i can't be the only virgin...

catwine

...right?  my fiance have been together for about 3.5 years and haven't had sex at all.  i was always taught that you wait until you're married to do that and my fiance was told you wait until you're in love.  he wasn't  a Christian when we met but became one shortly after and has shared my view all along.  all of our close friends know we are both virgins by choice and those who aren't wish they were. 

i'm so excited for my wedding night because i've been saving myself for one person and he has been saving himself for me. 

BekahL90

Nope, you're not the only one! My FI and I are both virgins as well. That's awesome that you have chosen to wait! It's SO hard, but it's a wonderful thing to be going into marriage with no regrets. Stay strong!

mrandmrsbrist

H and I were both virgins when we got married. It does feel like you're the only one sometimes, but honestly, it doesn't really matter what everyone else is doing. You're doing what is right for you and your FI.

rlavach

I don't usually post on here, but just wanted to say you're definitely not alone. I was a virgin also, by choice, and not ashamed of it. My DH was not, but had abstained for the about 6 years that he has been baptized. So, it was *almost* new for him. I certainly don't brag about it since it's really nobody else's business, but I don't shy away from commenting if it comes up in conversation. Like PP said, you're doing what's best for you both.

RebeccaJac

I am! We've been together for 4 years and although it's been really hard, we believe God created sex to be enjoied only in a committed marriage relationship. 

I can't wait for our honeymoon night, but I know we made the right decision to honor God with our bodies! Hang in there! 

catwine

I'm glad to see these comments:)  I haven't found it hard to stay a virgin but that's probably because I grew up feeling ashamed of skin showing so I'm certainly not going to take my clothes off for somebody!!

my fiance said sex came up in a convo with his friends when we first started dating and they were surprised to learn we made a concious choice to practice abstinence.  they also thought it was a really good idea (this is coming from a group of drinkers, partiers and generally rough-andtumble- men!!).

Annas2013

You have to make the choice that is best for you.  I am not.  And my FI knows that.  Yes, I do wish I had waited.  It led to a lot more pain and heartache than waiting would have.  Plus I do wish I could have saved myself just for him.  I wish so much that he could have been my first and only, I don't know if he really knows how much.  But I made my choices and learned from them.  I applaud you all for waiting, though.  It's worth it if you and your fiance truly feel like that's the right thing to do.

ravenray

You aren't alone but in two weeks I won't be lol.  It's really hard but I believe it will be worth it  

fpaemp2011

I think TK ate this thread, because I can't see any posts.  But, I just wanted to assure you that you are not the only one.  H and I both were on our wedding night.

GJones27

Yeah, I can't see the earlier posts, either.  But don't worry... many people wait until marriage.  They just keep quiet about it.  

RebeccaJac

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_i-cant-be-the-only-virgin?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:a551d4f5-cf41-4178-acd9-3a33ca7d23acPost:7e140cd8-5512-4c30-b55f-daf3863adafb">Re: i can't be the only virgin...</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah, I can't see the earlier posts, either.  But don't worry... many people wait until marriage.  <strong>They just keep quiet about it.</strong>  
Posted by GJones27[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Ha. I don't. I feel like it's something to be proud of. Maybe that's why it's become so uncommon for people to remain virgins, because those who believe in it stay silent and then others feel as though no one waits anymore. </div>

GJones27

True.  I try to imply it in alternative ways, as I'm just too shy to talk publicly about these things. I'll be sure to emphasize that my husband and I lived in separate places before marrying, and that we never traveled alone together.  If people ask me, I'll be honest.  I just don't parade it.  But I certainly admire people who share these things.  That's why Kaka is my favorite celebrity ever.    

azdancer8

DH and I were both virgins before marriage as well. It's not anything to be ashamed of, rather to be proud that you made that commitment to God and yourselves. And bonus, no worrying about STDs.

bsims726

I commend and respect you all for retaining your purity til marriage. Society today seems to put virginity in a negative perspective while promiscuity and fornication are seen as the norm (What a shame! Should definitely be the other way around!) My fiance and I are born-again virgins and we're very proud of ourselves. Some people we know, who discover our commitment, look at us oddly and basically ask "what is the point? why stop if you've already started?" We remind them that there is a point and He is God. Why should we continue down a path of sin and guaranteed destruction, when we have a chance at redemption and to do our Father's will?

GunzNRoses213

I'm kinda in the same boat with the post above. We are waiting for each other right now till the wedding and he does not want to move into the house before the wedding because of my 8 [ will be 9] yearl old ... I'm kinda on the fence about it I think he could be on the sofa or in another bedroom without having that problem...It just depends on logistics of his job but he thinks it's kinda cheating to live together before the ceremony... I think it's cute but a few months isnt a big deal to me ... He said "people will talk "... Well if we explaine the situtaion then i think they would see the reasons why he would be there.. [ Childcare, livng expenses etc ] ...

Annas2013

I respect all of you that waited.  I didn't and to be honest, that's something I wish I had done.  I learned a lot from my choices, and I do regret them.  That's something I can never give my FI no matter how much I wish I could.  There's nothing wrong with being a virgin until your wedding night.  I don't judge people who wait, nor do I judge people that don't.  It's a personal choice, and as long as you believe in your choice, then who cares what everyone else thinks.  

RebeccaJac

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_i-cant-be-the-only-virgin?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:a551d4f5-cf41-4178-acd9-3a33ca7d23acPost:11847085-293f-475e-a9db-8be17c910fcf">Re: i can't be the only virgin...</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm kinda in the same boat with the post above. We are waiting for each other right now till the wedding and he does not want to move into the house before the wedding because of my 8 [ will be 9] yearl old ... I'm kinda on the fence about it I think he could be on the sofa or in another bedroom without having that problem...It just depends on logistics of his job but he thinks it's kinda cheating to live together before the ceremony... I think it's cute but a few months isnt a big deal to me ... He said "people will talk "... Well if we explaine the situtaion then i think they would see the reasons why he would be there.. [ Childcare, livng expenses etc ] ...
Posted by GunzNRoses213[/QUOTE]

<div>There's no way we'd be able to handle that. He'd end up sleeping in my room in no time. We had to set a cerfew for ourselves because we couldnt even handle being near each other past a certain time! Maybe we're a little less self controled than most haha</div>

BekahL90

Long distance relationships are terribly hard, but at this point I'm glad we live in different states! There's always been the temptation to go farther than we should but hasn't really been a problem for us until the last couple weeks. Holy smokes! We want each other so bad! We keep having to remind ourselves that even though we're getting married SOON, we're not married YET. 

GunzNRoses213

Yes I know it would be difficult ... But I already know he snores... We've had vacations and I stay over when I work a 2nd shift into a 1st shift ... We sleep and that's that.

DramaGeek

H and I were also both virgins until we got married.  No regrets here!

mrandmrsbrist

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_i-cant-be-the-only-virgin?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:a551d4f5-cf41-4178-acd9-3a33ca7d23acPost:80401a33-97ec-478c-be6d-09f102737a0d">Re: i can't be the only virgin...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: i can't be the only virgin... : There's no way we'd be able to handle that. He'd end up sleeping in my room in no time. We had to set a cerfew for ourselves because we couldnt even handle being near each other past a certain time! Maybe we're a little less self controled than most haha
Posted by RebeccaJac[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Right there with ya, sister. Well...I *was* right there with ya ;)</div><div>
</div><div>But no, really. It sounds like you and your FI are on the right track with the curfew, though. We needed supervision a lot of the time. While H had a roommate, he was usually holed up in his room. Public places were our friend! Hold on, though. Your wedding is right around the corner!

</div>

RyansBelovedBride

Haha, I echo the long distance thing. Actually, I'm pretty sure a lot of God's reason for having us live in different countries is this! Ryan and I both have strong libidos and have messed up in the past (I never did vaginal intercouse, but I did mess up in past relationships) But Ryan and I both repented of our pasts and have tried hard to keep our relationship pure.

catwine

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_i-cant-be-the-only-virgin?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:a551d4f5-cf41-4178-acd9-3a33ca7d23acPost:b632d475-6a1b-4a5a-aea6-421020e7db05">Re: i can't be the only virgin...</a>:
[QUOTE]Long distance relationships are terribly hard, but at this point I'm glad we live in different states! There's always been the temptation to go farther than we should but hasn't really been a problem for us until the last couple weeks. Holy smokes! <strong>We want each other so bad! We keep having to remind ourselves that even though we're getting married SOON, we're not married YET. 
</strong>Posted by BekahL90[/QUOTE]

haha, kinda laughed at this in a good way:) I don't even know you but I'm so excited you're getting married so soon!!!

my fiance and i both feel like we've become more affectionate, but not inappropriate, since being engaged. i always want to be as close to him as possible and being apart is becoming harder (we live 30mins apart but only see each other on weekends becuase of our work schedules.  although, he has been spending lunch hours with me!).

lulubella2011

You aren't.  DH and I were both virgins until we married.  We had dated about 2 years.  We have no regrets.  Sure it's hard; the flesh is always strong.  But it was worth it to wait.

jcsangelpen

[QUOTE] We had to set a cerfew for ourselves because we couldnt even handle being near each other past a certain time! Maybe we're a little less self controled than most haha
Posted by RebeccaJac[/QUOTE]

<div>I applaud you for making that comittment, and no, I doubt you're more self-controlled than most. While my bf and I are still both virgins in the technical sense, I deeply regret how far we have pushed the boundaries, and know it will affect our relationship in the future. I would encourage everyone to do whatever you have to, in order to not even mess around, because once it starts, it is so so hard to go back again.</div>

asherdasher89

I'm a virgin too! My fiance and I are waiting until marriage! I'm getting a little nervous about it but I heard its normal. Congrat's on waiting!! I hear theres not many of us out there

jsu7729n

I am too. My FI is a born again virgin...he hasn't had sex in 6 years, and we have been together for 4. We are waiting until marriage, and I CAN'T WAIT! I am so excited to experience that with him. I often feel like I am the only one, too, but I'm glad to see all of you that have waited as well. I know it won't be like how it is in the movies, but I think it will be an amazing night that I am definitely looking forward to!