Both Christian, but 2 different religions

eandngalloway

Hi-
My FI and I have been talking pretty seriously about how to raise our children.  We know they're going to be raised Christian, but we're struggling with how polar opposite we are in that sphere. 
My FI believes the world was made in 6 days.  I think evolution is correct.

My FI believes that Jesus is the only way to heaven.  I believe that if you are good, and follow the rules that manifest in basically every religion, you'll get to heaven.

My FI believes the Bible to be a literal work.  I think it's purpose was symbolic. 

Has anyone encountered this problem?  We really need some help- Bible verses to read, Christian interpretations of the Bible, etc.  We both know that if we can't find some middle ground, we don't have any business raising children together.  

Thanks! 

sessionswedding

The title of your post is confusing.  Christianity is a relationship with God, not a religion, so I'm not really sure what you mean by that.

As for scriptural references, I'm going to have to agree with your FI's POV on things.  Verses below, copied from biblegateway.com.

²⁹ Then God said, "Look! I have given you every seed-bearing plant throughout the earth and all the fruit trees for your food.³⁰ And I have given every green plant as food for all the wild animals, the birds in the sky, and the small animals that scurry along the ground—everything that has life.” And that is what happened.
 ³¹ Then God looked over all he had made, and he saw that it was very good!
   And evening passed and morning came, marking the sixth day.
 - Genesis 1:29-31

 ⁶ Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.
 - John 14:6

 ⁶ And since it is through God’s kindness, then it is not by their good works. For in that case, God’s grace would not be what it really is—free and undeserved.
 - Romans 11:6

¹⁶ All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right.
 - 2 Timothy 3:16

ETA:  In summation, I believe the Bible to be a literal work (with the exception of Song of Songs, for instance, which is a poem and other literary sections of the Bible).  I believe in intelligent design (i.e. something along the lines of evolution exists BECAUSE God made it).  And I believe that salvation is through faith in Christ, not good works.

aggiebug

I think this would be a good reason to talk to a Christian counselor.  Just as someone that can help mediate your differences and help you find a place that is comfortable to both.  maybe?

H and I were very lucky in that we were raised in the same denomination.  Our biggest difference is he likes a very traditional worship service and I would be ok with something a little more contemporary.

fpaemp2011

Similar to Sessions, I agree with your FI's beliefs, and can honestly say that I would not compromise instilling those truths in my children, and thankfully my husband also believes the same things.  If he didn't agree with the basic principles you listed, we wouldn't even be together, much less married.  IMO, the two of you need to figure out how this is going to affect your marriage BEFORE the wedding, before you can even think about raising kids.

I know you asked for verses, and I was going to share the same verses as Sessions, but if you don't believe the Bible is literal, then I'm not sure any verses are going to convince you.

Also, if you don't believe Jesus is the only way to Heaven, which is one of the foundational beliefs of Christianity, if not THE foundational belief, then what do you think makes someone a believer/Christ-follower?

mrandmrsbrist

Ditto what PP's said...I agree with your FI's beliefs.

But I think I can offer some advice as to your actual question, but let me preface by saying that you and your FI should not find middle ground in your beliefs. Asking someone to compromise their beliefs is not okay in my book.

FI and I think differently and were raised in two different "denominations" if you will. There were basic truths (such as the trinity and a few other things) that we did not see eye to eye on. We discovered this after we had been dating for quite some time. And once we discovered it, we went to the Bible for answers. We talked through scripture together and prayed together. There are still a few things that we don't see eye to eye on, but I consider them to be more minor than the things we originally discovered and I attribute that to a growing understanding more than anything.

As for children, we picked a church and have been attending together since before we were engaged. We plan to raise our children in this same denomination and let them explore the Bible with guidance. We want them to be open with us about their beliefs, but we want to be on the same page about our answers to their questions.

Hope this helps!

iamjoesgurl

Whenever DH and I have discussions where we disagree on something that is related to our Christian beliefs, I always suggest that we see what the Bible has to say about it.  But if you don't believe in the Bible as being authored by God and completely true, you might not agree with that.  It seems like your FI's beliefs are Biblically based so if you can't agree on the Bible, you might have a lot of challenges ahead.

I think that the book "Evidence That Demands a Verdict" would be a good book that you could read and discuss with FI.  I have a friend who is in a very similar situation to you and because she and her husband do not share a common theology about their basic core beliefs, they have suffered many years of disagreement and discord.  I hope you can work out your differences.  I'll be praying for you.

kalizoomba

I'm tending to agree more with your FI on these issues..... 
Creation did happen in 6 days. I don't know if those days had 24 hours in them, but they were days. 
Jesus Christ IS the only way to heaven. Being "good" doesn't cut it. 
The Bible is both literal and symbolic. Each passage has a literal AND a symbolic meaning. The Bible is a living book. You can read the same thing several times and get something new out of it each time.

The Bible is the most important part of our relationship with God - as PP said, if you cannot agree on the Bible, you're going to have bigger issues than what to teach your children.   

perkins81

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_christian-but-2-different-religions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:2c66e100-0778-40d0-8ddb-3c410bf4de0bPost:6475124c-99e9-450c-ba73-493ce754ec9a">Re: Both Christian, but 2 different religions</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm tending to agree more with your FI on these issues.....  Creation did happen in 6 days. I don't know if those days had 24 hours in them, but they were days. <strong> Jesus Christ IS the only way to heaven. Being "good" doesn't cut it.</strong>  The Bible is both literal and symbolic. Each passage has a literal AND a symbolic meaning. The Bible is a living book. You can read the same thing several times and get something new out of it each time. The Bible is the most important part of our relationship with God - as PP said, if you cannot agree on the Bible, you're going to have bigger issues than what to teach your children.   
Posted by kalizoomba[/QUOTE]


And here is the scripture to back this up:

<strong>(Mathew 7)
<font class="woj"><sup class="versenum"><font size="2">21</font></sup> “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.</font> <font class="woj"><sup class="versenum"><font size="2">22</font></sup> Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’</font> <font class="woj"><sup class="versenum"><font size="2">23</font></sup> Then I will tell them plainly, <u>‘I never knew you</u>. Away from me, you evildoers!’</font>


</strong>Doing good doesn't get you into heaven. Knowing Jesus Christ does. OP, If you don't believe foundational Biblical principals, then why would you call yourself a Christian? I don't understand.

DramaGeek

While I'm with you on some of your beliefs, I have a hard time with the idea that Christ is not the only way to heaven.  Do you believe that Jesus Christ is the son of God? 

sister2groom

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_christian-but-2-different-religions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:2c66e100-0778-40d0-8ddb-3c410bf4de0bPost:3b7ed1f1-52ec-4075-a912-835508334853">Both Christian, but 2 different religions</a>:
[QUOTE]I believe that if you are good, and follow the rules that manifest in basically <strong>every religion</strong>, you'll get to heaven.
Posted by eandngalloway[/QUOTE]

I know this is a later reply, but this statement struck me. I don't understand from your post why you identify yourself as Christian (unless you don't). Relying on Christ as THE Saviour and using the Bible as a true, literal guide (there are a lot of symbolic aspects AS WELL and there are some obvious sections that are not meant to be taken literally, like parables) are defining tenets of Christianity.

eandngalloway

Ok, so I guess I need to be clearer.  I consider myself Christian because I do believe Christ is the son of God, and I believe he is a savior.  The trouble I have with "it is not through deeds" is because in other parts of the bible, Luke 16, Romans 14, James 4 and John 3, it talks about how deeds are important, and how it isn't right for a person (ie human and therefore falible) to decide whether someone goes to heaven or not. 
I also think that God is bigger than any religion- I can't imagine that I'm wise enough to condense him into one book.  I think God is supposed to have mysteries and we're not supposed to understand everything.  Also, I think the Bible was inspired by God, but not written by him.  How can I choose what is supposed to be literal and what is not.  I think your belief has to be all or nothing where the literality of the bible is concerned.
As for evolution- I look at it like dominos.  Everything was set up, and did take billions of years, but something had to give the world its "spark of life".  I have no explanaition for that besides God. 
Thank you all for your input, and I'm sorry it took me so long to respond.  I do appreciate talking about this with you, and I hope we can continue the discussion. 

ochemjenn

Concerning creation: the Bible says 6 days.  ok.  But I don't believe that those days are 24 hours.  Over the course of those really really long days, I think some species of animals probably died and new ones evolved, BECAUSE OF GOD'S WILL.

I used to think like you did, that if a person was "good" (s)he would go to Heaven.  It was something I'd thought before I asked Jesus to be my personal savior.  Afterwards, I had an email conversation with the friend who really led me to the water.  She explained to me (better than I could ever explain to anyone) that Jesus Christ is the only way to Heaven.  The verse from John sessions quoted is what really convinces me. 

Of course just because was ackowledge Jesus as our savior doesn't mean we can slack off in the good deeds department. 

untherapy

In many ways you're right about what those passages are saying - "deeds are important". However, I don't think it works to leap from those passages to saying "all you have to do to get to heaven is be good and follow the rules". Specifically, a careful reading of James will show that he's talking about a two step process:
1. Belief in Christ
2. Good deeds because Christ has transformed our lives

Neither alone is really ok. Good deeds not done because of the transforming love of Christ? Meaningless. Faith that sits around being mean and careless? Probably not saving faith - BUT that's something no one can know but God.

I disagree that Bible reading has to be "all or nothing" for literality. There is poetry, storytelling, prophesy, etc, that are not historical events. But deciding what is literal or symbolic is different than deciding what's "inspired" by God and what was some guy making up stories and passing them off as true for a few millennia.

If someone doesn't believe the Bible to be 100% inspired by God (whether it's literal or not), then it's difficult for me to see how they could believe in Jesus, believe that God cares for them, etc, etc. The whole construct of the Christian belief system falls apart if the Bible isn't true.

As for creation/evolution, for me the big question is not "what specific process happened in exactly how much time". The big question is "was God in complete control of every step of that process". If you can answer "yes" to that second question then it doesn't matter all that much if our processes don't match.

I think it's important that you and your FI spend time digging into these issues regardless of kids. Decide which of all these are "salvation" issues and which are not - I think it's ok to disagree on non-salvation issues. I think the one to really try and come to agreement on is the question of Biblical truth and belief in Jesus being the only road to salvation and heaven.