Vows

fam6

I am know I am not very active on this board but I have a question for you....

I am saying obey in my vows and glad to be vowing to obey this Godly man that will lead our family.  If you are saying or said obey, do you find that you have to defend this decision to others that think it is weak??

fpaemp2011

We both said "Love, honor, and respect," because DH didn't want "obey" to be in the vows.  The weddings I attended growing up always said, "obey" so most of my family would have expected it to be there.  We didn't hear of anyone being upset that it wasn't, though.  But, no, I wouldn't have had to defend it to the majority of my family and friends since we all grew up in the same church.

iamjoesgurl

Are you concerned that some of your guests may approach you after the wedding to ask why you said you would obey your husband?  If that's the case, I would just say that you believe that God has called your husband to be the head of the home and that you trust your husband to seek God's guidance in all of the decisions he makes for your family.  I would hope that they would respect your beliefs and not press the matter but if they do, I think you could just ask them to understand that this is the way you feel and leave it at that.

And we didn't have "obey" in our vows and we never discussed it.  It just wasn't one of the options that our officiant gave us.

letyourselfgo

If its in the standard vows in the Lutheran Service Book, then I will say "obey". If it's not, then I wont.

mrandmrsbrist

I think I will use obey. I know some of my more non-traditional friends will question and maybe even side eye it. But if they want to ask me about it, they can. I'm not shy about defending my choices

drama1308

I told the pastor I WANTED to say obey (none of the vows we looked through had obey in them)

I never thought about people asking why it was in there, and I don't think I'd question anybody's vows unless they were something crazy

amongthelilies25

i am looking at different vows on www.myweddingvows.com.

i know we want traditional vows...... but there a lot of choices. 

LeahVB2011

Funny story about this actually...I did not want "obey" in the vows and DH was fine with that. Well on the day of the wedding our officant (my dad) realized he never took it out and decided it to keep it in there. So when we said our vows and my dad said "obey" I pause for a minute in shock that he did this and then practically choked out "obey".  Everyone thought and this was hiliarous and it was one of the high lights of the wedding. I don't think it makes a woman weak because obeying is part of our role that God gave us as wives.

DramaGeek

We did not use the word obey and it does give me pause when someone uses it.  Then again, I'm one of those crazy women's libbers who believes in mutual submission.  However, while I might do the internal equivalent of making a face (though I would not if you both said obey!), I would never, ever say anything to you or anyone else about it.

fam6

I am not so much worried what guests will think.  I am confident in our decision.  It was just brought up in a sermon over the weekend that there are times when it is made into a bit of a joke or when people feel stongly about taking it out and it dawned on me that some might wonder or question why we are leaving it in.  Thanks for the different viewd on the matter....always an interesting topic.