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i need peace (rant)

Sorry in advanced for the rant... So I've been scrimping and saving for months: i don't go to the movies or go out to dinner unless DH convinces me to, I bring my own lunch/coffee to work, I don't shop for clothes/accessories, I don't get my hair done (I do get my nails done), I barely seen friends/family to avoid travel expenses... But now there's a church retreat I want to go to with DH. I've really been looking forward to it because I haven't been on one before, and I feel like it would be spiritually revitalizing and great fellowship with our new church. It was mentioned a few months back but only just got details on when and cost a few weeks ago. 

But now we can't go is cuz I got a stupid speeding ticket. I was going 50 in what was apparently a 25 (I was certain it was 45, but apparently that was 1/4 of a mile ahead of me) so that's going to be a hefty fine, probably at least $500. I'm not even sure how much because I can't get a hold of the court, and the court date (mandatory) is 2 days before the retreat. So DH tells me we shouldn't go on the retreat because any spare money we have should go towards the ticket. Which is right. But I'm just being a brat because it doesn't feel fair. He's gotten things that he's wanted lately, and now when I really want something, I can't have it. I kept asking, "Why can't I have something that I want?" This is nothing against DH, it's my own fault... but it sucks, and I feel like we'll be missing out on a great opportunity. Maybe God is making me save that money for something better? Or I just need to shut up and accept my punishment. And to be grateful that we both have FT jobs and can pay our bills. I just need peace about this.

save the date
"Here we stand from two distant lands, brought together by His hand" <3 my Aussie <BR>

Re: i need peace (rant)

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    edited December 2011
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    edited December 2011
    Ahhh I'm so sorry about this! I have gotten speeding tickets for silly reasons like that and it's definitely not fun! You're right, maybe God has a reason for you to stay here during the retreat... Or maybe you should buy a scratch-off ticket and you'll win $1,000! Haha jk. I'll pray for peace. 
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    xstarx05xxstarx05x member
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    edited December 2011
    Thanks for the support and prayers :) Oh I forgot to add that I valued going to this retreat over a Steven Curtis Chapman concert at 6 flags! Grrr

    save the date
    "Here we stand from two distant lands, brought together by His hand" <3 my Aussie <BR>
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    mrandmrsbristmrandmrsbrist member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Go to court on the ticket. Often they will be reduced if not dismissed at all. I've had several stupid ones (two like yours where it was a speed trap) completely dismissed. Also, you get a deferral in the US (I think I remember you saying you're not from the US). So anyway, yeah, go to court.

    I hear you on the money thing. H and I are going to be counting our pennies here pretty soon...
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    xstarx05xxstarx05x member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_need-peace-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:0ccc953d-a248-4292-96b5-f2012f7c25f1Post:bd572557-941d-4001-8121-66fa71e280e8">Re: i need peace (rant)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Go to court on the ticket. Often they will be reduced if not dismissed at all. I've had several stupid ones (two like yours where it was a speed trap) completely dismissed. Also, you get a deferral in the US (I think I remember you saying you're not from the US). So anyway, yeah, go to court. I hear you on the money thing. H and I are going to be counting our pennies here pretty soon...
    Posted by mrandmrsbrist[/QUOTE]

    <div>Thanks for the advice :)  Yeah I have to go to court anyway; don't have a choice. Hopefully it won't be as severe as I expect but I'm preparing myself for the worst. Got some advice on that from the NJ knotties. I actually grew up in NJ, DH is Australian :)  But that doesn't matter cuz I don't understand this stuff anyway. What do you mean about the deferral?</div><div>
    </div><div>I how I miss the days I could spend money on whatever and didn't have to worry about rent and bills... Oh well, would mean DH and I wouldn't be together, and that would be sad! Gotta remind myself that when I get too nostalgiac for the yesteryears... </div>

    save the date
    "Here we stand from two distant lands, brought together by His hand" <3 my Aussie <BR>
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    mrandmrsbristmrandmrsbrist member
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    edited December 2011
    I don't know about NJ laws, but in WA you get a deferral every 7 years. Basically, you go to court, you say you want a deferral and then if you go one year without getting another ticket, the ticket from before is wiped clean, is not reported to insurance, etc. Look into it for NJ :)

    I think I'm going to look up NJ laws just for the heck of it. Because here, we get to know the amount of the ticket right away. It's on the ticket itself. It's weird that you don't know how much it is yet and it's also weird that you HAVE to go to court. In WA it isn't required...you can choose to just pay the ticket through the mail and move on with your life. The only reason you'd go to court is if you want to contest (fight it), defer (what I talked about above) or mitigate (basically, you say that you did it but ask for a reduction in fine).

    That was kind of long winded. Hope it helps you some!
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    xstarx05xxstarx05x member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    That would be fantastic if NJ does that! Will definitely look into that. (I'll start by asking the NJ knotties! lol)

    save the date
    "Here we stand from two distant lands, brought together by His hand" <3 my Aussie <BR>
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    FaithCaitlinFaithCaitlin member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    That stinks! Like Mrs. Brist said, go to court! 

    I hope it all works out. 

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    xstarx05xxstarx05x member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Now we're looking at th possibility of just going down one day with another couple that can't do the retreat, but DH can't seem to get one Saturday off work. He has NEER gotten off a day he requested, except for the honeymoon thankfully! He's missed out on every family get together because of it and I'm getting sooo tired of it :( it's impossible to plan anything with our friends/family!

    save the date
    "Here we stand from two distant lands, brought together by His hand" <3 my Aussie <BR>
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    edited December 2011
    can you reschedule your court date? IDK how it is in NJ ( i am from Cali) but here if something conflicts i am pretty sure you can reschedule it. 
    And you can pay for the ticket over time (here i can pay $25 a month if i cant afford more). 

    I got a ticket for driving with my cell phone (hehe) and i just pay $25 a month for it (its like a $250 ticket). ]

    GL!
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