Spiritualy Married?

SpokenVows

So, my mum and [almost] step-dad were supposed to have a joint wedding with FI and I. However, she may lose her Medicaid if they do legally get married. Hopefully, that won't be the case, but it may turn out that way. In the case that it does, I suggested they could still have a sort of spiritual marriage. I guess it would sort of be the same concept as vow renewal? Does anyone have any ideas, suggestions, advice on how to go about doing a spiritual ceremony without legally marrying? Perhaps a verse/passage from the Bible? =/

kellya01

Wow, that stinks about possibly losing medicaid benefits just to get legally married.  :-( 

You could have an officiant marry them, but just not fill out or send in a marriage license... that's the only thing I can think of.  I don't know if skirting the law on it would be necessarily the right thing to do, but maybe they could have the "church wedding" but just not make it legal as far as being legally married for tax and insurance purposes.  

Maybe the passage from Matthew 19:6 and surrounding versus as some scripture to use.  Sorry I can't be of more help!  Good luck!! :-) 

DramaGeek

I think in that case it'd be a commitment ceremony.  Anyone could officiate since it doesn't have to be legally binding.  I would do it like a wedding, but omit any language about marriage and replace it with commitment and focus on the fact that they are making the choice to be only with one another.

ravenray

We have a couple in our church that also couldn't get married legal because of Medical benefits.  They got married in the church but never filled out the legal documents. Everyone views them as being married, as they are just not legally.  I feel like you should have a ceremony because you are getting married in the eyes of God that is way more important. Since it really only matters to God anyways, I think it would be fine for you guys to still have a joint wedding.

FaithCaitlin

I would for sure go through the whole marriage process but not submit legal paperwork. 

Heck, I feel that FI and I are already married spiritually. 

joyfulbride424

I think you could married in the church by a pastor and not be married legally - at least I personally believe that this would be ok.

SpokenVows

Committment ceremony, there we go! I knew there was a better term for it, but I kept drawing a blank.

Ravenray - I think my mum and step-dad feel the same way. They may not be legally married, but they still want to be married in the eyes of God. My mother is very religious, and I think it matters more to her that He sees it as marriage more than the law seeing it that way.

Thanks again, ladies. You're always so helpful

aegrish

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_spiritualy-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:52bdad2e-468a-4c36-8610-55207b14db4fPost:001adaea-a554-4dd3-977a-9d502bf6d262">Re: Spiritualy Married?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think in that case it'd be a commitment ceremony.  Anyone could officiate since it doesn't have to be legally binding.  I would do it like a wedding, but omit any language about marriage and replace it with commitment and focus on the fact that they are making the choice to be only with one another.
Posted by DramaGeek[/QUOTE]

Yes a commitment or symbolic ceremony.  The words 'marriage' shouldn't be used since it's not legally binding, even if the couple views themselves as married after the ceremony. I think it's admirable that they still want to have some type of ceremony to join them together.

StacyJenniges

That is really unfortunate.  For me and My fiance it is more important that our marriage is viewed in the eyes of God than by the governement.  If your mom and almost step dad feel the same way I would suggest doing a spirital marriage.  Take out the wording "by the State of ______, I know pronouce you man and wife.  They can still say "By the power Invested in my by God" I now pronounce you Man and wife.

diehld

Def just not fill out the paper work!!!

azdancer8

My grandmother-in-law actually had the opposite problem. When her husband got sick and needed to move into a nursing home, they had to get divorced so that he could qualify financially for government assistance without draining her savings. (They both had been married previously and had their own accounts.) It was a mess, and so sad, since they obviously still loved each other and were still by all accounts married.

StacyJenniges

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_spiritualy-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:52bdad2e-468a-4c36-8610-55207b14db4fPost:ade75f26-01b3-4e86-acb5-4c8241789461">Re: Spiritualy Married?</a>:
[QUOTE]My grandmother-in-law actually had the opposite problem. When her husband got sick and needed to move into a nursing home, they had to get divorced so that he could qualify financially for government assistance without draining her savings. (They both had been married previously and had their own accounts.) It was a mess, and so sad, since they obviously still loved each other and were still by all accounts married.
Posted by azdancer8[/QUOTE]

That is really sad, I have known other couples who have had to do the same thing to protect their assets, especially if the healthy spouse has a good amount of years ahead fo them.  It is unfortunant when things like this happen that the government cann't figure out how much the surviving spouse needs to live the same quality of life without having to work till they are 100.  Really gives someone in this situation no choice. 

kellya01

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_spiritualy-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:52bdad2e-468a-4c36-8610-55207b14db4fPost:ade75f26-01b3-4e86-acb5-4c8241789461">Re: Spiritualy Married?</a>:
[QUOTE]My grandmother-in-law actually had the opposite problem. When her husband got sick and needed to move into a nursing home, they had to get divorced so that he could qualify financially for government assistance without draining her savings. (They both had been married previously and had their own accounts.) It was a mess, and so sad, since they obviously still loved each other and were still by all accounts married.
Posted by azdancer8[/QUOTE]

<div>SAD.  That's so shameful that the system treats our older relatives so poorly.  We had to put my grandparents' home in my parents' name when they got sick YEARS ago so that if any of them had to go into Hospice (and grandma did) that they wouldn't take the house or the property.  It's a mess.  :-( </div>