shower for a friend on saturday HELP!

amongthelilies25

So... my friend is having her second marriage on September 10, 11. She kinda rushed into her last marriage (well... she is rushing into this marriage as well.. but oh well) and didn't really have a wedding (she got married in Reno). So now she wants to do it right. 

Her MOH is in Las Vegas and cannot throw a shower... so i offered to throw her one. Her wedding is 3 weeks after mine. I was thinking we could do it on September 3... 2 weeks after my wedding and 1 week before hers. She said "well.. i don't want you to throw a shower after your wedding... you'll be stressed."

So we agreed on August 6 - 2 weeks before my wedding. i am STRESSED!!!! i really dont have any extra money to throw a shower right now. AND NO ONE has rsvpd besides her sisters and mom.. and one friend who lives in town with her. 

I worked 40 hrs this week and i am still planning my own wedding and paying everything off! I am totally UNPREPARED for this shower! i have NOTHING bought! no prizes. no decorations. i dont even have anything printed off for the games. i have sooo many super cute ideas for this shower to make is sooo memorable... but i do not have the time or money right at this moment. 

No one has rsvpd outside her family... so i asked if we could postpone it and just call everyone and tell them. She said that she thinks that is unfair since people have changed their schedules around. She says that a friend who lives out of town told her college softball team that she couldn't play in their tournament because she was going to a bridal shower! REALLY?? okay. She didn't even tell me that this friend was coming for sure... and said "well she has something this weekend... but she will try."

I feel like if we postponed it until September 3, then i will have more time, money, and energy to put on a GREAT shower. If its this weekend i feel like it will be cheap and rushed. 

OH!!! and i am missing my FI's birthday on Saturday to do all this.

help! am i being terrible? is it bad to postpone it soo close to the date if no one has rsvpd?

SuMmErKuTiE

No you're definitely not being terrible! I think you'd be WAY more stressed in the weeks leading up to your wedding instead of the weeks after your wedding! Plus you'll be better off financially. I honestly think you should try to put it off until September.... BUT if you can't because the bride is adament about it you can still pull together a nice shower for her on a tight budget. 

My biggest advice.. skip the games. Most people don't like them and feel awkward and then you won't need prizes or props or supplies for them. My favorite showers I've been to were ones without games. I'm sure you've seen it a lot on these boards, but what people like the most at parties and weddings are good food, drinks, and music. Throw the shower at your place or at FI's parents house since you seem to be very close with them which will save you money from not needing to rent out a venue or pay for everyone's meals at a restaurant. Throw together some nice apps and make a big bowl of punch or have some pitchers of mimosas or sangrias. If you're going to keep the event nonalcoholic, you have non-alcoholic bellinis or serve oj with a splash of grenadine in champagne flutes.. still looks beautiful and classy! Or you could have a tea party... my shower was a mad hatter tea party and there were tea pots out at all the table with various teas to try and everyone had a tea cup and saucer at their place setting which my BM's picked up at Goodwill for really cheap. They also had flowers in tea pots as the centerpieces. Or you could skip the flowers and just use the teapots as centerpieces.

Quick and easy apps to make.. spinach dip, cocktail wienies (so silly to say but so delish), baked brie with apples, fruit platter, cheese and crackers, proiscuitto wrapped melon slices, tomatoes and mozzarella, and then you could bake your own cake or cupcakes. Throw on some background music and voila a nice lowkey bridal shower. Let me know if you need any recipes and I can pm them to you. 

AshNoel8

I agree with the PP. I do think it's too late to cancel, since it is this week. I think you can do something great, though! You could buy some colorful notecards and have people write advice to the bride and read an advice card at different points while she's opening gifts. Then that person can get a prize if you have time/$ to get some (think dollar store!). If not, skip the prizes. Since it will be a small gathering, you could have everyone share their favorite memory with the bride/groom/both and maybe record it on video along with advice for the couple (if you or someone you know has a video camera or high quality video recording phone). Then you can e-mail the videos to her later and that's something they can have forever. I tend to be the kind of person who likes the things money can't buy, so that kind of stuff is awesome to me. Just some thoughts. 

FaithCaitlin

I agree with the girls-- it's too late to cancel but you can make it work even still!!

I'd make a list of the all the things you need to do and do a few each day.

I know we are a National Board but if you need anything, DON'T HESITATE TO ASK! I'm doing absolutely nothing this week and would be more than happy to help come up with game ideas, share recipes, whatever you need.

Try not to stress, you can do it and it will be beautiful!

yodacub

I agree - games are easily skipped.  If you want an easy game, I have a "famous couples" trivia sheet that I made for my sister's shower - it has one of a famous couple and you have to fill in the other, think Beauty and _______.  Some are easy, some are hard.  Let me know if you want a copy!

kellya01

An inexpensive drink for a cute shower would be sparkling pink lemonade - walmart has it for under $1 per 2 liter.  I think it was like 67 cents!  :-)  

I agree with PP's- no games needed.  I love the idea of advice for the bride and groom, and the famous couples thing is cute, but I think you'd need prizes for that.  

For my bridal shower, the ladies gave everyone a ring pop to wear - kind of a fun thing to do to celebrate a bride.  Easy paper plates and napkins in coordinating colors from walmart or hobby lobby, and the food was all easy to make ahead -- little chicken salad sandwiches, chocolate covered strawberries, veggie tray (easy from local grocery store), fruit tray, cheese tray (also pre-done from local grocery store).  

I agree that it would be best to go ahead and hold the shower -- you might be surprised by who can actually come, even though not many have RSVP'd!! :-) 

Good luck, and come back if you need more ideas!!! 

amongthelilies25

thanks ladies. i appreciate all the help and advice. 

my friend lives 2 hours away so i would have to travel there... and with the lack of money... there is NO WAY i can do it. Fi and i just paid off the DJ and the cake yesterday... which leaves me with literally $3.00 in my account  until Tuesday. 

I feel sooooo terrible and told my friend that i would be happy to contact the guests and tell them the situation and change it. The guests i have already spoken with have said that they were "trying to get out of their plans for this weekend" and still don't know if they can come. I mentioned that i was thinking of moving the shower and they were all in and said they TOTALLY understandf since i am 2 weeks away from my wedding. 

I talked to my friend again last night... and explained myself, again, and she just said that she would throw it herself. THAT IS NOT WHAT I WANT AT ALL! i feel at a loss. idk what to do... but there isnt much i can do. 

i wish that she would just let me reschedule it. i KNOW that we will have a better turn out too... and i will not be stressed and have more money to throw a really great shower. 

i am just feeling stressed out. i mean... i have spent soo much money. This friend's daughter is my flower girl.... and they didn't have money to buy the dress... so i bought it. 

idk... i guess i am a terrible friend for needing to postpone but there is not much left i can do.

GJones27

As others said, I would just eliminate all of the extra things for the shower that aren't crucial to it happening.  My shower was just lunch and opening presents.  That was it.  If you're cooking, do very simple food items, like pasta.  Salads are easy, too.  That will help keep costs down, too.  Good luck!

amongthelilies25

i told my friend i could not do it. since she lives out of town... i cannot even get to her house. 

no one has rsvp now.... and the friend that said she could go... now has to work. i REALLY want to reschedule... but my friend thinks that people will just show up. idk. i feel bad..