Christian Weddings

Meeting With Pastor

Hello all, i have a question that hopefully you can help me with. I am meeting with our pastor for the wedding tomorrow for the first time. J and I do not go to a regular church, which is why we are meeting for sort of the first time ever. I say sort of because it was the pastor that my mom grew up with and he married my parents, he baptized me and my brothers, my great grandma was his secretary for 35 years, my family knows him super well, etc. So he remembers me, I just don't remember him, hah. ANYWAY.

We are meeting tomorrow to talk about the ceremony and such and I have no idea what to ask him or talk about. I know he will probably have a good idea of where to lead the conversation, but is there anything in particular that you all found helpful when talking to the pastor? Particularly if you met them for the first time just for the wedding? This will be a Lutheran based ceremony, if that helps. Thanks for any insight! :)

Re: Meeting With Pastor

  • mrandmrsbristmrandmrsbrist member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary
    edited December 2011 grandpa was the one who married us. I wish I could help you with this, but I just wanted to wish you luck! Don't be nervous about it. Not a big deal. And hopefully he's a pretty relaxed guy. Besides preaching, meeting with people is kind of his job. :)
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  • ravenrayravenray member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited December 2011

    I would talk about what kind of things you would like in your ceremony.  Unity candle, Sand, the three knot thing?  Any readings you want?  Music(if applicable)?  I would also spend some time telling him about you and your FI, your likes and things you share in common.  He is most likely going to have to say something about you guys as a couple so tell him about you.

    "Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained"-C.S. Lewis

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  • faith415faith415 member
    edited December 2011
    My dad is marrying us along with my best friend's dad, so no help here either!!

    If there's something specific you know you want I would ask about that. I'd also double check on cermony music, because I know some churches will only allow specific types of music to be played. Most ministers have a basic layout of what they do at weddings that they'll share with you as a guideline. Then they'll kind of let you pick and choose what you like and add things you want to it. Good luck!
  • edited December 2011
    Is this the first of multiple meetings? Did he say you were talking about the ceremony details? We'll have about 6 meetings with my pastor, and we won't talk about ceremony details until the end. The earlier meetings are about marriage and family and children and faith and budgeting.
  • edited December 2011
    I would talk about what things you like out of other ceremonies maybe - how things are said and all.  Maybe that will help!!  Take a deep breathe though, it'll work out!!
  • edited December 2011
    Be sure to ask him if he will be delivering a message and what that will consist of. Perhaps see if you can view it before hand. 

    He will most likely do a good job of guiding the discussion, you should be just fine :)
  • azdancer8azdancer8 member
    edited December 2011
    If you plan on having communion at the wedding, be sure to ask him if there are  any restrictions/rules. (For example, some pastors can only serve communion if it is to the entire congregation.)
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks for the advice/ideas ladies! Unfortunately, his FIL was very ill so he had to cancel our meeting and we need to reschedule. But I will keep this stuff in mind! He is very casual and stuff so I'm not necessarily nervous about the meeting part, just making sure that I remember everything that we need to discuss. We aren't getting married in a church (our venue does ceremonies & receptions in the same hall), but I definitely want to talk to him about song choices and such. Thanks guys! :)
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