So . . . quick background for those of you who don't know: BF and I met on a Christian dating site, did LD for 1 year, then I moved to his town when I finished school, but we agreed that for a temporary time, I would live with him and his mom since I didn't have a job or much money. It took a lot longer than I thought to get a job, but God provided and now I'm making plans to get my own apartment since BF and I don't want to live together before we're married (even though we've had to do it temporarily). (Sidenote: we're not officially engaged yet, so he's still just "BF" but we are planning to get engaged when he can afford a ring).
Anyway, BF and I disagree with FMIL on a lot of issues - relationships and money being the two biggest. The two of them have had lots of arguments/discussions about these things and I try to stay out of it, but things have been building for a while b/c FMIL has now "met" someone online and is so excited. I'm excited for her too (and so is BF) except she hasn't actually met this man yet and they're already discussing moving in together and getting married (they've been talking online for about 1 month). She even looked up moving costs and is figuring out how to get there.
So . . . BF and I are happy for her, but she seems to think that you can know a person very intimately in only a few weeks and know enough to plan your future with him. We've tried to caution her that she needs to slow down, but she got upset with us b/c she says that BF and I did the same thing and that we're always so negative when it comes to her relationships (she's been married and divorced twice, never married BF's father so it is true that we question her decisions, but this time we really are excited for her, but we're just cautioning her not to go too fast). She also said that she's an adult and can make her own decisions. This is very true, so BF said we'll just drop the subject and she can do whatever she wants but he's not going to help her with one dime of the moving costs. She said FINE I'm not asking for your help b/c so-and-so (the guy she's "dating") will help her pay for it.
But what really hurt me was her accusation that BF and I did the same thing. That is simply not true! When we first got in touch, we discussed our expectations for marriage (role of man/role of woman) and our Christian beliefs to make sure we were compatible in those areas but then we took time to pray and get to know each other to seek God's will for us. We did discuss future options for one of us moving since obviously we couldn't do long-distance forever, but we didn't make any definite plans until after we had spent time together in person and gotten to know each other better.
So when she brought our relationship into the conversation, I couldn't take it anymore and I said something like "if you don't want to listen to our advice, then fine, but that's why I'm moving out - because you could care less what I say" ** and then I stormed away from the dinner table and am now in my room. BF and his mom continued at it with him telling his mom to just let it go since they would never agree on this issue. He definitely stood up for me, which I'm thankful, but I feel guilty for getting upset and storming off. I feel like I owe her an apology for what I said. Even though I feel that I'm right, I shouldn't have let my anger get the better of me. I should have just kept my mouth shut. But part of me is glad I spoke up b/c I haven't said much for a long time and this has just been building.
And praise God I actually found an apartment a few days ago that looks very promising for me to move into June 1st. Of course, though, BF told me that FMIL thought I was only moving b/c of what just happened tonight. Hello! I've told her since I moved here that I would only be staying temporarily until I could get my own place. Oh well. BF has assured me that I should just let it go b/c she's stubborn and there's not point in trying to change her. It's kinda funny b/c I hear her typing in the other room - she's probably venting to her online man. Oh well. I'm just gonna let this one go. I've got plans to move out and BF and I are in agreement on this so I'm gonna look at the positive things.
Thanks for reading! I just needed to get this off my chest.
**Note: I'm moving for a whole lot of reasons, but that's just what came out of my mouth!
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