uncomfortable position

ochemjenn

Four weeks and one day ago I made a suicide attempt.  I've gone to therapy every week, and my doctor has since switched me to a better medicine.  However, my work has suffered.  I got an email from my boss today commenting on the lack of productivity and how others are relying on me.  It's absolutely true.  He asked if there was something wrong and if there was anything he coud do to help. 

I replied to his email (I don't work on-site) and told him I'd gotten sick about a month ago.  I said I'd been sleeping a lot, and was on medication that made me out of it.  I told him I'd gone to the doctor on Tuesday and I've been better off that particular medicine.  I apologized for keeping him out of the loop and said I'd work on catching up.  Afterwards I left a voicemail apologizing again.

All of what I told him was true, except sick really means suicide attempt. Now I feel guilty for not telling the whole truth.

I feel bad that my mental state has affected by work.  I'm using my new "tools" from therapy to work through this, but I still feel bad for not performing well at work.

I'm sorry, I guess there wan't much of a point to this post, but I had to get that out.

diehld

I think "sick" is all relative you didn't lie... being sick doesn't always mean you are physically ill... 

AllyG303

Some things are better left unsaid to an employer, and PP is right, saying that you were sick wasn't a lie.   FI has bad anxiety and depression and actually lost his job because he got physically sick from the a&d and couldn't perform his duties.  He would've lost his job a lot sooner though, had his employer known that he was suffering from anxiety and depression, because his boss looked down on all psychological disorders (he worked in an ER).  I've been going to support groups for friends/family of people with a&d and have learned that they are a form of disease and it's not something that people with that can easily push to the back of their brain. 

I wouldn't feel guilty about not telling your boss the whole story, because it's not his business.  The best thing that you can do for you and your boss is continue going to therapy and getting put on the right medications for YOU so that it doesn't hurt your personal or professional life.

ochemjenn

Thanks, ladies.  I know you're both right.  I'm so thankful having you all here!

Ally, I'm so sorry your FI lost his job because of his anxiety and drepression.  I hope he's getting help, and I'm glad you're going to support groups. 

FaithCaitlin

There is no need for the boss to know. 

I am so sorry to hear this. I'm glad you're getting help. Things will get better and we are here for you.

As someone who has suffered from depression, always feel free to PM me or Facebook me if you just need to vent. I'll always be up for listening. I know it helps to just have someone to talk to sometimes.

I'm praying for you. Don't feel guilty about work. You'll get back in the swing of things soon and the boss does not need to the nature of your sickness.

mrandmrsbrist

I've been there, girl. I've been conveniently "laid off" from jobs after anxiety attacks. I mean, I'm sure there were money problems and they were laying me off for a real reason, but I know I was chosen instead of other people for a reason.

I don't think you lied. There are some things that are okay to withhold. I'm glad you're doing somewhat better now. It sounds like the medicine is helping.

DramaGeek

As soon as you said you got the email from your boss asking what was up, I thought "just tell him you've been ill."  It's totally the truth.  It might not be all the nitty gritty details, but you wouldn't give him all the details if it were a stomach bug either, right?  You wouldn't have emailed him to say, "I'm sorry, I got sick about a month ago.  Well, sick isn't quite the truth...it's more like I felt ok but I had to vomit every 15 minutes and I was getting severely dehydrated."  Nope, you'd just say you're sick and leave it at that.

I'm so glad to hear that you've been seeing your therapist and working to find a treatment combination that works for you.

AshNoel8

I'm so sorry girl. Don't feel bad, it's not completely a lie. Don't worry about work- what's important is your health and well-being. I am so happy you are doing better and I will keep you in my prayers. Let us know if you EVER need anything- we are always here for you! 

iamjoesgurl

It's great that your boss seems to be supportive and willing to work with you.  I agree with everyone that you don't need to tell your boss more than you already have.  I was a manager for 8 years and never asked people about specifics on your health.  It is better not to know and I think you did the right thing.  You were honest and apologetic instead of making up excuses and not caring.  That's really all they can ask of you.

I hope that things continue to go better for you and will be praying!

ElisabethJoanne

Mental illness is illness. You HAVE NOT lied. Your employer is not allowed to inquire into your health issues, except as they relate to your work. So, if you need your work load reduced or your hours rearranged for treatment, you have to tell them that, but they don't need to know the details of your condition or treatment.

You should consider a plan going forward. Hopefully, you won't get so sick again. But if your treatment is going to continue to interfere with your work (For example, you're not available at hours you used to be available, because you're at therapy), you should tell your employer, "I'm in continuing treatment for an illness that became acute on X date a month ago. I am able to resume my full duties, but my treatment requires Y, Z [doctor's appointments every Monday, not starting work 'til 10am, weekends away from the phone, whatever]."

Your employer is also allowed to request verification from a healthcare professional that you are being treated and require such adjustments.

musicalsunlight

I agree with PPs, there is nothing else your boss has to know about the situation. I am happy to hear that you are in therapy and getting help to feel better. A friend of mine passed from suicide and it was a completely tragic and horrible experience. I pray that you only continue to get better and pray that things keep looking up for you.