"B" list

GunzNRoses213

So I just started to realize that most of my cousins are in school in the south [we live in PA] and probably wont be coming up in the middle of a semester for a wedding and that takes my numbers down a bit ...

So if there are a few people who I'd cosider inviting is it too late to send out a save the date to them even if I already sent most of them out a month ago ? Not even invitations yet...

We have a really big room at the reception and I know it's going to look empty...Although I dont wanna jack the number and therefore jack the bill up ... [ that's on Dad and Grandma mostly ] ..

It's 131 days till my wedding and yes I still have "fringes" on my guest list...And now I found out my friend Greg is dating someone pretty seriously ... So that's a plus 1... Wasnt gonna do plus ones unless they are married or serious ... Is that rude to single people ? Or is it more of a hassel for a singe person to find a date ?? I 've been there with finding a date before ...

I'd rather invite a few "strays " on my list then make single people find a plus 1 ?

Anyone else have problems like this ?

sessionswedding

Don't worry about sending any more save the dates.  I skipped them entirely.  Invite everyone you want to invite, and I would say do allow plus ones.

GunzNRoses213

My issue with plus 1's is it's alot of plus ones ...And we kinda cut out plus one AND great aunts and uncles because it was over the top with both ... So we cut both on purpose and we are having family only children because that again would set it over the top ...

When do invites go out if my wedding is in Oct ?

DramaGeek

For truly single people, you do not have to send a plus one.  Anyone in a relationship gets invited with their, whether they've been together a day or a week or a year, whether you know the SO or not.

While you don't have to give a +1 to people who are not in a relationship, it's nice to do so.  I would definitely consider it if you have single friends who won't know many or any other people at the wedding.

I would also skip the STDs.  Invitations go out 6-8 weeks before your wedding.

RebeccaJac

Plus ones are a must for people who are married, engaged or in a serious relationship. I wouldn't go to a wedding that FI wasn't invited to. It'd be so weird! 

How connected is you "B list" to your invitees? Would they know they were the B list? That's my fear with B list. I would much rather just not be invited than squeezed in. 

Ours went out two months before the wedding. I think that's normal. You can try posting this on the ettiquite board and see what they think? 

GunzNRoses213

Relationships/marrieds are getting plus ones... .its the singles i'm leary about ...

ochemjenn

Local singles got a +1.  OOT guests only got a +1 if we knew they were in a relationship.  The way I saw it, it wouldn't be a big deal to bring a new BF/GF to a local wedding, but someone who has been on one date with someone wouldn't want to spend the money on a plane ticket to go to the wedding of a couple they don't know.  I don't know if anyone who wasn't in a relationship actually brought a +1 - if so, it was a friend of our parents so I didn't realize it. 

naomikb

I wouldn't invite people you don't want there just to fill seats and have the room look less empty.  Only invite the people you want to be there.

In terms of +1s I think it's polite to give everyone a +1 whether you know they're in a relationship or not.  Maybe you haven't met their partner or they haven't told you about it.  And why is it YOU that gets to decide the degree of "seriousness" of their relationship?  Some people are serious/committed after one date, I think it is hard to quantify in terms of months/years how serious a relationship is.  And if they're single it's nice to not have to come to a wedding alone if you don't want - bring someone to be a DD or have someone to dance/talk with.  If they don't want to bring someone they can RSVP alone.  But I think everyone should get the option of bringing a +1.

Don't worry about "making the single people find a +1".  They are welcome to still RSVP as an individual.

ElisabethJoanne

I agree with the consensus re: +1s

My take on B lists is that they're only a problem if the B-listers consider them a problem. Depending on your friends, some may not think receiving a wedding invitation later than the rest is any issue or offense. You may know this because of their personalities or maybe you ask them during wedding planning. Anyone I know well enough to know their attitude to B-lists is invited, but I have a few more people whom I don't know quite as well, but whom I do know well enough to ask, "We're still working on the guest list, and it's really tight. How would you feel about being on a B-list?" But it really depends on the people involved.

Don't worry about sending out more save-the-dates. Just work on crafting a possibly extended invitation/guest list.

GunzNRoses213

Ok  so the B list is people who were my maybes and now I will probably just invite them anyway ...

As for plus ones ... I know everyone else's status and how long they've been together ... The one I just found out about was because he is one of the few people I have lost track of. No one that I know that's single will have a gf/boyfriend I dont know about ... Most of my single friends already did tell me if it's not a plus one they are not offended and they would rather be stag... I'm not deciding or rating anyone's status, they are well known facts about the people I'm inviting. I'm inviting husbands etc and some of them already told me they arent even bringing them because they've never met me .. [ Co-workers]

I answered my own question ... Some will be plus ones and some will not ...

GunzNRoses213

The filling seats would be people I wanted there it's just that i kept my number down originally because of cost ...With my cousins not coming , that is less people... leaving room for people who are local and can attend .