let her know she needs to tell the niece what the role of the FG is so she isn't disappointed when the day comes.

mekiakoo

How annoying! Wow!