This is a classic case

TheDuckis

Of not buying the cow when the milk is free. getting the run around? From: bellabreezie Date: 8/15/2009 at 12:26 AM I have lived with my bf for 2 years, and consider my self to be very martha stewart-housewife-like. I work, plus never have him lift a finger with cleaning, do all cooking and give him near nightly hour long massages.( good ones too, on a massage table and everything) He says how great I am and he is so in love with me, and Im the one, BUT... when we have descusions about getting married, it turns b-a-d. he gets defensive and I get offended. What bothers me most is he has a completely diff excuse why he doesnt want to get married at any given moment. like he has a book in his pocket and picks at random. I can see if he has certain issues, or goals we need to work on before it happens, but I cant pin point it, his reasons are far fetched and neather here nor there. he is constantly telling me how much he loves me and never wants anyone else, so why the run around? I cant understand and am very hurt. any advice?:(

katorigasuki

i'm GAGGING at "Martha Stewart Masseuse" designation. she's setting herself up for MAJOR long term issues.

~~Busy.~~

She's worshping him. He gets all the benefits w/o any legal obligations. She's a fool who needs to move out.

**O-Face**

Um yeah...I can TASTE the resentment.

loveshine1

She needs to get out. NOW.

**O-Face**

But even if you told this chick to get out...do you really think she would??  She sounds a little stoopid.  JMO.

L_Woods

So all of you are against living together before marriage? I mean, I get this example is a bit extreme, but really? All of you are anti-cohabitation? I find that interesting.

**O-Face**

No, I believe it's anti-stupid.  She's laying herself on the line, worshipping him and not getting anything in return. 

baconsmom

You know, I am a housewife. That's my job. And I would never, NEVER let DH get away with not lifting a finger around the house. This woman's a moron.

katorigasuki

this has nothing to do with living together.  this has everything to do with her letting him walk all over her.

E Squared

It's not the cohabitation. They're obviously not on the same page regarding marriage, and she's obviously somehow trying to buy his commitment. Not gonna happen.

ReturnOfKuus

Ehh, I don't think this is cow and milk at all.  He wouldn't want to marry her if she lived separately and didn't serve him either.

VarunaTT

Y'know the thing that actually kills me here is if he DID marry her, she's still going to do the same thing.  This isn't an equal relationship.  I mean, WTH are HER hour long massages or orgasms or something to balance out the relationship?Hell, Martha Stewart ain't even Martha Stewart.

TheDuckis

But Kuus, he wouldn't still be with her if she wasn't living with him and waiting on him hand and foot. I'm not exactly anti-cohabitation. FI and I have never lived together, but I don't really judge people who do. If this couple was living together and had an actual partnership, it would be one thing. But it's obviously a one-sided relationship. He has no reason to disturb the status quo, and she's just kindof pathetic.

ReturnOfKuus

He might still be with her if she didn't do this stuff; we don't know that.  All we know at this point about him is that he doesn't want to marry her, and that he doesn't look a gift servant in the mouth.