Vent

zsazsa-stl

I am really sick and tired of co-workers using their children as excuses. 

"I can't finish this now, I have to go pick up my kid."

"My daughter is sick, so I don't know when I'll get back to you on that."

"Sorry! I can't attend any meetings before 9am or after 3 because my son's daycare is 45 minutes away from here." 

"Mylekyah has a dance recital on Friday so I'll be off the rest of the week." 

I know that kids trump jobs, but if you are leaving me high and dry don't blame it on your kid.  If you have obligations at home that don't allow you to work a minute of overtime (or in many circumstances even a full day - see the daycare in another city excuse lady) you had better be managing every damn minute that you are work to the fullest.  And I know you aren't doing that because you call me to ask if if the HR lady is mad at you and when I'm at your office I see you having hour long discussions about the new breading on the chicken strips in the cafeteria.  Unless I can tell my boss that my sh!t didn't get done because of YOUR kid, don't give me that crap.

MinM

Yes. But I will add, I'd rather someone stay home with their sick kid and make me pick up the slack than brining your sick kid into work.

PMeg819

Dude I hate this. If you have a kid, you have a Plan A, B, C, D, etc. When I'm home I work as much as I can between 8-4:30 in my office and I get things done so that there is no need for overtime.

MrsMyrtle

I absolutely agree. One coworker in particular is HORRIBLE about this. She's missed so many days recently because of various child-related "issues." The kicker: Her MOM babysits them. There's no reason why she needs to stay home when her 4yo has slammed his finger in the car door when her mom can stay home for her. (<-- true story)

I should start using my dogs as an excuse. "Oh, Toby has impacted anal glands. I need to take the day off to hang out with him. Nurse him back to health."

*Barbie*

this annoys the hell out of me too. i'm lucky that my company is really flexible with us on taking time /working from home/adjusting hours if there's a personal/family issue that we need to take care of.

i try hard not to abuse it, and get DK to switch off working from home with me if Wolverine has to stay home sick from daycare.

EdsdollfaceJen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_vent-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:0dcc6065-8e8d-47aa-99b4-78804fd0757ePost:4ef8af41-252d-4866-a586-1f6333f3541a">Re: Vent</a>:
[QUOTE]I had a co-worker who asked everyone above her in seniority to take a later schedule when we bid because she'd have to change daycare if we didn't   No one would (or in some cases, could) commit. She went and complained to our manager and magically had a schedule that worked for her.  Our manager said it was because she had a 'different job definition' and was going to be pulled from the bid. *coughbullshitcough*
Posted by mrs.conn23[/QUOTE]



I don't see an issue with them changing her schedule- changing a daycare that you like is a big farking deal. Who watches your child while you work is important.

Tara Grieco

When you have kids you will understand. Get over yourself and do your job

LittleMissCutiePie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_vent-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:0dcc6065-8e8d-47aa-99b4-78804fd0757ePost:eb7ddbba-f132-446c-9646-04767653c6a4">Re: Vent</a>:
[QUOTE]Yes. But I will add, I'd rather someone stay home with their sick kid and make me pick up the slack than brining your sick kid into work.
Posted by MinM[/QUOTE]

True story: I temped in an office once, and a kid had <strong>the mumps </strong>and the mom brought her to the office. Guess who had to temp for two times the work because one of the secretaries caught it? The office manager was apparently unaware that the coworker had brought in a mumps-infected kid, and the lady got <strong>demoted</strong>. She tried to sue the company for prejudice (apparently she construed it as sexism and bigotry because she was a single mother), but got kicked in the ass instead with a counter-suit from the secretary and the company for basically turning her kid into Typhoid Mary. Ugh.

*Barbie*

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_vent-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:0dcc6065-8e8d-47aa-99b4-78804fd0757ePost:88e4f84b-241e-42e9-b23d-3ff18b4c428c">Re: Vent</a>:
[QUOTE]When you have kids you will understand. Get over yourself and do your job
Posted by 583118625003503[/QUOTE]

and for folks who choose not to have kids or are unable to have kids? why should they have to pick up the slack for people who do?

kids =/= free pass for slacking off at work

ElleB87

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_vent-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:0dcc6065-8e8d-47aa-99b4-78804fd0757ePost:a6ae35b6-4708-45b1-b65f-39b000ce22b6">Re: Vent</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Vent : I don't see an issue with them changing her schedule- changing a daycare that you like is a big farking deal. Who watches your child while you work is important.
Posted by EdsdollfaceJen[/QUOTE]

Having a child is a choice and no employer is required to work around an employees personal choices.  If arranging daycare and having a full time job are too difficult to manage either don't have kids or don't work full time.  Like the PP's said, it's great when a job is flexible but it's annoying as hell when co-workers abuse those privileges.

6fsn

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_vent-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:0dcc6065-8e8d-47aa-99b4-78804fd0757ePost:88e4f84b-241e-42e9-b23d-3ff18b4c428c">Re: Vent</a>:
[QUOTE]When you have kids you will understand. Get over yourself and do your job
Posted by 583118625003503[/QUOTE]

Not to mention a lot of responders HAVE kids.  OP is doing her job.  She should not need to do someone else's because of a personal decision.

mrsconn23

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_vent-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:0dcc6065-8e8d-47aa-99b4-78804fd0757ePost:5c4e89f2-1224-4ac4-863b-a1039cee1938">Re: Vent</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Vent : Having a child is a choice and no employer is required to work around an employees personal choices.  If arranging daycare and having a full time job are too difficult to manage either don't have kids or don't work full time.  Like the PP's said, it's great when a job is flexible but it's annoying as hell when co-workers abuse those privileges.
Posted by ElleB87[/QUOTE]

Exactly.  My co-worker was not the only one being put out by the new schedule options.  A lot of people had to make adjustments. 

mrsconn23

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_vent-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:0dcc6065-8e8d-47aa-99b4-78804fd0757ePost:88e4f84b-241e-42e9-b23d-3ff18b4c428c">Re: Vent</a>:
[QUOTE]When you have kids you will understand. Get over yourself and do your job
Posted by 583118625003503[/QUOTE]

If you have difficulty doing your job because you have children, maybe you should consider a different job or staying at home.  I'm sure your co-workers think you're an asshole because they have to pick your slack.

GBCK

WHo decided to let the idiots who pull the 'you'll understand someday' card in yesterday?

Can they just be flogged for stupidity?  (extra flogging since they keep saying it to people who have kids so it makes them look stupider than normal)

Tara Grieco

in response....what i mean is "do YOUR job" 
At some point, you need to worry about YOU and only YOU and let your co-worker that wants to do nothing until 4pm and then blame her kids fail!  Let her get demoted, or in trouble, or whatever...
Worry about YOURSELF!!!!!!

thatgrrrrl

5811-whatever... if her job depends on someone else completing their part she CAN'T just worry about her job. She clearly stated that it was a group project.

mrsconn23

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_vent-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:0dcc6065-8e8d-47aa-99b4-78804fd0757ePost:48986fcf-fcb2-4dbc-9fc8-e23300c9f1c8">Re: Vent</a>:
[QUOTE]5811-whatever... if her job depends on someone else completing their part she CAN'T just worry about her job. She clearly stated that it was a group project.
Posted by thatgrrrrl[/QUOTE]

This.

And 'do YOUR job' =/= 'You' don't understand because you don't have kids'.

zsazsa-stl

Dear 8675309 or whatever...if I had a job that could be done all on my lonesome i wouldn't be complaining.  However, my job is very collaborative.  There are many, many pieces to this puzzle and my job is to pick them up and put them together.  I have to have input from other people all day every day. 

Maybe someday you'll grow up to be a responsible adult and then YOU will understand.

6fsn

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_vent-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:0dcc6065-8e8d-47aa-99b4-78804fd0757ePost:8f91941e-054b-42e5-8a14-56708bee00b0">Re: Vent</a>:
[QUOTE]Dear 8675309 or whatever...Maybe someday you'll grow up to be a responsible adult and then YOU will understand.
Posted by zsazsa-stl[/QUOTE]

::golf claps::

NOLABridesmaid

Dear 8675309 or whatever


Zsa, you just made me laugh. That was a good one.:)

dharmabunny

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_vent-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:0dcc6065-8e8d-47aa-99b4-78804fd0757ePost:4ff018e9-6cc1-4bb1-89d8-03e061e30421">Re: Vent</a>:
[QUOTE]in response....what i mean is "do YOUR job"  At some point, you need to worry about YOU and only YOU and let your co-worker that wants to do nothing until 4pm and then blame her kids fail!  Let her get demoted, or in trouble, or whatever... Worry about YOURSELF!!!!!!
Posted by 583118625003503[/QUOTE]

Well, when you get a big girl job aside from farting around with insignificant tasks that don't really matter for anything, you'll figure out that your coworkers may be responsible for a critical component that you need in order to do your job.

And throwing the slacking coworkers under the bus is a highly unprofessional thing to do, no matter how much this was the case.

NOLABridesmaid

This counts for grandparents too. The old lady loves to leave early for EVERY event her grandkids are in.

Now, I think it's great that you want to attend every play, awards day, etc. However, grandma needs her job, so unless you plan on retiring, you can't make every event, yo.

DG1

Eh. Changing daycares *can* be a big deal. But seriously, that's not the company's problem. It's the mom's.

And honestly, this is one of the major reasons why I've stayed an independent consultant instead of working full-time. Every time I start thinking about going back FT, I end up staying home with sick kids who aren't allowed at daycare, or bringing them to 3 doctor's appointments or whatever, and it becomes clear that that isn't really an option for me unless I find a lot more/better backup childcare options.

6fsn

I'm going to be singing that song all day now.

mrsconn23

I don't care what schedule people have on my team. 

What horks me off is that my co-worker didn't like that the odds weren't in her favor and wheedled a way out of bidding for her shift when the rest of us had to.  

Tara Grieco

Okay...wait one second.

I DO have a "big girl" job, I am NOT an asshole, nor do my colleagues think so.  I DO MY JOB and if someone is affecting the outcome of my product, you are damn right I am telling my boss about it.  That does not make me unprofessional in the least bit.  It doesn't make me a "tattle tale", and it doesn't make me a baby!!!  You need to cover your own ass!

I should also state that I agree with you that children should not be used as an excuse for slacking off.  You should be pissed about that!  You should confront that co-worker!  You shouldn't have to do double the work.  But if you never say anything, that co-worker will think she can get away with it and will continue to do it!  Which is why I said to just do YOUR job. 

Not for anything, some of you are just rude.  I didn't realize that this website became a place for brides/wives to be just plain mean to each other.  I thought it was a site where we could discuss things about weddings. 

EdsdollfaceJen

I didn't say it was the employers responsibility to change the schedule, but I don't see anything wrong with the fact that they did it for her. That's accommodating and a nice of them to do. It's the moms responsibility, but I don't blame her for trying to get around uprooting her kids from a daycare she trusts. There are some things childess people may conceptually "get" but not be able to sympathize with, obviously.