Hard decission to make

StacyJenniges

I have a hard decission I need to make.  My fiance is really anxious about having to live with my cats, and having my cats in the new house.  I have two boy cats and right now they are starting to get teritorial so they have sprayed on one of my chairs. 

I can see his side, but my cats are my babies I break down crying just thinking about getting rid of them.  He is not forcing me to get rid of them but he would really like it if I do.  Honostly this has been something that I have been wondering if it would be better if I just found good homes for them. 

I'm just not sure what I should do.  I am going to ask this woman at church who is about 60 who recently lost her cat if she would be willing to take my older cat (who is only like 5).  He's a cuddler and she wants a lap cat.  I thought if he could make someone like her happy I know she would give him all the love and attention I gave him. 

kellya01

Can you get them neutered?  My male cat is neutered and he doesn't spray.  But my cat might just be weird ... :-/

Sorry you have to figure something out for the cats.  I know how much they feel like family! 

joie424

Cats tend to be less territorial when they are neutered, is there a reason you can't do that?

StacyJenniges

actually that's the problem they actually are neutered and they are still a bit territorial.  I think the problem is because I have two male cats.

FaithCaitlin

I have to be honest, I wouldn't get rid of my cats. Ever. I personally would just trying training techniques to prevent them from spraying. How long have they known your FI? Do they get to spend a lot of time with him? My cats are demons. They cry, chase me around the house, bite, etc. I love them terribly. FI knows that the cats and I are a package deal, haha. I'm so sorry you're in this situation. I'd definitely look into some training options and do a bit of googling before you get rid of them.

joie424

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_hard-decission?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:1482f390-165f-4028-9ff9-6790c7b6b54bPost:f992c472-0960-4aab-9d91-9e7132eecb12">Re: Hard decission to make</a>:
[QUOTE]I have to be honest, I wouldn't get rid of my cats. Ever. I personally would just trying training techniques to prevent them from spraying. How long have they known your FI? Do they get to spend a lot of time with him? My cats are demons. They cry, chase me around the house, bite, etc. I love them terribly. FI knows that the cats and I are a package deal, haha. I'm so sorry you're in this situation.<strong> I'd definitely look into some training options and do a bit of googling before you get rid of them.</strong>
Posted by FaithCaitlin[/QUOTE]

I totally agree with this! There are even "at home training" tips you can look up. I'd even say its worth asking your vet. Honestly, I would not get rid of them. I understand why your FI is upset but if you've had your cats a while, you are their family and giving them away may traumatize them (and you)

iamjoesgurl

My DH wants cats very much. I didn't grow up with cats and everything people tell me about cats is so negative and I really don't want them.  I know this is a different situation than yours because the cats are already part of your family, but do you understand why he doesn't want them?  Is it just their spraying tendency?  I think that as much as possible, you should try to work with him to find a resolution that is beneficial to both of you.   I agree with googling to see what you can do about the behaviors that he is most concerned about.  

I am trying to get over our issue and we have begun to set ground rules that we can both agree upon.  Best of luck to you.  This is the first of many disagreements that you'll have so hopefully this will help you learn how to find good resolutions to things that you have to work through.

aggiebug

Stacy

I have some questions.

Have you moved in with FI? or were there any other big changes in your life that happened before your cats started spraying?

How many litter boxes do you have? have you changed litter? location? frequency of change?

Are your cats able to have their own space? like places to sleep and eat without seeing each other or at least a good distance apart?

What you are seeing is a behavior change in your cats.  Cats that are neutered tend to have a reason behind this change.  Typically it is stress.  If something big has changed in their lives, or they can sense a negative change in you it can trigger this type of behavior.  They could also have a urinary issue.  Cats are weird if they have a painful time going to the bathroom, they associate it with the litter box and will refuse to use it from that time forward.

I completely understand your FI's hesitation, and I think this is a subject you obviously need to discuss and come up with a plan.  Instead of plan 1 being find homes, I hope plan 1 becomes find the reason behind this behavior and what we can do to fix it.

If you have any questions feel free to page me/ PM me.  I am on the may 11 board but will see it here too.

StacyJenniges

From where they spary I can tell it's a teritory thing.  My Fiance and I have talked about why he wants me to get rid of them so I do know the reasons.  The hard thing is that I have been thinking for a little while it might be the best thing for everyone, but it's very hard. 

I'm taking the time to think about it talking to some people about what they think and if I do decide to give them away I will be making sure they go to good homes. 

Thanks for all the advise girls!  The Christian Wedding board is the best!

AshNoel8

I am allergic to cats, so I can't have one... but I do have a dog and he can be bad, but I love him so much and he is truly like my furry child and I could never get rid of him no matter what. So I agree with the other ladies- try to see if you can fix the behaviors without getting rid of them. Animals are a part of the family, ya know? 

sessionswedding

I want to tell you that I think you should give them good homes, but I am very biased.  I am not a pet person.  I absolutely DO NOT like animals of any kind.  Not even goldfish.  I have no pets, and (thank goodness) neither does FI.  The only thing close to pets we have are the dogs our respective parents own.  And those dogs make me not want dogs.  I have told FI that if he wants to live in the same house as me, he will let go of wanting a dog.

Call me an animal-hating Nazi, but I was kinda traumatized when I was 4 and my next door neighbor poisoned our Dalmatian to death.  And again when I was 7 and my dad put an aggressive fish in the tank with my goldfish and I watched my fish be EATEN ALIVE.  I don't want any more pets.  Ever.