The (F)MIL

amongthelilies25

I am just curious how everyone gets along with their (F)MILs? is it good? bad? could be better?

iamjoesgurl

I get along with her okay but sometimes she says/does things that are off-putting.  Like the last time she visited, I was making dinner and I was trying to be a good hostess and kept suggesting that she just relax while I made dinner.  (I didn't need her help anyway.)  She kept saying things about wanting to help or feeling bad that she wasn't helping.  Then she made a comment about being sorry that she couldn't help and that she was just trying to annoy me because isn't that what MILs are supposed to do.  It was weird.

She is actually visiting for the weekend and I said a prayer as I went to open the door tonight that this weekend would go well.  

I am just thankful that she and i get along for the most part and I've accepted that she will never be like a friend to me.  Oh, and also thankful that she doesn't live nearby.

hanson2B

My FMIL is pretty awesome.  She's been really welcoming and accpeting of me.  Sometimes it's a little difficult just because of variations in family dynamics, and she's a bit of a tomboy, where I am used to my mom, who is a girly-girl (in a grown-up way).  But I feel my relationship with my FMIL is getting stronger all the time, and I see her as another great Christian example in my life.

loves2shop4shoes

My FMIL is awesome.  I have a better relationship with her (by far) than I do with my own mother.  She's very laid back, easy to get along with, and funny.

Although, I will say, I've always been a bit intimidated by me, because she's super tall, an amazon, and could totally kick my butt.

SoonToBeGenao

My FMIL and I get along so well! I was nervous at first because FI is an only child and I didn't want her to think i was stealing him away from her and stuff. But we really get along so nicely. She calls me her "daughter" and we've shared many dinners, phone conversations, shopping trips etc. I honesly am so blessed with all of my inlaws. I love them like I love my own family and the feeling is mutual.

StacyJenniges

I get along with my FMIL great.  I'm really thankful for her.  That doesn't mean that she doesn't do things that annoy me she does but when I get annoyed I then think of all the complaints some of my friends have about their mother in laws and I take a breath and remind myself "if this is the worst I have to deal with then I'm fine" 

I do know that she is going to be a great help in our marraige.  My fiance's parents came very close to divorce and found a way to work it out.  I know they will help us with the issues we will end up having.  She will also be a great help when we have sick kids.  My fiance had a brain tumor when he was 5.  He wasn't suppose to survive and was in the hospital for a year.  I know if I have sick kids she will be my strength.

DramaGeek

We used to get along really well.  Then they realized how different H was from the way he was raised and blamed me and my college-pushing ways.  MIL actually said to H that college ruined him.  If I had a dollar for everytime I've heard her say, "That's not the way you were raised!" while glaring at me I'd be a very rich woman. A few weeks ago we were having a friendly theological debate and I finally gave up because they're answer to everything was "you should ask your pastor."  MIL called the next day to apologize and I refused to talk to her because she has this way of apologizing that is actually a guilt trip to try to get you to apologize to her, and I had nothing to apologize for.  I made H talk to her and he set her straight about his new ways of thinking a) not being new, he just never brought it up before and b) not being my fault, especially since he and I don't even have the same thoughts/beliefs/philosophy on everything!

The real straw that broke the camel's back was when they called us freaking out about something SIL did with her child and the other SIL's kid. They were freaking because they didn't know what to do and wanted us to fix it for them.  It was really bad, child endangerment stuff, and i'm a  mandatory reporter, so I told them I'd have to report it and they tried to stop me.  H got into it pretty bad with his dad, and then after I reported it they were very angry with us, but especially me.  They didn't speak to us for a long time and it was really superficial when they did start speaking to us again.  Ever since then, things have been really tense and weird.  That was a little over a year ago, so I have hope that it might eventually go back to normal, but for now between the reporting of SIL to DHS and the differences in our theologies (and their inability to accept that), we stick to very safe conversations like the weather.

ravenray

Eh I get along pretty well now with my hopefully FMIL.  We really didn't in the beginning.  Like at all.  She was telling her son to break up with me (now that was partial his fault because he was telling her about our fights but he doesn't do that anymore).  I didn't take that very well.  She also really didn't like me for helping the BF convert to Orthodoxy.  She really doesn't like Orthodoxy, despite knowing nothing about it and wouldn't even come to his baptism   She is really selfish.  But now we get along pretty well.  We can talk, and I ask her how her day is and tell her a bit about my life.  It works out.  She will never be a friend, but things work out fine now.  We don't hate each other anymore, I like her now.  It is about accepting things will never change and getting use to that.

Is something up amongthelillies?

sprtychick10

I get along wonderfully with my FMIL. She is like another mother do me. She is a strong Christian and is actually helping me grow in my faith and role in church (she helped motivate me to do VBS this summer).

I moved away from my home town to be closer to DF so our relationship can grow and the fact that my FIL's were so welcoming and helpful made the move a lot easier then I thought it would be. 

GJones27

We get along ok.  We can't communicate much, as she's Brazilian and doesn't speak much English.  But she is super sweet and likes me.  After she met me the first time, she sent me a card in English that said, "I like you very much."  It was very cute and sweet.  I really wish I could speak Portuguese so I could communicate more with her.

FaithCaitlin

FMIL and I get along pretty well! I like her and hope she likes me!!

perkins81

We get along ok I guess, but definitely don't agree on a lot of things!!! But the hardest part right now is that she recently started talking with someone online and now they're already planning their wedding (even though they haven't even met yet!!). Neither she nor I are officially engaged yet, but she keeps talking to me about her wedding plans!  The other day she was showing me the types of rings she liked and was so excited. I tried to be excited for her, but just politely said, oh that looks nice. . . . It's so hard for me b/c I am happy for her, but I try not to talk about rings yet since BF and I aren't officially engaged and I want to save the excitement for when it really happens. I'm just trying to be supportive of her, but it's hard when she talks about her wedding plans, but I'm trying not to talk about mine yet. Oh well. I just try to smile and get along -

sessionswedding

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_fmil?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:e2d22b21-2464-4eee-8933-a1b55f4cfb9dPost:a4ffb6b2-5dbf-41bc-a821-33c35598a369">Re: The (F)MIL</a>:
[QUOTE]My FMIL is awesome.  I have a better relationship with her (by far) than I do with my own mother.  She's very laid back, easy to get along with, and funny.
Posted by loves2shop4shoes[/QUOTE]
My situation is very similar to this.  FMIL and I are not close like best friends, but we do get along well.  She and the FSILs say "I love you" to me and treat me like another sister.  The only thing we've butt heads about so far is the number of guests she wants to invite to our wedding.

AllyG303

We got along great in the beginning years...and now we just tolerate each other.  We don't agree on most things, and we DO NOT have similar beliefs.  I think things started going downhill when FI got baptised about 3 years ago...she probably thinks I pushed Christianity upon him even though I didn't. She just couldn't understand why he wouldn't put "spiritual" on his dogtags when he was in the Air Force instead of "Christian".  Or that he moved here for me instead of staying near their hometown. I could go on and on about things she's done in the past 7 years to rub me the wrong way.  Luckily though, she lives in another state so we only have to really talk the few times she comes out to visit.

I wish it was different, but it is what it is and I'm just glad it's not to the point where we can't talk at all.

mrandmrsbrist

I have a terrible relationship with my parents, so when FI and I started dating I expected to not have a relationship with his parents, but his mom took an instant liking to me. We get along great. She had three boys and has said many times that it's great to have a girl around (FI is the first to get married and even have a serious relationship).

rachelea

My FMIL and I get along great. Most recent evidence was when she sent me a card for my birthday last week so wrote that it is a blessing having me as a daughter. Both FI and I have very similar families, they raised as so much alike and have a lot of similar personality traits. I can't go 2 or 3 days without talking to my own mom so seeing as my FMIL is so much like my mom, yeah its good

AshNoel8

My FMIL and I get along great! She is so caring and loving. I wrote her an e-mail and signed it "Love, you future daughter-in-law" and she wrote back, "I love the sound of that!" FI says she like me a lot. Also, she bought me a tote bag for Christmas with my NEW initials on it, so I guess she's happy that I am taking their last name! (although I can't use the bag until after we are married haha- I am excited to use it!) 

kitkat610

FMIL and I get along great. We probably talk as much if not more than she and FI do. We have very similar views it seems like, and most importantly when it comes to FI.
She has been so welcoming, and loves that I am her daughter now. So much so that she gave me her wedding ring.

amongthelilies25

thats so great! it sounds like the majority of us get along well with you FMIL!!! (: 

i get along GREAT with my FMIL. because i lived with FI's family while my FI was in school for 9 months. i had a great opportunity to get to know his family apart from him. they loved me as a daughter of their own and not just as a future daughter-in-law. My FMIL says all the time that she loves me and that she has adopted me into the family (and this was MONTHS before FI even proposed). She told me and FI that no matter what happened to us... i was still her daughter. lol. 

it was important to me to have a good relationship with my FMIL because i do not have a good relationship with my mother. 

my relationship with my FMIL is VERY different from others i think because of me living with them without my FI even in town. i didn't just visit them...i literally became apart of their family. I went on family vacation with them (without FI) and stuff like that. i am very very greatful for her. She is a wonderful Christian woman who is strong and courageous and she is teaching me the same. 

Like all relationships we will butt heads at times but at the end of the day she is my momma. (: