Methodist Question

Allanier

Hi Ladies!

   My father will be doing our ceremony. He is a Methodist minister. He will be walking me down the isle. Then today he said he will walk me then walk out the side of the church and put on a robe and come back then perform the ceremony. I said no to this and for him to do the ceremoy in his new suit. So after a debate and some grunts I'm still not sure what he is doing. 

  I have researched and I know that in the Methodist Church the robe means the education level and that you have been ordained by the Bishop. I also read that it's becomeing uncommon to wear them in churches now. Just wanted to see if anyone knows anything about wearing robes in weddings. 

  We aren't having a traditional Methodist wedding if that helps, but we are getting married on a College Campus that is affialited with the Methodist Church. I also don't attend a Methodist Church anymore, and my FI is Babtist. 

   

I can just see all my friends going "OMG her Dad just walked out!!!"

So does any one have any thoughts on this or have been married in the Methodisth church with some insight?

2012FutureMrsB

Hmmmm, I would say it really depends on your dad in this case since he is officiating. Is there a way he can slip on the robe off to the side (a side aisle or something)? Also, will there be a secondary minister to get things started while your dad is changing?

My dad is also a Methodist pastor, but with the Evangelical Methodist church, which does not do robes for anything (it's less liturgical than the traditional Methodist). Anyway, my dad walked me down the aisle in the church H and I attend. Our own pastor was already on stage and he got things started by welcoming the guests and asking who gives the bride away. Then my dad handed me over to H and during the prayer, he stepped into the place of officiant. 

If he needed to put on a robe, we could have accommodated that since we had a second pastor. I think you should respect your dad's decision on this one, but that's just my opinion.

joe&cassie

Our church does do the robes but not for the contemporary church service.  I think if there was a way to have a second person start the ceremony while he slipped on a robe.  Could FI maybe meet you half way and then dad slip around the back and grab his robe and meet you at the front?  Idk if that would be insulting I'm just throwing out ideas.  I think that you need to respect whatever decision your dad makes although I don't necessarily think he needs to leave in order to put the robe on.  Or could he walk you down in the robe?

DramaGeek

I agree that if wearing the robe is important to him, you need to have some way of starting things while he gets the robe on.  It would be really awkward for him to walk you down the aisle and then for everything to stop while he changed clothes.  A second celebrant  would be a great option.  That could also be time for a song, either a soloist or a hymn sung by the congregation.  If you went that route, your dad could maybe introduce it, slip out during the song, and be back before it ended to start the service.

RebeccaJac

My dad married us as well. We had our pastor begin the ceremony and they switched halfway through. It was really nice for my dad to be able to walk me down the aisle and still be just "father of the bride" for part of the wedding. We didn't have to worry about the robe thing, but it did make for a seamless transition! 

naomikb

I think you should respect your dad's wishes if he wants to wear a robe for the ceremony.  If it's what he's used to and comfortable in then you should go with that.

I don't see a big issue with him stepping out and putting on a robe, just make sure that when you walk up there is still 60 seconds left in the processional song.  You can stand there with your FI and your dad can step out and come back before the music is over and then he can start speaking.

If your guests know your family I wouldn't worry about them thinking that your dad is leaving the ceremony.  And if they do think that, they will know the truth when he comes back in the robe, no one will care.

RebeccaJac

How would you do the whole "Who gives this bride?" part? Not that it can't work, just something to play through before too long. 

I don't think it would be weird for him to step out if there's something else going on like the song or a scripture reading. As soon as he comes back with his robe on people will be like "ohhh that's why he left"

Ash61612

I agree with everything that has been said. I would respect your father's wishes and let him wear the robe if he wants to. I really like the idea of using a second pastor to help start the beginning of the ceremony, especially for the giving away of the bride, like Rebecca mentioned above.

sessionswedding

Can't he just wear the robe down the aisle?

midgetthemighty

I'm Methodist and our pastor wears the robe for our traditional service but doesn't for the contemporary service. For our wedding, we had a former pastor (he was there when we started the wedding planning process and we didn't want anyone else to marry us) perform the ceremony and he wore his robe. After the rings were exchanged, he placed his stole (?) over our hands to bless the rings, so maybe your dad was planning on this as well?

Either way, I think you should respect your dad's wishes. I like the suggestions of a second officiant or a special song to aid in the quick wardrobe change of your dad or him just wearing it down the aisle.