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Christian Weddings

Invitation Advice...

Ok Ladies, I have an issue with inviting ppl from my office. there are a few ppl here who I dont care to much for, they are just so mean to me. Well many months ago we were actually getting along, so I decided to give them a save the date. Well now its ugly, there is all kinds of drama, and to be honest, I really dont want to invite them. Its my day, and I want to be surrounded by ppl who make me happy and who  I love, and who love me back. So my question is, do I suck it up and invite them and hope they dont come, or do I  not invite them, and tell them that my guest list was capped, and I had to downsize. PLease help!!!
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Re: Invitation Advice...

  • edited December 2011
    Hi, so I have a similar issue, except I haven't sent out my save-the-dates. Unfortunately since you already sent them out, you really have to send them an invitation. Unless they all made your FI cheat on you (that would be an only acceptable excuse). I know it stinks, but invitations got to go out unless they've done something so unbearably awful.

    That being said, if it's THAT bad, I doubt they'll say yes!
  • edited December 2011
    While I think proper ettiquette says to invite them because you sent them a save-the-date, I would not invite them if you know you don't want them there. Weddings are too important and cost too much for you to waste time and money on ppl you don't want to be there. And while maybe they won't come given the relationship why leave the decision up to them? I say don't invite if you don't want them there and I wouldn't bring it up unless I was asked.
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  • GJones27GJones27 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Hmm... tough call.  If you do invite them, they probably won't show up if you are on such bad terms.  Maybe sending them an invite will help defuse the situation, as you're taking the moral high ground and they'll see you in a better light.  But it really depends on who wronged whom.
  • edited December 2011
    Sad to hear this, jenniandstephen. I woulod have to agree w/ PP though. I hope you are surrounded by those you love and who love you on your day. 
  • iamjoesgurliamjoesgurl member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Since you sent the Save the Date, you have already invited them.  The invitation is just a formality (IMO).  In essence, Save the Dates usually say something to the effect of "please save 10/10/2010 to join us for our wedding".  I'm sorry that things have taken a bad turn and I don't think that you should feel you need to invite people who you don't want to have at your wedding, but unfortunately they all think they are invited now.  If you don't really get along with them, it is probably unlikely that they will attend.  If it were me, I'd send the invitation for the reasons I mentioned. 

    (One side note - if you don't end up sending them the formal invitation, will it make things more difficult for you at work.  Something to think about.)
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  • edited December 2011

    I think to get around that why not just send one invitation to your office and who comes come.... that is what i am doing.


    However, i would not have invited them and for the main reason that the relationship has since changed... it also depends on how bad the situation surrounding your disagreement was

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  • erolliserollis member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Invite the people who you sent save the dates to. It is the best thing to do even if you don't want them at the wedding now. Like others have said, if the situation is that bad they will decline.
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  • heyimbrenheyimbren member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_invitation-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:34ab11bc-1cc2-498a-9fd1-6237f9cb75b0Post:8a7f965a-3090-4980-b1e7-1dfe57921e30">Re: Invitation Advice...</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>Since you sent the Save the Date, you have already invited them.</strong>  The invitation is just a formality (IMO).  In essence, Save the Dates usually say something to the effect of "please save 10/10/2010 to join us for our wedding".  I'm sorry that things have taken a bad turn and I don't think that you should feel you need to invite people who you don't want to have at your wedding, but unfortunately they all think they are invited now.  If you don't really get along with them,<strong> it is probably unlikely that they will attend</strong>.  If it were me, I'd send the invitation for the reasons I mentioned.  (One side note - <strong>if you don't end up sending them the formal invitation, will it make things more difficult for you at work</strong>.  Something to think about.)
    Posted by iamjoesgurl[/QUOTE]

    This.

    You have technically already invited them, and it's rude to now uninvite them. But if I had been invited to an event then had a falling out with that person, I really wouldn't want to attend anyways.

    Plus it just seems like potentially creating more hard feelings.

    I hope you're able to work things out with them in the future.

  • mattycammattycam member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_invitation-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:34ab11bc-1cc2-498a-9fd1-6237f9cb75b0Post:4a81c221-09ba-48f3-ad20-98ea3ab67edc">Re: Invitation Advice...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hmm... tough call.  If you do invite them, they probably won't show up if you are on such bad terms.  Maybe sending them an invite will help defuse the situation, as you're taking the moral high ground and they'll see you in a better light.  Posted by GJones27[/QUOTE]

    I agree this really is a tough call because nobody wants to invite someone that they don't want at their wedding but I agree to invite them and depending on how they feel towards you, they will decline or pass the deadline RSVP date :) You really don't want to do anything that will create more angst in the workplace.

    HOWEVER, I will say that if the situation gets to the point where you are being disrespected and ridiculed then I think you should make the decision for them.
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