Hi ladies! I posted this on E and they pointed me over here hoping you guys would be able to help me out! I have copied and pasted my OP, also the reason we are not wanting to live together is we are saving ourselves until marriage! Thanks in advance girls.
Hi ladies. I have lurked on this board for a while now, and I have decided to come out of hiding. I have a question I would like to ask and will hopefully get good feedback. I have not seen this question asked lately, so I figured I would post because my situation is slightly different from the other posts that I have seen. Let me first say, I am so so sorry this is long.
My FI and I have been engaged for about 7 months, however, we had been dating for 2.5 years prior to the engagement. We have planed and booked our wedding in Charleston, SC for October 13, 2011. We are thrilled because it is the exact venue and season that we wanted. We booked our venue a little bit earlier than normal as it is a very popular place. Luckily FI and I's parents have been very generous and agreed to pay for the entire wedding, without their help this would have been nearly impossible to get as nice of a ceremony and reception as we will be. I am so thankful for this.
This is where things get a little tricky though. I was not supposed to graduate until August 2011, after I completed one last summer class- it was only going to be offered this Spring and then again in the summer. The spring class was full and the department would make NO exceptions. I received an email this week from my department head who said they would allow an over-ride on the course, seeing this was the only class I would need before graduation. Nothing like last minute.
Another great thing happened as well. I am currently interning in the field I want to go into, and my internship ends in May, after spring semester. Until this past week, I was told that because I would not be graduating until August they were not going to be able to offer me a full time position. When I went in and told my supervisor the news about me being able to graduate she said that this was wonderful and she was going to look into job opportunities for me. I had originally told her that I would like an opportunity in Charleston, as FI really wanted to be able to move here, he loves it in Charleston. I also gave her options of Charlotte, NC and Boston, MA.
Today she sent me an email (early Christmas gift) and told me they would be able to place me in Boston, MA. Where FI lives. This is great, and he is terribly happy for me, and is okay with staying in Boston. However, the job will begin in May, as soon as I graduate.
It is important to both of our families, as well as FI and myself that we do not live together before we are married. However, it seems incredibly silly for me to move from Charleston to Boston and have to live in a seperate house than FI. It seems like such a waste of money for us both to have to pay rent, especially since rent is not cheap in Boston.
I had talked with my parents about possibly moving to Boston in May if the job opportunity was there- and it happened to be. FI and I talked with our families about how we would handle this situation if this were to happen. We were hoping it wouldn't, and hoped that we would be able to begin our lives together in Charleston. This is such a great opportunity that I can not pass up.
After talking with our families we had decided that we would get married when I graduated, May 2011. We would have a small, family only wedding ceremony and do a nice dinner, with just the 2 families and also our MOH and BM. Both families still want us to have the ceremony and reception we have planned in October. The ceremony we would have in May would be on my parents dock, behind our home, and our pastor would be officiating, it would be my mom and dad, FI's mom and dad, brother and sister, and my MOH.
It would be impossible to move the ceremony up to May, and we would loose lots of deposit money if we canceled and searched for a new venue that could accommadate us in May. So, my question to you is, etiquette wise, should we still have a ceremony, or I suppose vow-renewal in October, or just the reception? We are in NO way going to lie to people about being married, we will tell everyone that we are already married. I know there are some friends of ours, especially our WP's that wanted to be a part of the ceremony and witness that as well. So FI and I are torn about not doing a simple renewal and only a reception. We don't want people to feel as though we have completly excluded them from the entire thing. Anyone been here, similar situation? Oh, what to do?