Groomsman drama

ricia

We have six bridesmaids and groomsmen in our bridal party... we chose our closest friends to be involved, friends we know we can count on to be there for us no matter what....

Welll weddings really have a way in bringing out people truse character.. any how thats anlother story..

One of the groomsmen the tallest one, also the one with the biggest feet ( i said that to reinforce the following) we had all the suits ordered along with all the shoes so everyone will be uniformed... Now my FI close friend from church is saying he cannot attend since he works on one of the smaller private islands and his celebrity boss is coming in from US/Europe on the night of the wedding... therefore he cannot attend... this is my FI friend since they were in diapers.... Gm (head gardener) says his manager said he can either choose to attend a party or keep his job.. which i think th emanager is mean... I do not know if the GM is afraid to state that it is not just another normal wedding but the fact that he is in the bridal party and the clothes are already ordered etc.. plus he has the biggest feet either 13 or 14 where are we going to find someone to fit that ...

everything was going soooo well until this ... any advice how to handle this ... FI is crushed that his friends will not be there ... there is a group of them from church four of them and the other two cannot make it for valid reasons... one is on a scholarship attachment in the US and because of VISA restrictions cannot leave and the other is also unable to come for other valid reasons.


any advice

fpaemp2011

Yuck. I don't have any advice on how to fix it.  As much as FI and I want our entire bridal party (and guest list) to be able to attend, I don't think either of us would want any of them to lose their jobs over it, as I'm sure you and your FI don't want the GM to lose his.  Some bosses are just not nice people.  I'm sorry you have to deal with this.  I'll be praying for grace and understanding for all in this situation.

GJones27

It sounds like a valid reason.  If he'll be fired for leaving his post, I guess he doesn't have a choice.  I would just be gracious and let him off the hook, thanking him for investing his time and money in trying to be a groomsman.  I mean, if he bought the attire, then he obviously had all intentions of coming.  I know it's tough, but sadly it's fairly common. 

ricia

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_groomsman-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:d29cc700-bda3-485f-b731-f90d582e0a8dPost:2c8f93a6-0d69-4ba2-bb0a-9e64c4c84010">Re: Groomsman drama</a>:
[QUOTE]It sounds like a valid reason.  If he'll be fired for leaving his post, I guess he doesn't have a choice.  I would just be gracious and let him off the hook, thanking him for investing his time and money in trying to be a groomsman.  I mean, if he bought the attire, then he obviously had all intentions of coming.  I know it's tough, but sadly it's fairly common. 
Posted by GJones27[/QUOTE]

Thanks for responding
the friend has not paid for his suit and shoes as yet ... so the cost lie with us.. What i am saying even if the boss comes in the night FI friends services will not be required until the following morning... i think the manager is just being a jerk...

AllAboutTheBenjamin

I think it's a crappy situation but even though it's his best friend - if his job is on the line, I don't blame him for ducking out of the wedding.

Sucks about the clothes too but unfortunately you'll just be down a groomsman.  Aside from the fact I doubt you'd find someone to fit the clothes, as you put it - replacing a member of the wedding party is just bad form.  Not many people would be honored to be a second string friend or a "backup choice," so just be one groomsman less if he can't be there.

*hugs*

iamjoesgurl

I'm sorry you are having to deal with this drama.  I would say that if I was in the same situation, I would just go ahead without this groomsman and pay for his suit/shoes.  I think if I was in his situation, I would probably be very disappointed that I cannot keep my commitment to my friend, but if I needed my job, I would end up doing the same thing.  Unfortunately you can't control the situation so at this point, you just need to try to make the best of it.  Again, I'm sorry.  It really does stink.

And out of curiosity, where do you live?  Sounds like you must be somewhere internationally since one of your friends is in the US and can't leave.

EJCart

What a mess! I'm so sorry this is happening.  my only advice would be to pray about it and let GM know you'll miss him

ricia

Tahnks for the advice and best wishes... I truly do not want to replace any of our friends in the wedding party, the question is now what do I do with the extra girl who is without a groomsman?

I am living in the Caribbean St. Vincent and the Grenadines...

GJones27

Sorry to hear that!  My bad for not understanding.  The proper thing, ideally, for him to do is reimburse you for the cost of ordering his stuff.  Unfortunately, you can't ask him to do that, though.  Yeah, it stinks.  If it helps, two of our groomsmen backed out, too, and now we have to have find two replacements. 

ricia

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_groomsman-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:d29cc700-bda3-485f-b731-f90d582e0a8dPost:556327a2-cf7e-4877-a973-43014ac580af">Re: Groomsman drama</a>:
[QUOTE]Sorry to hear that!  My bad for not understanding.  The proper thing, ideally, for him to do is reimburse you for the cost of ordering his stuff.  Unfortunately, you can't ask him to do that, though.  Yeah, it stinks.  If it helps, two of our groomsmen backed out, too, and now we have to have find two replacements. 
Posted by GJones27[/QUOTE]

WOW... two grroomsmen  are you kidding me ... this really sucks...  however the suit was paid for by us until he reimburses us .. now that it is unsure if he will be a part the loss is on our side...

heyimbren

You can have the groomsman walk 2 girls down. A lot of people do that, it's very common. My sentiments are the same as AATB- don't replace them. It's very unfortunate he can't make it, and his boss does sound unfair, but things like that happen. WP do not need to be even- they're about those people that you're closest to. A replacement is just that a "replacement" or a fill-in. Second string. I'm very sorry he can't make it though, that is disappointing.

cmalchow

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2011-weddings_nwr-work-related-aw?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:647Discussion:1f723b6b-56b9-4951-8fd7-6c0b4c31b27dPost:6c3b1945-1e39-4b11-b30c-93b73ef2c0cb">Re: NWR: Work Related AW</a>:
[QUOTE]That's awesome, Colleen!! So glad you're getting recognized, and rewarded for it! Love it!! <strong>And, what is the law</strong>? (If you're allowed to tell us : )
Posted by greenkitty23[/QUOTE]

well...it's not that exciting (and might make my awesomeness seem less so!) but recently the workers' compensation law changed which essentially is cutting off the medical treatment for thousands of injured workers, so the bills that were introduced into the senate and assembly would repeal the retroactive application of the Medical Treatment Guidelines, thus allowing those injured prior to 12/1/10 to treat as they have treated since being injured.

cmalchow

crap!  somehow this ended up here...i have no idea how!  sorry!