this nagging little ache...(a little long)

catwine

i've always wanted to be a mother.  i went through a phase in high school where I decided I didn't want kids of my own, but I wanted to adopt.  I met my fiance in college and realized I do want children of my own.  It's something my fiance and i have talked about and we decided we'd like to have kids a few years after we are married because we want  to enjoy our time alone but together.  In January my I felt my cousins baby kick inside her and realized I want that so badly. 

I know being parents is hard and time consuming, but my longing for a baby keeps growing.  A couple ladies at my office recently had babies and I feel such joy seeing them but also an ache for one of my own. 
I have no idea why I feel this way and I'm scared that I may not be able to have children.  There is really no reason for that fear becuase, as far as I know, i'm healthy and capable. 
I still  want to wait a few years after I'm married to start TTC because I want to enjoy my husband without distractions.  Plus, i want to work a lot so I can save enough that I don't have to work once we have kids. 

has anybody else experienced feelings similar to this?

mrandmrsbrist

It's normal. It's called baby fever and it just gets worse after you're married. I really didn't think mine could get worse after I got married...but it did. We were avoiding pregnancy using Fertility Awareness Method (charting) because of school before we found out I had PCOS. The more we talked about it the more H realized he wanted the same thing.

*hugs* to you! I remember feeling exactly like you do now!

GJones27

I started getting baby fever after I started dating my husband. It is getting worse by the year. Same with my husband. I do think it is very instinctual. I seriously smile and stare at babies whenever I see them!

catwine

I'm glad I'm not alone!  And that I have other women to talk to:)  My best friends live in other cities and don't understand my desire for a family. 

naomikb

Baby fever is normal!

If you're worried about potential fertility issues you can start charting early and avoid hormonal BC, get an idea of what your system is doing and help diagnose any issues before you actually start TTC.  It might ease your mind, but it may also increase baby fever...

Ash61612

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_this-nagging-little-achea-little-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:c0431ba5-c1ac-4119-aa27-cc98f06c6d66Post:55ac6e7b-6535-43b6-ae6a-c813b1230907">Re:this nagging little ache...a little long</a>:
[QUOTE]I started getting baby fever after I started dating my husband. It is getting worse by the year. Same with my husband<strong>. I do think it is very instinctual. I seriously smile and stare at babies whenever I see them!</strong>
Posted by GJones27[/QUOTE]
whenever I am out and about and see a baby, I go "awww, baby" DH has gotten used to it and just grins at me. 

SugarFoote

I think FI has baby fever. He wants children so badly. 0-2 is fine with me. I like babies and all but I would much rather be an aunt than a mother. Babies are fine but once they get older they get on my nerves really bad. I know that sounds terrible, but I have bad nerves anyway. FI says he is fine if we don't have children but I know that isn't true. So 1 kid will probably be it for us...

GunzNRoses213

I have my 9 year old but now that I've met my FI we would like our/his own . He is down right silly with me everytime he sees a cute baby he says " the baby is looking at you ! " .. " Look at her pigtails !! ] Seriously I just wanna hit him some times !!! We have to wait till my schooling is over and hope one dosnt happen before that obviously God would be ok with it but we'd have to adjust... We have enough adjusting as it is the first year or so ... But I didnt want my kids so far apart but obviousy that goal is shot at least for my son and the next one ... But after our first the next one wont be too far after we hope/ Lord Willing

My poor FI keeps saying it's fine if the Lord returns for us but he'd really like to have his own kids before that happens and Lord knows I want a girl ....

Trust me you want the time to yourselves ...We will never have much of that with my 9 year old ... ENJOY it ...

LeahVB2011

I didn't have baby fever until after I got married. There's 3 siblings between our two imediate families and so far there's been 3 grandsons born in 3 years so part of my baby fever is wanting to give my nephews cousins to play with whenever we see them. Another part is that H is turing 26 this year and would like us to have our first child before he's 30. Overall, I think it's that next stage in life and wanting to jump to it. And I understand your fertility worries. My mom had 2nd degree inferitilty and my sister has had a number of miscarriages so I sometimes worry that I will have something similiar but at the end of the day it's in God's hands. H and I have been married just over a year and (Lord willing) we will start TTC next year some time near our 2nd anniversary. 

joe&cassie

I have the same feelings and we are two years from marriage!  Part of it is that I have a 7 month old god daughter that my best friend and her hubby had in November... There is a 16 month old who lives next door to FI and adorable!  Also FI has a daughter but the custody situation isn't great right now so I'm terrified that his ex will run off and disappear with his daughter and we won't be able to find her.  I'm terrified that God gave me my FI and his daughter because maybe we won't be able to have kids.  FI is 31 and has had chemo treatments and I'm worried that one of the side effects is infertility.  But it is the lord's will either way.

GJones27

Joe&Casse, that is really tough regarding your husband's situation.  I hope everything works out when you two decide to have children. 

GunzNRoses213

And now i had a dream that I had twins name Peter and Paul ... but my fiance refused to name a child after a Beatle even though it is also after an apostle.... LOL ... he says I named my child after a Beatle already.... [my sons name is Harrison ] ... He likes normal names and that just isnt my scene... LOL ... It's gonna be a battle ...;p

joe&cassie

Gjones- thanks.  I know that whatever God's plan is that things will end up find.  There are always other options like adoption.

GunzNRoses that is hilarious!  I don't think that my FI would ever have made the connection beyond the apostle. 

catwine

I'm not really sure what charting is or how to do it. 

I think that hopefully, since god gave us the desire to be parents and have children of our own, we will be able to conceive and I'll be able to carry without problems.

I've already got names picked out, haha!  and of course, my fiance has already turned down some of my more unusual choices!

fpaemp2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_this-nagging-little-achea-little-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:c0431ba5-c1ac-4119-aa27-cc98f06c6d66Post:a69ed0e2-e1d3-4639-99fd-c88325e63433">Re: this nagging little ache...(a little long)</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm not really sure what charting is or how to do it. 
Posted by christinavy[/QUOTE]<div>This is super basic:</div><div>
<div>FAM (fertility awareness method) and NFP (natural family planning) is a method using charting your basal body temperature (BBT), changes in cervical mucous, and cervical position to determine your fertile days.  There are different methods of charting. Some are mucous-only, while sympto-thermal uses BBT to confirm ovulation. Most women are fertile for 7ish days each month.  Sperm can survive in fertile cervical fluid for about 5 days and an egg is viable for about 48 hours after it is released from the ovary.  FAM and NFP can be used to either avoid or acheive pregnancy.  FAM uses barriers (condoms, diaphragms, spermicides) during the fertile time and NFP utilizes abstinence.</div><div>
</div><div>DH and I used NFP to avoid for 4 months before we decided to TTC.  I started charting in January 2011 and we married that June so I would know what I was doing and what my "pattern" is.  <em>Although, NFP and FAM are <strong>NOT </strong>history based.  You take each cycle as it comes.  Knowing your basic fertility pattern, though, can help you figure out when you are most likely to be fertile and if you may have an issue with luteal phase length.</em></div><div>
</div><div>We knew from charting that I ovulate between days 15-18, not day 14, so we knew when our best chance of conceiving was.  It took us 3 months to conceive.</div><div>
</div><div>You can get more information from the book, "Taking Charge of Your Fertility," <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.tcoyf.com,">www.tcoyf.com,</a> or <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.christianfamilyplanning.net">www.christianfamilyplanning.net</a></div></div>

catwine

wow, that sounds complicated!  i know right now that NFP is not for us...we want to be able to have sex whenever we want.  i know that we won't during my period, but i also know that only lasts about 4 days while on birth control pills (which i used a few years ago for acne).

fpaemp2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_this-nagging-little-achea-little-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:c0431ba5-c1ac-4119-aa27-cc98f06c6d66Post:e93193ef-5db6-489e-bbbd-00b1dd21716f">Re: this nagging little ache...(a little long)</a>:
[QUOTE]wow, that sounds complicated! 
Posted by christinavy[/QUOTE]<div>It's really not complicated at all, especially once you learn the rules, and using the charting software on <a href="http://www.tcoyf.com" rel="nofollow">www.tcoyf.com</a> or <a href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com," rel="nofollow">www.fertilityfriend.com,</a> or even an app like OvuView, makes it unbelievably easy.  TCOYF is a pretty large book, and it can seem intimidating, but the chapter on avoiding was super simple.  I just kept my thermometer right next to my alarm clock so I could take my temp as soon as it went off,and checking the other signs just becomes natural. </div><div>
</div><div>I've never been on HBC, but I know some other girls have switched, and they said remembering to temp was no more difficult than remembering to take their pill.
</div>

RebeccaJac

No  baby fever here! Granted, we've been married all of 2 weeks. I have a feeling we'll have a surprise baby, but we're trying to avoid it!  

mrandmrsbrist

Charting (FAM/NFP) is awesome. I highly recommend it. I was super worried about it being complicated and it really wasn't. Both my H and I figured it out really quickly.

azdancer8

I dreamed the other night that I had a little girl. I was so, SO happy! We want kids, but not just yet. God willing, we'll get our house built first and a little money saved up while I can still work (I plan to be a stay at home mom). But I definitely also have my fears about being a little older TTC and the possiblities of dirth defects and miscarriage. Also, I'm not sure how I would feel if I passed my hearing loss on to a child.

sessionswedding

I'm supposedly pretty much unable to get pregnant without medical help (like fertility drugs or IVF), which I've known for years.  I've gotten way too used to being married without kids, and I'm at a point now where I'm not sure if I ever want any.  DH wants one and done, so in 4 or 5 years we might start TTC for just one.

ETA:  Though I will say that seeing MrandMrsBrist get pregnant so soon after her diagnosis has brightened my perspective on PCOS and fertility odds. 

jcsangelpen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_this-nagging-little-achea-little-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:c0431ba5-c1ac-4119-aa27-cc98f06c6d66Post:55ac6e7b-6535-43b6-ae6a-c813b1230907">Re:this nagging little ache...a little long</a>:
[QUOTE]I started getting baby fever after I started dating my husband. It is getting worse by the year. Same with my husband. I do think it is very instinctual. I seriously smile and stare at babies whenever I see them!
Posted by GJones27[/QUOTE]

<div>I feel exactly the same way. Once I started getting serious with my bf, I began to realize that I really really wanted to be a wife and mother. It has only gotten worse, and now that I know marriage is in my future, the ache is always there!</div>