Non-Christian future ILs

JKeyes2011

My future ILs are not Christians and I am worried about how they might recieve our very Christian wedding. They were previously catholic and that is how my FI was raised. He became a Christian not too long ago and is still learning, but loves it and he loves God. His parents stopped going to church about 10 years ago and his dad has become pretty much athiest. I think his mom just goes along with whatever her husband decides.

Right now I am not even sure if they are coming to the wedding because they live in Belgium and the wedding will be in California. They have expressed small intrest, but they have not given us an answer. In the past they have not been very receptive to how I show my love for Christ. I am very open with being a Christian and my love and trust in Jesus Christ. When it comes to them my FI is a closet Christian. They do not know he attends church on Sundays or what he does on Sundays.

I'm just worried if they come they will just be negative about the whole experience.

Jeffie86

I think it would be helpful for your fiance to talk to his family about his faith and ask for their understanding.  Nothing major, just letting them know that he is a Christian as does participate in a church.  I don't know about his relationship with his family, so I don't know how difficult this will be.  

If they do say they are coming, it might be helpful to talk with them and tell them what they can expect at the wedding, and to ask them to respect your beliefs let them know that any opinions they have aren't going to change your plans.  It sounds like a very hard situation to be in, and I'll pray that you are given the means to handle it.

desi2002

I think that since its a wedding, all guest should expect some kind of religous aspect. Catholics are a type of Christian, so since they have knowledge of that, they might not be too uncomfortable. Even If they are athiest, there is that "wedding respect" that all guests should have regardless. Don't change or not do sothing because of them. And don't worry about it either. Pray about it, Jesus will work it out.

FutureMrsMcDaniel

I believe that since it's your wedding, you need to have the ceremony you want.  Honestly, they can perceive your wedding any way they want.  They need to respect what you and FI want at your wedding.

Good luck!

kkidd28

     I agree with the PP.  Pray about it and don't change what you all are doing in regards to how you spend your Sundays or how you're planning the ceremony etc.  Maybe something they see in you and your FI's actions will spark something in them!  They may have stopped going to church, but at some point, they were believers!  Maybe this may be a way of witnessing.  Our job is Christians is just to make our faith known - the choices they make after that are their own.  Overall, from the posts I've seen from you in the past, I think you and your FI seem to have a good relationship with your FIL's.  I think they will respect your beliefs!

chris8tine

I totally know the feeling!! Both my ILs and my parents are non-Christian (nominal Christians, I call them - the Christmas and Easter sort) and I find myself worrying about how they'll perceive some elements of our ceremony.  I have to keep reminding myself, too, that we shouldn't hide our faith and that marriages in church always have lots of religious elements, so no one should really feel uncomfortable. 

It's a shame your ILs aren't showing more enthusiasm about your wedding, though! That must be tough.. but you still have lots of time.  I would be surprised if they didn't fly to Califonia for their son's wedding.

erollis

I am so glad it was brought up that Catholics are Christian. It goes Jews were first, then Catholics came about, then Lutherans, then Christians.

My FIL's are not religious and his dad is an atheist. My fiance is agnostic. We all have a healthy respect and understanding for each other and each others beliefs.

Civil ceremonies are modeled after religious ceremonies. If they know you are Christian they shouldn't be surprised that it is a religious ceremony. As mentioned by others...Your fiance needs to talk with his parents and tell them what his beliefs are. May not be an easy conversation but it is a good one to have.

KikoLoveAndi

Its hard to not worry about what love ones will think. 

I am struggling some with it too knowing one of my bride's maids is not a christian and my grandparents arent.  I dont want to be offf putting but God has done amazing things for my FH and i and i want to give him the credit.

aricherry

I really dont think that Catholics are Christian.  Then they would call thmselves Christians instead of Catholic.  When you ask a person their faith, they should say Christian if they are Christian because what better name to wear then the name of Christ..(as in Christian)  Anyway, that was a side note...and not to offend anyone.  Sorry to hear about your issue.  Are they from a different country? If so, maybe you can incorporate a tradition from their country into the wedding and keep it Christian.  My husband's family is Muslim, we are Chrisitan.  I plan on having a Christian wedding and then incorporating an African tradition (they are African) .  It is my wedding and when I went to his sister's wedding they didnt ask me how I felt about attending a muslim wedding (which they should not) so I will not care about them attending a Christian wedding.   Its your day. Do what you want.

mrsblakemore

That's true aricherry. I never thought of it that way. I always thought that if you believe in God and the principles of the Bible that you are Christian, but who knows??

Jasmine&Rajah

Ladies, if one of you visits the Catholic board to ask, you will be assured that Catholics are most certainly Christians.  :-)

And I do identify myself as a Christian Catholic, out of habit, as do most Catholics I know - although if I hear someone call themselves a Catholic, it is understood that they are a Christian.  (If a woman says, "I am a female," she does not need to point out that she is a "female human being," does she?)

Praise God, from Whom all blessings flow!  :-D