First looks???

amongthelilies25

is anyone doing them? i was TOTALLY against it and wanted the first time to see him when i walk down the aisle and be really traditional about it. but yesterday i met with my wedding planner and she described the first looks soo amazing. like its just you and him and the photographer and they capture all those tender moments. She said that all 3 of her boys did it that way and they wouldn't change it for the world. she said that being able to take the pictures of just you and him enjoying being in love away from all the excitement is just priceless. 

uh..ya... okay after describing it like that.. I WANNA DO IT NOW! my FMIL disagrees though. she said that it wouldn't have the same effect while i'm walking down the aisle. she said that the guests want to see his reaction when he sees me for the first time and that is something that everyone should share and not just for me. idk... i tried to explain it to his mom about how tender and sweet the pictures would be... but she says its an "injustice to the wedding."

idk... are you (did you) girls do first looks? why or why not? 

sessionswedding

What does your FI think?  My FI is 100% against it, no matter how many times we hear the sweet descriptions like that.  So it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, if I schedule a first look I'd be the only one there without FI, lol.

fpaemp2011

I didn't even know about them until TK, and when I just casually mentioned it to FI when he had asked about "that website with all the wedding stuff" he was dead set against it.  He really wants the first time he sees me that day to be when I'm walking down the aisle. 

We wouldn't have our wedding bands on, I think it would make us feel more rushed to get ready to get all of the pics in before, so we're not doing one.  Also, since we're not kissing until the end of the ceremony, there would be a lot of pictures we would have to do after the ceremony, anyways. 

We're doing a social hour with mocktails and appetizers at the reception venue, and we've talked with the photographer about how important it is that we're all leaving the church by 7:15 so our guests aren't waiting too long for dinner.

sessionswedding

I will say that we're doing every single picture that doesn't involve FI seeing me before the ceremony, before the ceremony.  Especially all of the "details" pics like a picture of the invitation, a picture of the rings, etc.

[Deleted User]

we are doing a First Look, and I'm very excited about it. 

one of the nice (practical things) about doing a First Look, is our guests only have to wait 20 minutes or so for us to get to the reception because the majority of our pictures will be done before the ceremony.

most of my friends that have done the First Look really loved it.  you get to be as excited as you want and you don't have to "rein in" any reactions...  also, they said it helped to calm their jitters before the actual ceremony.  and the grooms still had teary eyes when their brides walked down the aisle.

sessionswedding

You know, I have never heard anyone regret either decision.  I have never heard someone say "I regret doing a first look," and I have never heard someone say "I regret waiting until I walked down the aisle."

amongthelilies25

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_first-looks?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:8ace148d-dd13-488e-b09b-271d36e7985cPost:85195e98-78a3-4c54-ae4f-a098e6f56cdc">Re: First looks???</a>:
[QUOTE]What does your FI think?  My FI is 100% against it, no matter how many times we hear the sweet descriptions like that.  <font class="Apple-style-span" color="#ff00ff">So it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, if I schedule a first look I'd be the only one there without FI, lol.</font>
Posted by sessionswedding[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div><font class="Apple-style-span" color="#000000">haha this made me laugh. (: ya... idk if he wants to do it. i said no.... and then he just looked at me... so i thought maybe that he wanted to do the first looks. but idk. we probably wont though. but i still wanna make sure that we take sweet and tender pics of just him and i. (:</font>

</div>

SuMmErKuTiE

We did a first look and it was one of the best decisions we made  for our wedding day. I was against it when I first heard about it as well, but after hearing so many people rave about it and after my photographer suggested it we thought it about some more and realized it was the better option for us.

It was so amazing to be able to have a private moment the first time we saw each other. We were able to hug, kiss, and cry without hundreds of eyes on us. We loved showing our true emotions, plus getting our pictures out of the way was a huge plus since we were looking forward to actually attending the party we had been planning for the past year and a half. We were able to mingle at cocktail hour and spend a lot more time with our guests.

Plus, I must say it took absolutely nothing away from my walk down the aisle. I was still super emotional and broke down in tears as I got to the front and the look on DH's face was priceless.

amongthelilies25

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_first-looks?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:8ace148d-dd13-488e-b09b-271d36e7985cPost:905c889e-b9db-4d9d-aaae-3382453ed22d">Re: First looks???</a>:
[QUOTE]We did a first look and it was one of the best decisions we made that for our wedding day. It was so amazing to be able to have a private moment the first time we saw each other. We were able to hug, kiss, and cry without hundreds of eyes on us. We loved showing our true emotions, plus getting our pictures out of the way was a huge plus since we were looking forward to actually attending the party we had been planning for the past year and a half. We were able to mingle at cocktail hour and spend a lot more time with our guests. <font class="Apple-style-span" color="#ff00ff">Plus, I must say it took absolutely nothing away from my walk down the aisle. I was still super emotional and broke down in tears as I got to the front and the look on DH's face was priceless.</font>
Posted by SuMmErKuTiE[/QUOTE]

<div><font class="Apple-style-span" color="#000000">this is how i feel that i would feel. i dont think it will take away from the walk down the aisle. he would still be seeing me walk down the aisle to be his wife. i know i will still be emotional. idk. his mom is worried that FI won't have the same reaction on his face and so she will miss it. but i feel like it would be nice to do the majority of the pics before and stuff.</font></div>

FaithCaitlin

We are doing a first look.

The main reason we are? It will be totally dark out for our ceremony and the photographer wants to get good pictures of us.

BUT, after looking at some first look pictures and realizing how sweet of a moment it will be, I'm so happy we are doing one. 

katiedidthat

We won't be doing one because FI is set against it completely.  I've never understood the logic of having to "hide emotions" when you're walking down the aisle though, so when my photographer said it would give us a chance to take our pictures without having to be reserved, I about laughed him out of the room.  I plan on basically bawling my eyes out the whole way down the aisle, at my cousin's wedding last year she walked slow for about the first 2 pews and then basically ran the rest of the way because she was so excited, and we thought it was the sweetest thing we'd ever seen. 

joyfulbride424

FI and I both want our first look to be down the aisle. I think first looks are beautiful, but its not for us.

amongthelilies25

ya... i really think that we will not do one. i was dead set on the first look being down the aisle. (: we'll just do that. i think it will be beautiful.

drama1308

Well, it looks like I'm getting in here late, and I'm going to admit that I didn't read all the responses. That being said, here we go:

We are doing a first look because I want that private moment like you described. I also think it's going to get some of our butterflies out. (and hopefully any crying). Do what you want, not what FMIL wants. None of your guests will know unless you tell them, and anyway, what do they care?

heyimbren

As another option, I did see photos (I can't remember where, I'm sorry!) where a couple sort of did a first look... except they didn't look. They took a couple neat photos where they were around the corner from each other holding hands, and doing things like that so he couldn't see her all dressed up but they sort of had their private moment still.

I think it really depends on what the couple is like

sprtychick10

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_first-looks?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:8ace148d-dd13-488e-b09b-271d36e7985cPost:f205d68f-d409-4060-945d-7b7e94fc9848">Re: First looks???</a>:
[QUOTE]I will say that <strong>we're doing every single picture that doesn't involve FI seeing me before the ceremony, before the ceremony.  Especially all of the "details" pics like a picture of the invitation, a picture of the rings, etc.
</strong>Posted by sessionswedding[/QUOTE]

we are doing exactly this

DramaGeek

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_first-looks?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:8ace148d-dd13-488e-b09b-271d36e7985cPost:905c889e-b9db-4d9d-aaae-3382453ed22d">Re: First looks???</a>:
[QUOTE]We did a first look and it was one of the best decisions we made  for our wedding day. I was against it when I first heard about it as well, but after hearing so many people rave about it and after my photographer suggested it we thought it about some more and realized it was the better option for us. It was so amazing to be able to have a private moment the first time we saw each other. We were able to hug, kiss, and cry without hundreds of eyes on us. We loved showing our true emotions, plus getting our pictures out of the way was a huge plus since we were looking forward to actually attending the party we had been planning for the past year and a half. We were able to mingle at cocktail hour and spend a lot more time with our guests. Plus, I must say it took absolutely nothing away from my walk down the aisle. I was still super emotional and broke down in tears as I got to the front and the look on DH's face was priceless.
Posted by SuMmErKuTiE[/QUOTE]

Ditto this, except I was never against it, and I didn't cry.  I wouldn't have cried anyway because I'm a cold hearted snake.  I only cry at sporting events and sports movies.  True story.

I will add that it totally helped me relaxed.  I was a much nicer person after seeing H and getting to goof around with him.

SoonToBeGenao

No first look for us. We (okay, maybe I...) am very traditional and always pictured that big moment when I walk into the church holding (gripping) onto my father.

amongthelilies25

In Response to Re: First looks???:
[QUOTE]No first look for us. We (okay, maybe I...) am very traditional and always pictured that big moment when I walk into the church holding (gripping) onto my father.
Posted by SoonToBeGenao[/QUOTE]

awh...i love this!!!!!

drama1308

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_first-looks?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:8ace148d-dd13-488e-b09b-271d36e7985cPost:90851242-b752-4f17-8555-dc3fa968c17b">Re: First looks???</a>:
[QUOTE]As another option, I did see photos (I can't remember where, I'm sorry!) where a couple sort of did a first look... except they didn't look. They took a couple neat photos where they were around the corner from each other holding hands, and doing things like that so he couldn't see her all dressed up but they sort of had their private moment still. I think it really depends on what the couple is like :)
Posted by heyimbren[/QUOTE]

I have never heard of this, sounds super cute!! awwwwww I wanna do this too!!

mrandmrsbrist

We are not doing one. I thought they sounded super sweet and romantic but when I told FI about it he was dead set against it. I'm okay with that.

amongthelilies25

ya.... i am pretty good with not having first looks. (: i might go INSANE waiting to see him and i MIGHT run a little to the alter. hehe.

sessionswedding

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_first-looks?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:8ace148d-dd13-488e-b09b-271d36e7985cPost:da4625fa-2277-4ec8-a38a-45f11a4365bd">Re: First looks???</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: First looks??? : this is how i feel that i would feel. i dont think it will take away from the walk down the aisle. he would still be seeing me walk down the aisle to be his wife. i know i will still be emotional. idk. <strong>his mom is worried that FI won't have the same reaction on his face and so she will miss it.</strong> but i feel like it would be nice to do the majority of the pics before and stuff.
Posted by amongthelilies25[/QUOTE]
She doesn't have to.  A girl I go to church with got married about a year ago, and they did a first look with their immediate families in attendance.  So the mothers still got to see the looks.

kellya01

We're not doing a first look.  The moment we both leave the rehearsal dinner, to the moment I walk down the aisle ... we'll be apart for a while, and we want that moment to be special, but also something that our friends and family all get to witness.  I don't like being the center of attention, so I will be a bit shy anyway, but I'm willing to do it for FI because HE wants the moment of the doors opening and me coming down the aisle and all that lovey-dovey-tear-jerking stuff.  :-) 

ravenray

When we get around to it, we won't be doing one.  I know what everyone says but it just isn't for us.  I always feel like whenever the first look thing is mentioned everyone who is doing it/done it is super aggressive towards the people who want to wait which really bothers me. (Not that anyone is being aggressive on here) I can't wait to see the look on his face when I appear for the first time.   I don't have a long isle to walk down but I know it will be awesome.  Plus that is my favorite part of the wedding.     But to each his own.

AshNoel8

We aren't doing one either. I want the first time he sees me to be while I'm walking down the aisle. BUT we are planning on taking a picture on opposite sides of a door/corner before the ceremony. We aren't going to hold hands or speak... So we won't see, hear or touch each other, but later we will have this awesome picture of us "together" (but not really) before the walk down the aisle. I'm pretty excited about it!

Soon2BeMrsTing

We did one, and we made time afterward for a tour around the city of New Haven for a photo shoot with just the two of us before the ceremony started.  It totally relaxed us, plus we got great photos without making our guests wait.  In my opinion, doing a first look took nothing away from the walk down the aisle.  It's an emotional moment no matter what.

kellya01

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_first-looks?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:8ace148d-dd13-488e-b09b-271d36e7985cPost:fda92aa2-dd2e-4b8b-91c5-45a21a82312c">Re: First looks???</a>:
[QUOTE]When we get around to it, we won't be doing one.  I know what everyone says but it just isn't for us.  I always feel like whenever the first look thing is mentioned everyone who is doing it/done it is <strong>super aggressive towards the people who want to wait</strong> which really bothers me. (Not that anyone is being aggressive on here) I can't wait to see the look on his face when I appear for the first time.   I don't have a long isle to walk down but I know it will be awesome.  Plus that is my favorite part of the wedding.   :)  But to each his own.
Posted by ravenray[/QUOTE]

That is exactly why I don't usually answer this question elsewhere on TK boards (but I did answer here, obviously!) --- I think that both ways are acceptable, it's just personal preference and sometimes a few traditional or time considerations that sway the decision for a lot of people.  Unfortunately though, on other boards, sometimes people can get a little argumentative about doing it and I am glad that it was kept very positive on this board!!! :-)

sessionswedding

Totally agree with PPs, I have noticed some aggression about it, but I'm glad I haven't seen that here!

DramaGeek

Eh, the aggression goes both ways.  I've had some people insist that my walk down the aisle couldn't possibly have been as special as theirs was going to be since we saw each other pre-ceremony.

iamjoesgurl

We did not do a first look but in retrospect, I wish that we had.  DH is a very private person and did not want to have to be up in front of so many people for the wedding.  He was so nervous that I'm not sure he really saw me walking down the aisle (I mean, he saw me but he wasn't really taking it all in).  I feel like if we had done a first look, it would have been just the two of us and I feel like it would have been totally different.  In some respects I feel like I missed that reaction to him seeing me for the first time.

The reason we didn't do it (and we never even talked about doing it) was because one of my favorite moments in a wedding is watching a groom when his bride first walks into the church.  Most people are looking at the bride but I'd rather look at the groom.  So I wanted that moment for my guests.  I just didn't really consider the fact that it wasn't the right decision for us.

Having said all of that, we wouldn't have changed how we did the pictures and everything of the two of us together would have been taken after.  Our guests were enjoying cocktail hour while we took a few (very few) pictures of us with our families and then the two of us took about 20 minutes to just be together and talk before we went to the reception.  That was when the photographer got the best pictures of us and I am so glad we did that.  I highly recommend it!