BC & NFP/FAM?

[Deleted User]

hi ladies!

I have been on BC for 6 or 7 years, non-stop (except for a few years ago when I went off of it for 2 or 3 months).  FI and I are waiting until after we are married to have sex, but we are both really concerned about not having children until we are emotionally/mentally/financially ready for them. 

I am really good at taking my pill approx. the same time every day.  however, I know that there are no guarantees.

I've heard some of you all talk about NFP and charting your fertile/infertile times of the month.  can this work while on BC?  let's say, we're on BC but we'd like to be aware of when I'm most fertile in case we need to take some extra precautions or modifications.

how does NFP really work?  would it be a good fit for FI and me?  how do you get started? 

we are only 26 days out from the wedding, but I would still like to get more information and possibly start charting ASAP.  if nothing else, it would be nice to know where my body is at in the cycle.

TIA!

EDIT:  what's the difference in FAM and NFP?

kellya01

If I remember right, NFP you abstain during your most fertile time or the time of the month.  With FAM, you don't necessarily abstain during the fertile times but use barriers instead (male condoms, female condoms).  I think NFP you aren't supposed to use barriers, from what I remember reading.  

I decided to try hormonal BC and today I went back to the doctor to switch to something different.  We decided to put me on the Depo shot - no pills, no period for 3 months.  I've read about the FAM and NFP methods and it's not for me.  It works for a LOT of people successfully, however, so definitely check it out.  

Here's a website about FAM: http://www.tcoyf.com/

[Deleted User]

we're mostly just looking for an accurate daily charting of whether or not I'm likely to be fertile.  also, something that we can use when we are TTC.

DramaGeek

My understanding is that you cannot get an accurate read of fertile times while on BCP.  However, once you are off BCP you can begin to use it to determine fertility.  I would read the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" which explains NFP/FAM really well.  And Kelly is right - the difference is that NFP comes from the Catholic church and not allow for any birth control aside from abstinence and FAM allows for the use of barriers during fertile times.

monkeysip

@ Coco

While you're on hormonal birth control, you don't ovulate.  So, you can't measure fertility (because you're infertile).  So, no, you can't chart while you're using HBC

You have to go off BC to start charting.  It also usually takes several months to start really understanding your cycles.

[Deleted User]

well, obviously you aren't entirely infertile because there is still a risk of pregnancy on BC.    however, I can see how the HBC can mess up the readings.  hmmm...

EDIT:  I hope I didn't come off as rude.  I reread my comment and can see how it could be taken as having an attitude.  so if it seems rude, I'm sorry! 

we are just trying to research and look around into somehow easing our minds about using HBC.  FI is getting really worried as we get closer to the wedding, so I thought that might be a good way for us to chart and help reduce those kinds of concerns.

monkeysip

I know what you're saying, Coco.  It's ok, I didn't take it as rude.

On HBC, you have like a 3% chance at ovulating, so, its possible, but unlikely.  And yeah, the mucus signs and temperature will be completely screwed up because you're body isn't able to follow a natural cycle.

Either way, there is no 100% birth control.  HBC, condoms, and NFP/Fam all have roughly the same (tiny) chance of getting pregnant.  And this chance is increased with user-error, which is possible with any method (forget to take a pill, didn't chart correctly, etc.).  Unless you're practicing complete abstinence, there is always that 3% chance.  

DramaGeek

You could use a secondary BC such as condoms, spermicide, etc.  I'll be honest though, we've been using BCP only for over 8 years and have only had one semi-scare, and that was because I was in a crazy-busy, stressful time and honestly couldn't remember if I'd had my period or not (isn't that awful?!).  Obviously it's not the same for everyone, but that's been our experience.

SoonToBeGenao

Monkeysip is right. You do not ovulate when you are on hormonal birth control- therefore you can not use both methods at the same time. If you take the pill as it is supposed to be taken the risk of pregnancy is basically non-exisitant. They say there is a chance= because many women do not take the pill with the regularity that is necessary. (Every day at the same time) The pill is absolutely the safest way to control pregnancy.

mrandmrsbrist

Where is Emily when you need her? Her and her new DH are using NFP and she'd be able to tell you more than I would.

For FI and I, BC is not an option. I can't be on it because of other medications I'm on. I've been charting for about six months now, and plan to continue charting after we're married. We'll use barriers after we're married and until we're ready for children.

I understand that worry that you'll be pregnant before you're ready...it's a huge fear of mine!

sessionswedding

I think the actual pregnancy chance percentage for a combo-pill (progestin and estrogen) taken correctly is 0.09%.

ETA:  It's also VERY IMPORTANT to use a back-up method if you're on antibiotics.  They WILL make HBC stop working temporarily.  I have a brother as proof.

joie424

DH and I use FAM/NFP.

Most of the others have covered it - basically you don't ovulate, and the period before you ovulate timeframe you are considered at risk for pregnancy. No ovulation: small risk. Post ovulation in charting is your infertile state, which is why the two methods would not work together. Honestly - If you are worried, I would use condoms in addition to BCP, that is really your safest bet. If you have more questions about FAM/NFP feel free to PM me. I've been charting for a year now.

fpaemp2011

I'm here, mrandmrsbrist!

We are using NFP.  I started charting in January, and we'll find out in a few weeks if the charting is accurate.

We decided not to use HBC because of personal convictions and we're both more comfortable with NFP than FAM (using barriers).

Taking Charge of Your Fertility (TCOYF) has been an amazing resource and even DH is learning from it.   You can also check out www.tcoyf.com for free online charting and community forums.

mrandmrsbrist

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_bc-nfp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:a116274f-cc4b-43a1-ab18-038b8848cf56Post:35f762a9-24fb-4e7a-ad69-21cd7f0b18d7">Re: BC & NFP/FAM?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm here, mrandmrsbrist! :)
Posted by fpaemp2011[/QUOTE]

Yaaay! :)

monkeysip

I just wanted to add that you'll never be ready for a pregnancy.  There will never be a perfect time for children.

That's why it is important to constantly be prayerful about avoiding children.  God's plan may not be your plan...

SuMmErKuTiE

I honestly had never heard of NFP or FAM before coming on here. Everyone I know has always been on the pill or gotten those shots every 3 months. I've been on the pill for 8 or 9 years, and plan to stop taking it when it runs out in September. It's scary but also exciting for DH and I. We know we could get pregnant right away or it could take a while, so we're just leaving it up to God and His timing for us to have children. We've been married a year coming up this Sunday, and we wanted to have time to just be us for a while and because we knew we wanted to move to FL and buy a house first, so I renewed my prescription last summer for another year.

sessionswedding

I have to be on HBC anyway for my crazy reproductive system issues, so I was put on HBC long before I ever considered having kids (it was right before I turned 16).  And seeing as how FI and I don't want kids for about 7 more years, we are definitely more comfortable with HBC than NFP or FAM because the pregnancy chances are much lower and there's much less room for human error.

LittleBigO

I use BCP and have had success so far.  I can't really add anything more to what PPs said.  :P

However - my "sister" was using Nuva-ring, condoms, and some other way to prevent it and she STILL got pregnant.  :P  When it's in God's plan, it's in God's plan lol. 

amongthelilies25

i am on HBC (i have been on the Nuva-Ring for 4 months now)... FI and i are waiting until the wedding.. but i wanted to make sure that i found a BC that i liked before the wedding..... so that i could do my "trial and error" stage BEFORE there was any chance of getting pregnant. 

we want to wait a few years and really just focus on us.... i looked into NFP/FAM after hearing it on here. It said that you need to be able to practice a lot of self-control and if i  am being honesty...after i am in a covenant marriage... idk how much self-control i will be able to practice. (; lol. sooo HBC was the option for us, and i have liked it thus far. (: 

untherapy

late post, but one thing you could consider while on BCPs is using ovulation tests. They are "pee on the stick" tests that will show you if you have the hormone surge associated with ovulation. I used them for several months when I started my pills to assure myself that I genuinely wasn't ovulating (and I wasn't).

So you could keep them on hand and test every month in the middle of your cycle, just to make sure.