Christian Weddings

Pray for me :'-(

I am at the point of breaking down.  On the way into work this morning, the mental and emotional stress of this new job attacked my body and I keeled over in pain.  I have had a migraine all weekend and I think it's a physical manifestation of my issues surrounding my new job.

For those who don't know, I was part-time teaching (chorus) at a middle school in another district, they promised to take me to full-time status for the spring semester, and I was going into a bit of a hole as I was counting on the additional $.  Well, they renegged on their promise, I found another full-time teaching job (general music AND chorus), in the same town as FI's job, and jumped on it.  I felt like God was opening the door for me (as did my parents, FI, and my pastor at church) and FI to finally work in the same town, and to start our life together after the wedding this summer.  Plus, I'd stop going in the hole (my parents were helping me out while I was on 60% pay without health insurance, boo!). 

I've been at this job for a total of 3 weeks now, this is week 4, and we thankfully get a paycheck this week --- but I'm struggling to make it through the day without being physically sick.  The students have had absolutely no structure all year, they're used  to "busy work" (worksheets, packets, etc) and don't know how to function with an actual teacher.  I'm ready to start doing "busy work" because I just don't think I can handle the stress of trying to teach them when I have no administrative support, my department tells me every day how much of a mess that class was in before me, they struggle with the same behavior problems, and there is NO school-wide effort to stop the behavior problems!  As a "new" person, I can see some of the things that the "old" ones (people here for more than 5 years) are blinded to seeing, and it hurts that the solutions are there, but they aren't willing to explore them. 

I have 20 out of my 160+ students that actually want to be here and don't disrupt class.  I can't punish them for the rest of the class's behavior, but i can't function when I have nowhere to send the students with behavior problems beyond ISS, especially when ISS is a joke.  You know how when we were in school, your parents would have made your backside sting if you had gone to ISS?  Well, these parents don't care.  Oh, and the school has sent a very clear message that even if the kids don't pass their electives, it doesn't matter. 

I had to call security twice on Friday as kids were trying to stow away in the band room next door (teacher was absent for medical appointments).  We don't have substitutes - we do "coverage" which is basically the kids are split up between the other elective teachers.  Substitutes have to be approved by the superintendent, which is really just for long-term leave or long-term (week plus) medical issues. 

I'm ready to quit.  I have bills to pay, otherwise I would.  I need the health insurnace, otherwise I would.  I am so discouraged right now. 

And come to find out ... FI is probably going to get a promotion this summer with his company that will enable us to live in another area (about 1 hour south of the current town) and in a much better school district (although that district has its fair share of problems too).  At least the testing proficiency in most schools in other counties have SOME of the kids passing... the district where I am now, virtually NO ONE passes the state mandated tests.  And they wonder why they're on the watch-list for schools that may be shut down. 

I went on too long.  However, I feel a bit better by getting it out.  I have to make it through each day, 2 periods at a time (I get 2 classes then planning, 3 times a day).  I don't know if I can make it today.  The next class comes in at 8:35...
July 16, Our Wedding Day, is also International Juggling Day!
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Re: Pray for me :'-(

  • edited December 2011
    Oh, and I'll find a cookie for you if you got through all of that.

    Cliff Notes version: My new job really stinks, I'm very discouraged, ready to quit, and the mental and emotional stress of the job is rendering itself in me physically, making me sick.  Oh, and FI will probably get a promotion this summer enabling us to move to a different district anyway, so all of this moving to the new school may be for naught.
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  • DramaGeekDramaGeek member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    You just described my year last year.  I took more "sick days" that were really mental health days because I just couldn't deal.  I'd start doing the busy work and maybe try to teach them 1 or 2 days a week, then work into more, if possible.

    Is this middle school?  Do you do participation points?  I do daily participation points with my students.  Right now it's 10 points a day; we're changing it to 5 next year for various reasons.  If they are there on time and participate in a meaningful way, they get their points.  At the beginning of activities I tell them what they need to do to get their participation points.  If a student doesn't want to participate, I tell them they are welcome to sit in their seat, silently, and take a zero.  They are now trained that they have a choice - participate and earn a higher grade, or not participate and earn a zero.  It's been much easier for me.  I teach the kids who want to learn and the kids who don't aren't causing problems for me and I'm not spending the period fighting them on it.  Would something like that work for you?

    It is awful not to have administrative support.  I am so thankful that our administration is fantastic.  We also have a great system in place school wide through our PBS committee (positive behavior support), but it's taken us a while to get to this point.
  • twixinthemixtwixinthemix member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I am so sorry for you!  Teaching music as well, I definitely feel your pain.  It's incredibly hard in any subject, but especially music, to come in the middle of the year, because most likely the sub that had been covering did not know how to teach music, and therefore the kids are all over the place.

    Even if the school provides no incentive for the kids to do well (shame on that administration...they sound absolutely wretched!!), find out what could entice them to do well.  I have a friend who teaches middle school who bakes for them occasionaly and that seems to work for her.  What kind of music are they interested in?  How can you relate that to what your teaching?  The biggest (and hardest) thing to do for general music is to make it relavent to them.  So they like rap?  Well, find clean examples of rap that can demonstrate the concepts.  Heck, have them write their own raps!  Have them learn how to critique the music they listen to, and then work your way towards the standard music selections.

    Anytime you need to vent or ask for advice, just holler!! 

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  • edited December 2011
    I get a cookie?  Yay!!  :P

    Back to serious:
    I'm sorry it's so draining and frustrating.  Prayers are coming your way!!  I think a lot of music classes are full of students that don't care.  In my high school class, every year, it was a struggle for the teacher to teach us very much most of the time because most of the kids didn't respect her at all.  It's really frustrating for the students that care too - know you're not alone.  Can you bring treats for the kids that behave?  Maybe bring a cookie to each person that behaved and give it to them at the end of the period?  Something inexpensive, but effective.  Maybe that will help.  I'm not sure what other advice to give other than what twix and drama said.  Hang in there girly!!


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  • edited December 2011
    Aw, thanks ladies!

    I have started doing star stickers for people who achieve "star power" for the day and that has worked a bit.  I talked with my elective team during planning and they suggested that I start sending students up to them for "time out" which is where they go when we don't send them to admin (and let's face it, admin wont' do anything).  So the kids go to "time out" where they have to do work for these other teachers and they generally hate it, so it has worked better for THOSE students. 

    Each day is a new challenge, I suppose.  today it was the migraine, and the physical pain, and making myself look at God and say thank you, despite the mess that the devil creates in our lives otherwise.  I looked at one of my classes today and said "There are so many blessings in my life, and so many things I have to be thankful for.  I'm not going to let a poor attitude from any of you get me down.  If you can't handle having to sit in class and behave, you need to just let me write you up and send you out of here so the rest of the class can learn and pass their quiz on Friday."  It helped shut many of them up, and I have to write up 4 kids, and 2 more for refusing to hand in a cell phone.   

    The principal just instituted a new rule about cell phones - he's going to turn them in to the police department instead of letting them sit up in the front office (parent/guardian still has to pick them up).  And if a kid refuses to turn in a cell phone, it's automatic 5 days suspension or something crazy.  FINALLY a severe consequence that the kids actually understand.  It's MARCH.  Hello!!!!

    Day by Day, little by little... I gotta earn some $$ and keep my health insurance, so I've GOT to make this work.  :-(
    July 16, Our Wedding Day, is also International Juggling Day!
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  • edited December 2011
    Praying for you, Kelly. For new strength every morning. remember that the bible says that the Joy of the Lord is our strength! 
    So i just declare lots of joy over you!!! 
  • mrandmrsbristmrandmrsbrist member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I'm praying for you, Kelly!
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  • edited December 2011
    Well, since I DID get a cookie, I will try to give you a couple of encouraging points:

    1. This IS the middle of the school year.  In a couple of short months it will be over, and you'll get a break.  After that break (during which you will be getting MARRIED) you will come back to a fresh batch of students and you'll have the opportunity to start them off right - instead of coming in and trying to clean up someone else's mess.

    2. Kids who make trouble are often the ones who most need a teacher to straighten them out - for their own good!  If you quit on those kids now, there may never be anyone else who cares if they learn how to learn.

    I will be praying for you, because I know what it's like to quit a job that is so stressful you have physical pains.  Maybe God will move you to a better district - but maybe God is moving you to make this district better.
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  • iamjoesgurliamjoesgurl member
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    edited December 2011
    I'm so sorry to hear this.  I am not a teacher so I have no idea what you are going through but I hope that your faith will see you through.  You can remind yourself of all of those reasons to be thankful for the job and I'm sure that you are making a difference in the lives of at least a few of these kids.  Hang in there!
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  • iamjoesgurliamjoesgurl member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Oh, and also, I'll be praying for you!
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  • DramaGeekDramaGeek member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Kelly, H just reminded me of something I did last year to help me.  A large part of my problem was keeping my attitude positive when things around me were so negative.  I started praying for various students each day and that helped me a lot.  It's hard to stay irritated with someone when you're talking to God about them :-P
  • edited December 2011
    Aw, such helpful ideas!  You ladies are fantastic!  I made it through the second half of the day with a pep-talk with fellow elective teachers during the first planning.  I wrote up probably 8 students today (I see over 150 a day!!!) and I have worked out an arrangement to send them out when they disrupt the learning process.  I saw some good change today in my toughest classes, but I'm so OVER this mess!!!!  :-/ 
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  • edited December 2011
    I will pray for strength for you. Remember, even if you only help ONE student, you have made a difference. And school is over in 2 and a half months! 

    PS- YGPM! 
  • edited December 2011
    Ash - YGPM back!  Thanks again chica!!! :-) 
    July 16, Our Wedding Day, is also International Juggling Day!
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