I know the title is awkward, but I couldn't come up with good verbiage for what I'm asking.
A friend of mine who I work with(I'm in the military, so we're a tight knit group), recently passed away. He was in a car wreck(he was sober), giving a couple drunk people we work with a ride home, and suffered such terrible brain damage that the family decided to take him off life support. He died several hours later. The passengers walked away from the accident. My FI was his supervisor, so we were there when he passed.
I personally have never lost anyone close to me. I'm probably in the minority on this. I have never had to witness the grief of watching someone close to me pass. Seeing the parent's and siblings go through this truly shook me to my core. I was bawling when he passed, and not because we were so incredibly close, but because I've never been that close to death. It truly changed me.
I did not grow up with religion. My family is not religious. I've considered myself more agnostic than anything, as I don't renounce the possibility of a higher power. My fiance was a fire fighter before he joined the military, and he became more deeply religious because of this job. I never understood why until recently. He always said he had to look for a reason or way to accept the terrible things he saw.
As result of this experience, I've found myself wanting to be more religious, and wanting to believe in something more concrete. I've wanted to repent, so to speak, for my sins. I'm not sure where I go from here. Do I get baptised? Any insight anyone can provide me is appreciated, I know this is a rather vague post. I'm just not sure where to go from here, as even my fiance isn't incredibly involved with the church. I'm just looking for advice and for someone to point me in the right direction. Thanks in advance!