Christian Weddings
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Don't know what to do for gratuities and tips

Starting to gather money and it's making me crazy. Final payments are already piling up and with tips, I don't even want to think about it. 5%, 15%? What did the married gals do, or what do the engaged girls plan to do? Advice would be appreciated. All our vendors are grey areas at this point, flowers, photographer, hair, dj, reception venue, etc.

Re: Don't know what to do for gratuities and tips

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    edited December 2011
    Our reception venue is also doing all of our food and we are tipping 15%.

    The cake is a one-lady business and we pay her directly, so no tip.

    Our photographer isn't charging us, so likewise, we are giving hime a $500 "thank you."

    Our hair is a set fee that my mom knows and she is planning to tip about 10 to 15%.  One lady is doing all of our hair, but she is part of a company and we want to make sure she sees the majority of the "fees" that are charged for doing the BM's and my hair.

    Our flowers -we're ordering bulk florals and our decorator is doing our flowers for us in addition to decorating the church and the reception site.  I think we're paying her about $500 for her services, plus the cost of the flowers.  She offered it free but we just can't see her doing all of that work for nothing.  

    There are some good posts on the Etiquette board about tips too, if you have a moment to read.  They get mixed in amongst the other threads, so you may need to do a search on the board to find them.  

    Hope that helps!  I'm curious too about the 'marrieds' on here and how much they tipped for certain services.  :-) 
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    edited December 2011

    FMIL and FMIL (future Mema in law) are paying for the dinner for the guests at the restaurant but I'd imagine they'll tip 15-20%.

    The photographer we've already paid and have a set contract payment and things so no tip there.

    The hair stylist is a girl like a sister to me, so no tip there. 

    The baker lady we're just buying the cake so no tip there either.

    And the venue is outdoors, and we've paid the deposit, so no tip there as well.

    I made the bouquets, bouts, and corsages with fake flowers, so no tipping there unless I want to tip myself.

    Not a lot of tipping going on for us.  :P



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    iamjoesgurliamjoesgurl member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Our photographer worked for himself, the cake baker owned her own shop and we picked up our own flowers so I didn't tip any of them.  Our venue included the gratuity in the cost so I think that was a total of 18%.  We didn't have a videographer or DJ so no tips for them.  I tipped the hair stylist about 15% on the cost of the updos.

    Other than that, we gave money to other people who were friends and doing music, officiating, etc.

    I can't remember any others.  I go this link from the sticky on the Etiquette board if you want to check that out.

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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_dont-gratuities-tips?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:ef8502e7-10f5-4e14-9d8e-98d4dba30144Post:d84b4202-850d-4f13-ab3d-bf5583a69645">Re: Don't know what to do for gratuities and tips</a>:
    [QUOTE]Our photographer worked for himself, the cake baker owned her own shop and we picked up our own flowers so I didn't tip any of them.  Our venue included the gratuity in the cost so I think that was a total of 18%.  We didn't have a videographer or DJ so no tips for them.  I tipped the hair stylist about 15% on the cost of the updos. Other than that, we gave money to other people who were friends and doing music, officiating, etc. I can't remember any others.  I go this link from the sticky on the Etiquette board if you want to check that out. <a rel="nofollow" href="http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/wedding-budget/articles/wedding-vendor-tipping-cheat-sheet.aspx">http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/wedding-budget/articles/wedding-vendor-tipping-cheat-sheet.aspx</a>
    Posted by iamjoesgurl[/QUOTE]

    This is sort of what I was thinking. My parents have the venue agreement at home, but it's well over... well... its very expensive and 20% would basically make me pass out. This was very helpful (as was everyone else) TY!
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    edited December 2011
    I was wondering about tips too! 

    kelly- our photographer isn't charging us either because she is my good friend. We were planning on giving her a thank you too, but we were only going to give $100! Is that too little? I don't know how this stuff works. 
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    edited December 2011
    Aw, I don't know about what's appropriate for the TY, but our photog is also doing my bridal portrait, AND he's bringing his wife for the day-of, so it's a LOT of time for us, plus the second shot for bridal portrait sometime in May or early June, so we want to give him (and his wife) our thanks.  He does photo shoots for a lot of local news and does all of our official church photography so he offered for free.  We just can't see him giving us 8 or more hours total, plus his wife's probably 4 to 5 hours total without some kind of monetary thank you that reflects the same.  

    Your photog situation might be different than ours though... our guy and his wife are older / retired and we just love them to pieces.  :-) 
    July 16, Our Wedding Day, is also International Juggling Day!
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    SuMmErKuTiESuMmErKuTiE member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Our reception venue included the gratuties in our bill which was 18% for the servers and bartenders. It also included commission for our wedding coordinator, but we still tipped her an extra $50 at the reception because she was wonderful throughout the whole process and even sat with me before the ceremony when I felt really sick from the heat and lack of eating enough earlier in the day.

    We didn't tip our dj because he owned his own business.

    We didn't tip our florist because she owned her own business.

    We tipped our photographer and videographer each $50

    I tipped my hair and makeup artists that traveled to my bridal suite that day 20%.
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    mattycammattycam member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011

    We are not tipping anyone as the grats is either included in the costs or they are business owners as summer kutie mentioned. We will be giving thank you gifts to the DJ (who is my brother and doing it at no charge) and our wedding coordinators (who are my friends).

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