vacations?

jessiegirl61610

Yeah-I know we need disagreements to challenge our faith, I guess I just get sensitive about it when everyone seems to be disagreeing with my viewpoint! lol It's hard to not feel a little awkward being the odd duck out in your viewpoint

RebeccaJac

You did get some backing on your view... just not a lot  

I grew up non-denom as well and I believe whole heartedly in relationship over religion. Religion has pretty much killed Christianity and what it was originally. 

In your personal walk, have you ever felt challenged like this? Through what you read in the Bible, or have you found things that back you up? 

I'm honestly just looking for discussion here, I'm super interested. 

jessiegirl61610

I have felt challenged, for some various things, such as "living in sin", and since I'm pro-gay marriage (since I feel like God just wants us to love and accept everyone, I feel there's nothing wrong with more love in the world).  I've had some people who completely agree w/ me, and I've had some people also tell me I'm not a Christian, or that I can't be Christian because of my beliefs.  The latter has always confused me when people say that...I've been shocked that some ppl tell me I can't be Christian...wouldn't true Chrisitians want others to be Christians, even if they don't agree w/ their beliefs? 

Things I have heard in church about the Bible I felt have backed me up...since many marriages in the Bible weren't considered marriages through the same measures we consider marriage to be today (gov license).  And through my personal relationship with God, I have felt that I've been living on the right path with my FI.  I love God, I spread his word to others, I try to live my life through Him, and I never felt from God that what I have done in my relationship with my FI is wrong, since I knows He knows that we are truly committed, and that my FI and I are building a three-way relationship (FI, me, and God) and making it stronger everyday.

But I know ppl have many diff takes on the Bible...Rebecca, I'm curious, as a pastor what's your take on this?

RebeccaJac

Well, I disagree with you...  

But I can tell you why... which might alleviate some of your frustration with so many disagreements!  

As far as gay marriage, scripture doesn't at all condone it, and as Christ followers and Christians, it is our responsibility to check all of our beliefs against God's Word. The people who are saying you aren't Christian are saying your beliefs aren't matching those of the Christian faith. (BTW, having a differing viewpoint has absolutely no impact on your salvation. That is between you and God, through faith in his death and resurrection and your willingness to be his disciple). I through much prayer and study have come to the place of being pro-gay marriage when it comes to the government, and against it when it comes to religion. It's not the place of the goventment (who is secular) to make those decisions, but rather the people. If someone in my church was gay, I would welcome them with open arms, but wouldn't be afraid of speaking the truth that that lifestyle goes against my beliefs. Everything in love, of course. 

As far as your personal decisions, I think marriage is a whole lot more than just a party. The ceremony of coming before God, presenting both of yourselfs to become one, the anointing and blessng of that is when your spirits unite. Ceremonies to exchange promise rings are beautiful, but I don't believe they unite you in the way a marriage ceremony does. The Bible speaks often about individuals leaving their father and mother, and becoming one. You don't become one, before you leave home and start a new life together. 

1 Thessalonians 5:22 talks about avoiding any kind of evil. While you know you made a committment to your FI, the world doesn't all the world sees is two people, not married, but claiming to be Christian living as if they are just like everyone else. We are called to be different, to stand out, to live in a way that doesn't make sense to a world that doesn't know Christ. 

1 Corintians 6:18 tells you to flee from sexual immorality. Flee is a pretty strong word. It means to get up and run like the wind away from it. It isn't to be meddled with. 

Song of Soloman talks about not awakening love before the correct time (the actual marriage). 

I don't believe God sees you as married. I believe he's working in your relationship, and honoring your decision to pursue him together, but you're not one yet. You haven't been unified in the way that a marriage ceremony brings. 

In the Bible there's a well known story about a woman about to be stoned to death for sleeping with a man not her husband. She had it coming, she broke the law and she broke God's commandment, but Jesus distracted an angry crowd and convicted them of their own short comings. When he spoke to the woman he said, "go and sin no more". 

There's always room for grace and repentance and second chances, but no, I don't believe your personal choices are what God has intended for you. 

If I were you, I would go straight back to scripture. We are to measure everything we do against God's word. You can't take what your family says or what a bunch of women on here say and use it as your guide. I'd be happy to help you discern things, but you have to measure your decisions based on scripture. 

I hope you know everything said comes from a place of love.

RebeccaJac

Totally did not realize how long that was 'til I posted. Sorry ya'll

amongthelilies25

rebecca - i love everything you have said. (: 

DramaGeek

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_vacations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:a0a17972-68b8-4acc-88f4-8777765fe656Post:81fd53e7-1975-4b4b-959e-1ae65c99a166">Re: vacations?</a>:
[QUOTE]I have felt challenged, for some various things, such as "living in sin", and since I'm pro-gay marriage (since I feel like God just wants us to love and accept everyone, I feel there's nothing wrong with more love in the world).  I've had some people who completely agree w/ me, and I've had some people also tell me I'm not a Christian, or that I can't be Christian because of my beliefs.  The latter has always confused me when people say that...I've been shocked that some ppl tell me I can't be Christian...wouldn't true Chrisitians want others to be Christians, even if they don't agree w/ their beliefs?  Things I have heard in church about the Bible I felt have backed me up...<strong>since many marriages in the Bible weren't considered marriages through the same measures we consider marriage to be today (gov license).</strong>  And through my personal relationship with God, I have felt that I've been living on the right path with my FI.  I love God, I spread his word to others, I try to live my life through Him, and I never felt from God that what I have done in my relationship with my FI is wrong, since I knows He knows that we are truly committed, and that my FI and I are building a three-way relationship (FI, me, and God) and making it stronger everyday. But I know ppl have many diff takes on the Bible...Rebecca, I'm curious, as a pastor what's your take on this?
Posted by jessiegirl61610[/QUOTE]

I just wanted to address the bolded part.  While it is true that marriage customs have changed and that at one time the marriages in the Bible did not have a government license, I think the main difference between those marriages and what you are talking about is that those marriages were declared publicly.  The two people vowed to join their lives together in front of God and <u>witnesses</u>.  If you and your fiance joined your lives togehter in front of witnesses, professing to be married, then yes I agree that you are married in the eyes of God, but like PP I don't understand why you'd need a wedding then.  If there were no witnesses and you don't claim to be married, then I don't agree that you are married in the eyes of God.

KellyS01

Wow, ladies!  Lots of good discussion.  I didn't realize this question would bring all of this about.  Thanks for all of your input and sorry that my OP was a P&R.

FaithCaitlin

FI and I had sex before marriage; we've known for a very long time that we were going to get married. We planned on waiting but that didn't happen. We already feel married and have no regrets.

We take vacations together and enjoy them!

No judgement on my part of anyone, by any means.. you have to do what's right for you and FI!

jessiegirl61610

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_vacations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:a0a17972-68b8-4acc-88f4-8777765fe656Post:bbc6098d-e502-4446-afdb-c09385785e51">Re: vacations?</a>:
[QUOTE]FI and I had sex before marriage; we've known for a very long time that we were going to get married. We planned on waiting but that didn't happen. We already feel married and have no regrets. We take vacations together and enjoy them! No judgement on my part of anyone, by any means.. you have to do what's right for you and FI!
Posted by FaithCaitlin[/QUOTE]

My FI and I did and feel tha same as you and yours.  I guess different things just work for different people.  :)