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XP: Sad news two weeks before the wedding :(

FI's grandma passed away this afternoon.  She was in her late 80's and had Alzheimer's.  The nursing home called FFIL a couple weeks ago and told him that she wasn't doing well at all.  She had started lashing out at the staff because she didn't know who they were or where she was, and she thought they were trying to hurt her.  Three days ago she was moved to a hospital.  Today she passed away.

Funeral arrangements have not yet been discussed, but FI said in his family the funeral is usually about a week after the passing (not uncommon in the South, but mostly seen in African American families), which puts it within a week or so of our wedding.  I hate to think of it in such terms, but it will definitely put a damper on the joy of many in FI's family for sure.  Prayers would be appreciated.
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Re: XP: Sad news two weeks before the wedding :(

  • azdancer8azdancer8 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm sorry for your loss. You will certainly be in my prayers.

    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_xp-sad-news-two-weeks-before-wedding-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:8692f475-f964-4ca5-97e1-6f745fe95be4Post:db0021a6-30c3-4302-8e31-0286e6b47e67">XP: Sad news two weeks before the wedding :(</a>:
    [QUOTE]I hate to think of it in such terms, <strong>but it will definitely put a damper on the joy of many in FI's family for sure</strong>.  Prayers would be appreciated.
    Posted by sessionswedding[/QUOTE]

    Yes, and no. The same thing happened to us. My grandfather passed away in December, and the memorial service was the weekend before our wedding. Yes, people grieved for him, but they also rejoiced with us. And we were able to honor his memory in our programs.
  • MelissaC315MelissaC315 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    So sorry to hear that. Sending T + P your way.
  • edited December 2011
    Thank you all for your T&P and support.  Still no word on funeral arrangements, but FI is supposed to get in touch with his sister or mom today to find something out.  I asked him how he was handling it, and he said he was fine.  His dad was 45 when he was born, so his grandma would have been 63.  By the time FI was old enough to have any memories of her, she would have been already showing symptoms of Alzheimer's.  For those who have never known anyone with it, it's a terrible disease and it truly turns its sufferers into different people.  So FI feels like he never really knew his grandma, and therefore is not feeling the same level of grief as the rest of his family (who knew her before the disease), which is a bit awkward for him.  But in a way he's kind of relieved that she's not down here confused and suffering anymore.
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  • edited December 2011
    I am so sorry to hear this. Praying for ya'll

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  • mrandmrsbristmrandmrsbrist member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Praying.

    The same thing happened to us, but with H's great grandma. And her funeral was the day before the wedding. The wedding was still happy and joyus. Don't worry about it. I'm sure you have 2098324098234 other things to worry about, anyway.
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  • AllyG303AllyG303 member
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_xp-sad-news-two-weeks-before-wedding-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:8692f475-f964-4ca5-97e1-6f745fe95be4Post:b2e81069-381f-4a9e-b0ad-d01e39865211">Re: XP: Sad news two weeks before the wedding :(</a>:
    [QUOTE]  But in a way he's kind of relieved that she's not down here confused and suffering anymore.
    Posted by sessionswedding[/QUOTE]

    My grandma died from Alzheimers about 5 years ago, and I 100% agree with this.  While she was a wonderful woman, and I loved her dearly, it was hard to see her suffering as somebody completely different that who I grew up knowing. 

    Sending thoughts and prayers your way, and I hope that FI's family finds happiness at your wedding during this hard time. 
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  • SuMmErKuTiESuMmErKuTiE member
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    edited December 2011
    I'm sorry for your loss, and I'm sure it will be an emotional time around the funeral, but everyone will be happy to see you at your wedding and will be celebrating your wedding day. I like the idea of a mention of their memory in the program. Prayers going out to your FI's family.
  • iamjoesgurliamjoesgurl member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Sorry to hear this!  His family will be in my prayers.  While it is difficult to lose someone, Alzheimer's is an awful disease and I'm sure that in some ways it will help them to deal with  the loss knowing that she is not suffering anymore.  I can't even imagine how scary it would be to constantly be confused and surrounded by strangers. 
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  • BMcLeodTeamBMcLeodTeam member
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I'm sorry for your loss. Thoughts and prayers for you and your family!
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_xp-sad-news-two-weeks-before-wedding-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:8692f475-f964-4ca5-97e1-6f745fe95be4Post:c83b849d-c28c-4715-bafe-c77eec64beab">Re: XP: Sad news two weeks before the wedding :(</a>:
    [QUOTE]Sorry to hear this!  His family will be in my prayers.  While it is difficult to lose someone, Alzheimer's is an awful disease and I'm sure that in some ways it will help them to deal with  the loss knowing that she is not suffering anymore.  <strong>I can't even imagine how scary it would be to constantly be confused and surrounded by strangers. 
    </strong>Posted by iamjoesgurl[/QUOTE]
    Exactly this.  I wondered about her sometimes, and it always made me sad.  I'm glad that she's somewhere now that she can be herself, and not the person the disease made her.

    About the programs, I'm really sad about this.  The programs have been printed front and back and folded and placed in the program basket which is just waiting to go to the church.  There are about 200 of them, and I am out of printer ink even if there was a way to add something in there now.  :(
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  • edited December 2011
    XP from my month board:

    FI found out that the wake is actually this Saturday at 5:00 p.m.  He starts a new job tonight and doesn't know if he has to work tomorrow or not, and tomorrow is my bachelorette party.  I asked him what he wanted to do about all that, and he said he wants us to skip the wake.  He doesn't like wakes.  The funeral is Sunday at 3:00, and we'll be attending that with no problem since my BM brunch will be long over and FI should have Sundays off.  After the funeral we have to buy groceries and get some stuff done on my car.

    I feel weird about the fact that we are having to fit his grandma's funeral into our busy job/chore/wedding filled schedules.
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  • iamjoesgurliamjoesgurl member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I missed the message that your FI got a job.  YAY!
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  • FaithCaitlinFaithCaitlin member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Sorry to hear this. :( Praying..

    Congrats to FI on his job!

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  • edited December 2011
    So sorry about this. I will pray for peace. 
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