Is this wrong?

agape1cor813

I'm 5 days away out from my wedding ... and I'm still not sure what I'm going to do with my last name. 

I know I am going to be taking his name, no question, but I'm also kind of attached to my current middle name and my maiden name, mainly because my first-middle-last name sounds so nice together, and I also want to keep my maiden name in some way because my parents have no sons and there is only one male on my dad's side of the family to keep it going. I like my maiden name, it's a good, strong name.

So pretty much my options are:

Alison Marie (Maiden Name) (Married Name) [I worry that having two middle names is pretentious]

Alison Marie (Married Name)

Alison (Maiden Name) (Married Name) [I think I would be sad to lose my middle name]

Can any of the married ladies offer me some input on how they decided and maybe point me in the right direction?

I feel so bad about this because I feel like this is disrespectful to my fiance because I'm struggling with this.

LittleBigO

It's not disrespectful.    I took DH's last name, but I couldn't see having 8 letter maiden plus 12 letter married.  :P  My mom's friend kept her maiden and added married like this:

Jane Marie Smith-Johnson

Could you add the dash like that?  Then you would have both. 

DramaGeek

I don't think having two middle names is pretentious at all.  I once worked with a girl who had 27 names!  Compared to that, two is nothin!

If you have all 4 names, what will you go by?  Most people won't use your middle name(s), so will you be Alison Married or Alison Maiden Married socially?  Either way is fine, just make a decision and stick with it.  Trying to change confuses everyone - see my post in this week's sticky about name changing for more info.

joyfulbride424

I think having two middle names is the way to go! And p.s. you do NOT have to figure this out by the time your wedding gets here. I'm married and I still haven't figure it out, lol For the record - I actually think I'm shoving my maiden name into my middle name so it'll be:

Joy Ann Maiden Married.

I love my name and it carries a lot of significance in my family for various reasons.

sessionswedding

I have little attachment to my maiden name.  I have 2 younger brothers and 3 male cousins (I'm the only female grandchild on my dad's side!) to carry on our family name.  So I'm thinking of becoming FirstName MiddleName HisLastName.

midgetthemighty

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_this-wrong?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:5988a024-9d70-4816-9cb2-6094e080d22bPost:b5002221-2df6-489c-b003-6a37ed4da4b9">Re: Is this wrong?</a>:
[QUOTE]I have little attachment to my maiden name.  I have 2 younger brothers and 3 male cousins (I'm the only female grandchild on my dad's side!) to carry on our family name.  So I'm thinking of becoming FirstName MiddleName HisLastName.
Posted by sessionswedding[/QUOTE]

I could have written almost this exact thing. Only difference is I only have 1 younger brother and 2 male cousins on my dads side. I'm the only granddaughter on that side too! I do kinda worry because my Mom is FirstName MiddleNameMaidenName LastName and I wonder if my parents would have a problem with me becoming FirstName MiddleName HisLastName.

Having two middle names is not pretentious. It seems like it would be the best option for you and your FH should have no problem with that!

amongthelilies25

i say got with FirstName Middlename Maiden Married. 

i think it'll be fine. (: (: 

mattycam

Do you use your middle name? I ask because unless it is a name you go by or is listed on your documents, will there be much of a difference if you go by your married name? In any event, if you are attached to you maiden name, I would hyphenate. It is also becoming common to have the assumed married name meaning that socially you are Alison "Married Name" but legally you are still Alison "Maiden Name"

porky

I have had the same thoughts.  My FI was married before and was hurt that his former wife did not take his name.  I have been playing around with names and am seriously contemplating hyphenating my first and middle names to become my first name, then taking my maiden name as my middle name and putting his at the end.

If I do this my name will be Carrie-Ann Lathrop Russo. 

Would you consider hyphenating your first and middle names?

yodacub

I'm going to have a similiar problem - I'm working on my PhD and have publications in my maiden name.  I'm thinking of making my maiden name one of my middle names, and going by that professionally, and using his last name personally, that way when we have kids it won't be confusing, plus I know it means a lot to him for us to have the same last name.  Personally I don't like hypens, even though technically that would be easiest.

LittleBigO

Reading all the posts (I don't know if it was said) BUT - Could you have it without a hyphen?  I mean like this:

FirstMiddle Maiden Married

No hyphen with the first and middle, and make that your first?  So for you, AlisonMarie Maiden Married.  Just another thought!!

kalizoomba

I say hypenate your first name and middle name. My grandma goes by Judy-Mae, I have an aunt who changed her name from Jo Ann Maiden to JoAnn Maiden Lastname.