invite question-poor etiquette, i know

catwine

i went out for coffee with my cousin yesterday to talk weddings. she is getting married about 3 weeks after me and was looking for advice and just to chat.  the topic of guest lists came up and i told her that we are inviting 69 people to the reception but having a large and open ceremony for eveyone to attend (i know that's  considered bad etiquette).  i emphasized that the ceremony is the most important part for us and  we are only having a reception becuase we basically have to (our parents want us to have one).  i told her that i hope people won't get offended if they don't get a reception invite..she said they won't.

problem: she isn't invited but doesnt know it yet!
i struggled a lot with my guest list but ended up cutting out my cousins becuase i'm not close to them and haven't ever felt welcomed or included by them.  i'm not sure what to say to he when she asks why she only got a ceremony invite...

saharnshard

Tell her the truth. That you didn't invite any cousins. It's not like you singled her out, so she should understand.

Ash61612

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_invite-question-poor-etiquette-i-know?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:9ff3587d-63f8-4574-9f37-151218a9fc63Post:ae8cacd6-48f5-421c-8a82-aee6c1275f55">Re: invite question-poor etiquette, i know</a>:
[QUOTE]Tell her the truth. That you didn't invite any cousins. It's not like you singled her out, so she should understand.
Posted by saharnshard[/QUOTE]



Agree

catwine

okay...i just feel awkward becuase she is both inviting me as her guest and hiring me to take her pictures, which is a whole other kettle of fish!!

naomikb

How many people are coming to the ceremony?  Are you sending out invitations for it or just word of mouth?

Is the reception a sit-down dinner where it costs a lot per person and you need defined seating, or is it more casual?

GJones27

Hmm... that is awkward.  Would fitting her in be possible?  

catwine

i don't want to invite cousins becuase i'm not close with them...if i invite her, i'll have to invite her fiance, then all my other cousins and their SO's.

i actually have no idea how many people are coming the ceremony!  we are sending paper invites to our neighbors and stuff, but most is word of mouth and Facebook. 

our whole wedding is casual but the dinner is a sit down, served meal.

ravenray

If you aren't close with your cousin why were you having coffee with her? 
Honestly I would suck it up and invite her.  You don't have to invite your other cousins but I would invite her. 
But then again I don't agree with your open ceremony, closed reception idea.  I think you are going to offend a lot of people.