Love at first sight?

kalizoomba

I've been thinking about something our preacher said today at church. He said that he doesn't believe in "Love at first sight" because when you first see someone, there's no way that you can love them. Love is something that develops and grows with time. It's a deep commitment. He said most people who say they've experienced "love at first sight" actually are experiencing "lust at first sight." 

While I agree with all this, My own personal experience with FI does not. 

That being said, I did not "love" FI the moment I met him. I did not think he was the most handsome or the cutest guy around. I was not physically attracted to him in any way. I did not lust after him like our preacher said this morning. 

What I could tell about him is that he was very different than any other man that I had ever met, and that I would not ever meet a man like him before. That first day I didn't even know his name - he just held a door open for me at college. I found myself coming back to that same door at the same time every day for a hope that I'd see him again and learn his name. A few months later, I had a class with him. It took me a while to work up the courage to say more than just "hi" but when I did, that first feeling of "this man is very different" was reaffirmed with the feeling that I could not let him out of my life.

Our relationship developed rather quickly (compared to other relationships I'd had.) and within 1 month, I was spending almost all my free time with him. It's been 5 years, and I still feel that it was God telling me that he was the one and that I should not let him out of my life. 

I knew after just 3 months that I loved him - however, I didn't tell him for nearly another year. So perhaps my experience was not "love at first sight" but what else do you call it? 

StacyJenniges

I also agree I do not believe in Love at First Sight.  I think it is something that the movies have put in our minds.  I think it has gotten so bad that many people will not admit that they didn't even like their Fiance, boyfriend or husband at first because they think that it means they really aren't ment for eachother. 

After my first date with my fiance I did not plan on there being a second date.  But something inside me told me "You enjoy talking to this guy, when you talk to him he makes you smile give him a chance".  I gave him that chance and four or five months later I new that I loved him.  We were engaged 7 months after that.  I really believe that the voice inside my head was actually God he was telling me that he gave me what I had been praying for.  This was the man for me.

I bet that is why you kept going to the door God told you that the guy who held the door for you was the man for you.

LittleBigO

I say it was basically love at first sight but I agree - non existant.  My definition of "love at first sight" is:

Not just seeing each other, yes I see you are in front of me, but truly SEEING them, all of them - inside and out.  Knowing you will be with them in that moment, that they are meant for you, and that you will never be apart again.  And in that moment - that's when you fall in love with them and know without a shadow of a doubt that THAT is the "sight" that you first loved him.  Make sense?

The first time I met DH, he came over to my house with my mom and sister home and the first time he talked I melted at his voice - but I figured it wouldn't last.  We got inside and my mom and sister told me (after meeting with him) that if I dumped him like I dumped every other guy after a month, that they'd disown me and adopt him.  :P  That night we hung out and had great conversation and we both wanted to see each other again - so we did. 

GJones27

I don't believe at LOVE at first sight.  But I think it's fine to say that you can sense something special in someone at first sight.  Sometimes when we're "background noise" to a person, they reveal their true selves thinking we're just "nobody."  You see someone without the facade.  And you can see some important stuff in a minute or even a few seconds.  You can't see everything, but enough to make you want to get to know (or avoid) a person.

kalizoomba

I guess all those make sense. Looking back now, I know it was God telling me that FI was different and to keep him. Otherwise, I would have just blown him off like almost every other guy.  

Milsey32

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_love-first-sight?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:8b9aa5a5-e3aa-4e23-b186-30a11062a0f6Post:1d8e5421-e351-4b3b-a446-b23d94bc3f7a">Re: Love at first sight?</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't believe at LOVE at first sight.  But I think it's fine to say that you can sense something special in someone at first sight.  Sometimes when we're "background noise" to a person, they reveal their true selves thinking we're just "nobody."  You see someone without the facade.  And you can see some important stuff in a minute or even a few seconds.  You can't see everything, but enough to make you want to get to know (or avoid) a person.
Posted by GJones27[/QUOTE]

<div>So true! [: </div>

AshNoel8

Haha I always believed in love at first sight because I have always been a sappy, hopeless romantic.. But for me, with FI, it was absolutely attraction at first sight. I approached him after a meeting because I had seen him around and wanted to find out if he had a GF. I remember I wore a cute outfit that day and tried to look nice because I planned on talking to him... hoping he was single! Turned out he was and when I left that day, I think I might have screamed in my car haha. We said I love you very early in the relationship (he said it first, but I want to say it was only like a week or two into us being "officially boyfriend and girlfriend"... and I was so glad he said it because I felt it too). I wouldn't say I loved him at the first sight of him, but I knew he was handsome... then at the first talk, I knew he was kind, caring and funny... and by the first real date, I knew love was a very real possibility... So, maybe for me it was love at... fourth sight? eighth sight? I don't know haha. 

LittleBigO

He made me say I love you first.    That was new for me haha.  We were sitting in his truck, about to go inside my grandma's and he said, "If you feel it then say it."  We kept skirting around it when I finally said I love you.  He just smiled and didn't really say much.  I was like, "ummmmm" in my head haha.  Later that night he said it back but to this day he still argues he said it back the first time.  Um no you didn't!!  I FREAKED out!!

mrandmrsbrist

I pretty much agree. I have strong attachments to people (not lust, attachment...) and so I genuinely cared about FI as a person/friend very quickly. I would even go as far to say that I loved him as a friend very quickly. It wasn't love (even as a friend) at first sight, though.

kellya01

I would agree with many of you about not being "love" at first sight.  I wouldn't say that I saw FI and had immediate lust though, either.  After we were friends for 4 or 5 months, we finally started dating, and it was at that point that we started to look at each other in a different light.  We were best friends, yes, but we transitioned into a partnership that benefited both of us on a mental and emotional level (while still independent).  Basically, we grew to a point where we looked at the other person and we both knew that that person was the one we wanted to spend the rest of our lives with.  So when I had THAT moment - the one where God was pointing out to me that He had brought my one and only straight to me - that was the moment that we both remember.  And we both experienced that at the same time.  We still are getting to know each other daily and growing deeper in love.  We still have our moments of bickering at each other, so no one is perfect here! :-)