No Reception

tinae75

We are getting married in a few weeks; 2nd marriage for both of us. This is a "family blending" ceremony. We have many out of town family we are taking to a private dinner in between the ceremony and karaoke/dancing at a sports bar.

Here's my issue. We have been attending our church 6 months and we want to invite those who would like to join us for the ceremony to attend. It's going to run in the bulletin and on the announcements screen. We don't feel comfortable inviting people from church to the later festivities because it will be held at a bar and don't want to possibly offend anyone. Plus, we feel it would be inappropriate to list a bar in the church bulletin.

Does it sound tacky to say, "Ceremony only"? How do we let people know this is more of a family blending ceremony and a traditional reception will not be held?

Calumet

This is pretty common in most congregations. Nobody in a large congregation usually expects to be invited to the reception anyway, because this would add possibly over a hundred guests to the bride and groom's head count. In my church, people tend to put in the newsletter and bulletin "Bride's-name and Groom's-name would like to invite everyone in the congregation to share in their marriage ceremony to be held at St. Paul Lutheran Church on such and such a day at such and such a time." No mention of reception = no invitation to reception. 

(And for those who aren't used to this type of thing, it's not bad etiquette or gift grabby, in circles where this is common. People would be far more disappointed if they weren't invited to witness the ceremony of people they watched grow up. No one expects [or receives, usually] gifts from these people.)

6fsn

Can you ask someone in the parish?  Otherwise I'd say something along the lines of "Please join us as the X and Y families are joined through the marriage ceremony of A and B" 

GBCK

honestly, the level of 'tacky' for this depends on the church congregation.
In some, yeah, it really is the same as everyone else--cremony only = rude, gift grab.
In others, ceremony only = acceptable.

I'd ask some peeps at your church if this is 'done' there and how it's done.  (growing up?  and probably in current church?  one invite for ceremonly only is created and thumbatacked to the bulliten board.  wallah, done :-)

awesome-sauce

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:0d9b6895-2d4d-41e9-bb43-0a5944d4a448Post:eaae1f21-e549-4e13-9d1b-1e30aee59869">No Reception</a>:
[QUOTE]We are getting married in a few weeks; 2nd marriage for both of us. This is a "family blending" ceremony. We have many out of town family we are taking to a private dinner in between the ceremony and karaoke/dancing at a sports bar. Here's my issue. We have been attending our church 6 months and we want to invite those who would like to join us for the ceremony to attend. It's going to run in the bulletin and on the announcements screen. We don't feel comfortable inviting people from church to the later festivities because it will be held at a bar and don't want to possibly offend anyone. Plus, we feel it would be inappropriate to list a bar in the church bulletin. Does it sound tacky to say, "Ceremony only"? How do we let people know this is more of a family blending ceremony and a traditional reception will not be held?
Posted by tinae75[/QUOTE]

Are you Baptist?

tinae75

Thanks for the feedback. We've had people ask us where we are registered and what we want/need. We've told them we aren't registered and aren't expecting gifts. We just want to celebrate the day. 

tinae75

awesome - sauce: no we attend a Christian Church. They believe drinking is a personal decision based on your conviction from God. So we just want to be respectful of those who don't feel comfortable with alcoholic beverages.