no dancing or alcohol

brittanybecker

the cheapest and most convient option would be to have te ceremony and reception at our church, and use the church kitchen and multipurpose room for the reception. the only issue: there is no dancing or alcohol allowed. are people going to understand a lame reception or should we spring for the alternative venue?? We are only have 75 guests

fpaemp2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_dancing-alcohol?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:9a3b22ec-cd2a-41a2-a455-7be779b7ae4dPost:8c9e6e88-ec9b-4356-a386-249084d449d0">no dancing or alcohol</a>:
[QUOTE]the cheapest and most convient option would be to have te ceremony and reception at our church, and use the church kitchen and multipurpose room for the reception. the only issue: there is no dancing or alcohol allowed. are people going to understand a lame reception or should we spring for the alternative venue?? We are only have 75 guests
Posted by brittanybecker[/QUOTE]
We had our reception in a ballroom...no alcohol...and it was nowhere near "lame."  Most of my friends have had their receptions in our church fellowship hall, no dancing or alcohol allowed, and they weren't "lame" either.  Your reception can still be fun without those.  Just keep your guests fed and have a seat for every butt. Maybe look into a photo booth (you can DIY one if you have a friend willing to man the camera).  Even if you don't offer any other activities during the reception, it will give you and your DH time to visit with everyone. 

mrandmrsbrist

I'm not sure how to answer this...
I'm not having alcohol or dancing at my reception (no, not even a first dance or father/daughter dance) and I doubt my guests will think it's lame. That's the kind of crowd we'll have there. We're having a reception because we want to socialize with the people who took the time to come celebrate our day with us, not to party.

brittanybecker

i didn't mean lame...im sorry if i offended those of you having similar weddings. what other kind of activities could we put on?

iamjoesgurl

I've been to lots of weddings where the reception was held in the church hall with no alcohol or dancing.  I've never felt like it was lame at all.

What are your personalities like?  Do you like to dance?  If you didn't have dancing, would your reception reflect you well?  What are your guests like?  Would they be likely to dance?  Do they drink alcohol?  Would they miss it?  When you go to weddings of your friends and family members, do they have dancing and alcohol?

What are your dreams for your reception?  Do you want to have your guests dancing the night away or do you want something more relaxed and low key?  Would you mind if your guests eat dinner and cake, leaving shortly afterward?  (That is more likely to happen without dancing or alcohol.)  I'm not saying that it won't be fun without dancing or alcohol, but it really matters how your friends/family would enjoy it.

Good luck figuring out what is best for you.

iamjoesgurl

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_dancing-alcohol?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:9a3b22ec-cd2a-41a2-a455-7be779b7ae4dPost:8b97a78c-3427-49d5-ab24-f2a10d23f082">Re: no dancing or alcohol</a>:
[QUOTE]i didn't mean lame...im sorry if i offended those of you having similar weddings. what other kind of activities could we put on?
Posted by brittanybecker[/QUOTE]

<div>I think I understood what you meant.  Some people feel uncomfortable without dancing/alcohol but not everyone would.  Just like I'm pretty uncomfortable when the alcohol is free flowing, people are drunk and kind of making fools of themselves on the dance floor.  But for some people, that would be their comfort zone.</div><div>
</div><div>I had dancing because it fits my personality.  Hopefully you'll be able to afford to do what you think fits your personalities.</div>

mrandmrsbrist

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_dancing-alcohol?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:9a3b22ec-cd2a-41a2-a455-7be779b7ae4dPost:8b97a78c-3427-49d5-ab24-f2a10d23f082">Re: no dancing or alcohol</a>:
[QUOTE]i didn't mean lame...im sorry if i offended those of you having similar weddings. what other kind of activities could we put on?
Posted by brittanybecker[/QUOTE]

I think I knew what you meant. It's pretty hard to upset us over here. We're pretty tame compared to a lot of the national boards. :)

DramaGeek

I know what you mean.  And honestly, yeah, I've been to some pretty "lame" receptions.  Some of them even had alcohol and dancing!  I think the problem is when the reception doesn't fit the couple.

You could always set up your reception like a carnival, with silly games and things.  You could do "pub trivia" (though I wouldn't call it that) with prizes for your guests.  You could have karaoke.  Anything that reflects you and your H would be great.  I think the receptions i have the hardest time with is when it's cake and punch and nothing programmed.  I hate feeling like I'm going to eat and run, but there's really not much else to do, you know?

ravenray

Do you like to dance and/or drink?  If so it might be worth the extra cost to find a new venue that fits your personality.  I personally love to dance; it sort of disappoints me when I can't dance at weddings, though I realize not everyone likes to dance.  My friend played a movie for her reception.  I think it would have worked out great except her reception was on a long, curvy road and everyone left because they were afraid to drive on it.  She didn't have any dancing or alcohol.  I think everyone had a great time.

So the main idea is do what is best for you and your personality.   If all of your friends like to drink and dance, they might be a little bored.  But if you have something else cool to entertain them I think it will be fine.

DramaGeek

ooh ravenray reminded me.  Friends of ours who were in film school when they married got married at an old movie theatre in town (think vintage, with the curtain and everything).  There's a small room upstairs where they did cake and soda, and they had costco boxes of movie candy around.  about 30 minutes into the reception they told everyone to grab some candy and soda and head back downstairs to the theatre because they were showing a movie.  We all watched Raiders of the Lost Ark.  It was a total blast.

GJones27

I went to one wedding where dancing wasn't a huge part.  They had an outdoor country theme, and they had games and fun stuff to do, like hoola hoops, horseshoes, taking pictures against those big cutouts with openings for the face, etc.  You could think of activities like that for guests.  

FaithCaitlin

If you want dancing and alcohol, I'd find a different venue solely because its what you want. If you don't drink or don't care about dancing, don't worry about having a "lame" reception. It won't be lame and it will be "you"!

SuMmErKuTiE

For my circle it wasn't even a question to have dancing and alcohol. I've never attended a wedding without an open bar and dancing. What me and DH look forward to the most at weddings are good food, free drinks, and a great dj for dancing. The one wedding I've been to without dancing was my aunt's a few years ago, but she did have an open bar. I spent a lot of the evening catching up with family members I hadn't seen in a while and we loved the top shelf patron margaritas. It was a nice time, and I just circulated the room and sat at different tables after dinner trying to see everyone. I missed the dancing, but it wasn't a huge deal.

Just weigh out the pros and cons of both situations. Do your friends and family look forward to dancing and a bar at weddings or will it not be missed? If it won't be missed, then defintiely go for the cheaper and more convenient option. But if it's a norm in your circle, then I would go for a more traditional wedding venue for the reception, have a cocktail hour while you and your FI are taking pictures after the ceremony for the guests, and then move into the reception hall where there will be dancing after dinner for everyone. HTH!

SoonToBeMrsK12

We're not having dancing, because neither of us like to dance. We figured that we should do the things we like to do at our own wedding! We're also serving just wine and soft drinks, so there's limited alcohol.

Like the others have said, you have to know what your style is, and also what your guests would enjoy. I've been to receptions with games and activities at the reception instead of dancing, so if you're worried about being lame, that could keep people busy.

LittleBigO

We had no alcohol (mom's 5 years sober now and besides we got married in a dry county) and we weren't suppose to dance but we asked permission to just have a first dance which they allowed.  They said we could play music as long as it wasn't too loud and we did a bouquet give basically (found the longest married couple while playing a song and just gave it to them).  Same thing with the garter, we just gave it to the man (like a dad) that walked me down the "aisle".  We just had dinner basically and did cake and it was just fine.