Prayers please

ochemjenn

I had a panic attack this morning and other one this afternoon.  I tried to suffocate myself, but I was too impatient.  I'm a complete failure, and I just want out.

sprtychick10

Please don't say you are a complete failure. God loves you and we all love you on this board. Is there someone you can call to help you?

AllyG303

Just said a prayer for you.  Hang in there and let us know if we can help in any other way!

ochemjenn

I called a suicide hotline. She suggested I call my psychiatrist to move up my appointment.  I'm still waiting to here back from my psychiatrist, but worst case scenerio I keep my appointment for Friday.  Last time we talked about how I always have a plan and a few backups because that's how I learned to cope growing up.  I'd been trying to not be so deadline oriented, and it backfired.  Now I've moved on to worse case scenerio, which we also talked about last time.

On Friday I felt relazed and carefree; it felt SO weird.  I feel like I wasn't able to function without adhering to a list and being anxious.

AllyG303

Do you see your psych regularly?  What about other people/support groups?  There are all kinds of support groups around for anxiety and depression.  If you don't go to one already, maybe talk to your psych or a close friend about helping you find one.

SuMmErKuTiE

You're definitely in my prayers Jenn. Try and stay strong!

And ditto Ashley, you are definitely not a complete failure. God, your DH, and this whole board loves and cares about you and your well being. Always remember that when you're feeling down, and don't ever hesitate to vent your feelings and frustrations to us.

mrandmrsbrist

I'm so sorry you had panic attacks. One is enough to put out for a couple of days, but two? I'm so sorry. I'm praying hard for you right now!

I hope you can get into your psych...! Do they have an emergency number you can call?

sprtychick10

Hope your psych calls you back soon. I agree with the suggestion of the support groups. Praying for you girl!!

AshNoel8

You are not a failure and the girls are right- God loves you and we are all here for you. You are a beautiful person and you won't let your medical condition control you. I am praying! 

ochemjenn

I couldn't get in to my psychiatrist early, so I'll go tomorrow.  It's going to be a hard session.

I talked with a friend online about random stuff then talked to DH when he got home.  I looked online and found a couple of support groups for people with mental illness - finally a benefit of living in a big city.

Usually after a panic attack I don't feel well, but I felt particularly bad yesterday.  It was the start of some sort of head cold.  I feel like my head is going to explode, but my throat felt better after eating ice cream for breakfast. 

Thanks for the prayers, ladies.  I've been praying a lot lately.  I know I can't do this on my own.

AllyG303

Oh I'm so glad to see you back on and posting!  I was worried!  I'm glad that you were able to talk to a friend and your DH at least.  I'll be praying for a good appointment for you tomorrow!

sprtychick10

Jenn, I am so glad you found some support groups. Are you planning on going to them? I hope the appt goes well tomorrow. Praying for you!!

ochemjenn

I couldn't go to my therapy session this morning.  I started vomitting (sorry, TMI) before it was light out this morning.  On the plus side I'm not congested like I was yesterday.  Sitting up made me feel sick, so there was no way I could drive.  FIL and DH (both doctors) think it's a viral infection. 

I've started feeling a lot better in the past couple of hours, and I'm trying to finish an assignment I have due today.  I even made it to the kitchen for crackers when DH gave me the ok to eat a little.  I guess this is one of the benefits of having a small apartment.

DramaGeek

My heart is breaking for you.  I hadn't posted yet because, while I've been there, I don't know what to say.  Just know that I'm praying and I'm here if you want to talk.

iamjoesgurl

I'm sorry I missed all of this.  I'll be praying for you.  God is a big God and He loves you so much.  Hopefully knowing this will help get you through.