bridesmaid problem!

evesantoro

i dont consider myself a bridezilla, i have actually been pretty laid back and not damanding of much of anything. but i am having one problem. i paid for all of my bridesmaids dresses in advance for them because they all really loved the dress and it was a limited time design. i did only after talking with all of them at the dress shop and making sure they would all be able to pay me back. My fiance and i are paying for the entire wedding and i think it is traditional for the bridemaids to pay for their dresses. they all agreed that they would pay me back. They all have except for one. I gave her extra time to pay me back because she was unemployed. but she is currently employed and still lives at home with her mother, who i know does not make her pay rent. She has money to go to anime cons and the renissance festival but she wont return any of my messages about paying me back. she is just ignoring me and im not sure what to do next. do i just keep bugging her or do i just ask for the dress back and get another bridesmaid???

Queen Jane

You don't replace bridesmaids.

Unless you know a person's entire financial situation, you really can't say what they do and do not have money for. While it certainly sucks that she is avoiding you, she has every right to spend her money as she sees fit. Unfortunately for you, paying you back for the dress is not her top priority. But that's the risk you took when you bought all the dresses in the first place.

I wouldn't stress over it too much. Your wedding isn't until September, so my guess is she probably thinks she has until then to pay you. Did you set a date with them to pay you back by? If there were no terms set, there's not much to say about it at this point.

zitiqueen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_bridesmaid-problem?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:08cdeb13-d5b0-49d6-851a-ca1f842aefabPost:3c99a5d6-50e4-49c3-8165-338c439aaf46">bridesmaid problem!</a>:
[QUOTE]i dont consider myself a bridezilla, i have actually been pretty laid back and not damanding of much of anything. but i am having one problem. i paid for all of my bridesmaids dresses in advance for them because they all really loved the dress and it was a limited time design. i did only after talking with all of them at the dress shop and making sure they would all be able to pay me back. My fiance and i are paying for the entire wedding and i think it is traditional for the bridemaids to pay for their dresses. they all agreed that they would pay me back. They all have except for one. I gave her extra time to pay me back because she was unemployed. but she is currently employed and still lives at home with her mother, who i know does not make her pay rent. She has money to go to anime cons and the renissance festival but she wont return any of my messages about paying me back. she is just ignoring me and im not sure what to do next. do i just keep bugging her or do i just ask for the dress back and get another bridesmaid???
Posted by evesantoro[/QUOTE]

Did she say she'd be able to afford this dress when you took her aside and asked her what her budget was before you settled on this dress?

NOLABridesmaid

Just consider the money a lost.

At the end of the day she is a slacker, and it sounds like you have asked and re-asked. She ain't giving you the money. Smile at her on your wedding day, get married and move on.

litzsegner

Just be polite and patient.  I know that it is very difficult.  Remind her that you are planning the wedding and your budget is very tight too.  Sometimes when you are broke it helps to know that you are not the only one.  Mabey suggest that she makes small payments over a few months.  

monitoo

Evesantoro>>
Depending on when your wedding is, you should give her more time. However, since you have tried to get a hold of her repeatedly with no return, I say boot her out. I'd give her one last attempt, and notify her that if she doesn't get a hold of you to discuss the payment options, then she needs to give you back the dress so you may find her replacement. Waiting too long could cause more problems for you. If she is ignoring your attempts for whatever reason, that's not being a very good friend and how long will she continue to ignore you for? You can't wait on her to get her head out of her rear, you have a wedding to plan. Make the changes now before it's too late and you regret having her in it, like my situation with my MOH. Good Luck!