Addressing invites

Tygirljojo

How do you do it so you make clear who all is invited?  For example, if someone has a guest?  The envelope would say Mr. John Doe - how would John know he can bring a guest?  Or if it's an uncle, aunt, and cousin, would you put all 3 names on the outside of the envelope?  Mr. James Smith, Mrs. Betty Smith, and Ms. Jennifer Smith? 

Dangit, part of me is thinking I should have done the RSVP cards with "Number of guests: __ of __" and I fill in the last part - or would that have been tacky?

KayleeC123

We put "Doe Family" on the ones that had more than just one person (like aunt uncle cousins) as for making it so someone knows they can bring an 'other' I'm not sure....we kinda accidentally left that out! lol

niq24601

We're just putting Mom & Dad on the outer envelope. If the person is single then it's "Mr. John Public and Guest". The RSVP just lists everyone's name.

Having read all the stories of guests crossing out the numbers when you put "X seats have been reserved" or whatever we're staying as far away from that as possible .

Tygirljojo

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_washington-seattle_addressing-invites-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:104Discussion:93f88f43-6057-4373-aa08-6eb689421a4dPost:71eab9ae-2d74-4d42-a1af-ef687c984a95">Re: Addressing invites</a>:
[QUOTE]Having read all the stories of guests crossing out the numbers when you put "X seats have been reserved" or whatever we're staying as far away from that as possible :).
Posted by niq24601[/QUOTE]

You see, that is total BS!  I'm sorry, but NO ONE should ever do that! 

So, we don't have an inner envelope, so outer would be to "Mr. James Smith and Guest"?

Archel

At work I just addressed envelopes for an event and was instructed to put "Mr. John Doe and Guest" if we didn't know the SO.

sarack

Well if you don't know his SO you should ask IMO. Also, I am doing the

2 seats have been reserved in your honor
__accept
   __no. attending
__regret

I'm also addressing the invites just to the people invited. We have pretty much called everyone and anyone who we haven't been able to get ahold of will get an invitation that says 1 seat has been reserved in your honor.

Tygirljojo

Not all the guests who are invited have SOs, so we're leaving the option for them to bring a date.  One is a friend who's currently studying in Egypt and will be doing an internship in DC this summer (he likely won't attend) but we want to give him the option.  Plus, I don't want to put down a name of someone who a friend is currently dating only to have it where between now and around when they get the invite, they and the other person break up.  I just think that would make it awkward?

tvgal1971

I didn't have an inner envelope so I put Ms. Jane Smith and Guest on the outer.  I have a bunch of friends that aren't dating anyone, but I wanted to extend them the courtesy of bringing a date.  Most of them probably won't bring a guest, however.

I had a few with significant others...that I addressed on separate lines...
Ms. Sally Jones
Mr. John Smith

For families, I did this...
Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
Erin and Jay Smith (kids under 18 listed in age order)

sarack

That is a good point. The people who don't have SOs I'm not letting have a date.. especially if they are family. Maybe its rude but I'm paying for the wedding. You're sweet!

When are you sending them out?

jennlin

for the singles we allowed to have a guest, the singles name is on the outside..regular envelope. on the RSVP card, we had names written on all the cards (since we did a plated meal), and we just left a blank one for plus ones.

writing names on your RSVP cards also allows for tracking...i.e. sometimes people forget to write their name after the M__________ line (i've always hated the random letter "M" infront of it anyway)....

KST_

Gah, I should be doing my addressing this week as well since envelopes should arrive tonight to Rollenbu's home. So I'm going to horn in on tygirl's post rather than make my own thread :P Yup, I'm a biatch, deal.

1 - I agree that since you aren't doing inner envelope and considering the style of your RSVP, address the envelope to "and Guest" when you don't know.

2 - What's the order it's supposed to be? Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Smith? Mr. John and Mrs. Jane Smith? Then what if you're inviting the kid(s)? How do you fit that all on an address line!??!!?

2b) I get the added weirdness of how to address to my sister? I can't do The Smith Family because she and her husband are in the middle of a divorce (but still at the same house in the time being since the kids are 3 & 4). Mrs. Jane Smith and Joey and Mikey Smith? GARRGGGHHHH

jennyann28

This:

http://www.calligraphybycarrie.com/images/noregrets.pdf

is like the be-all end-all, most comprehensive list of how to properly address envelopes I have ever seen.  It helped me a lot!

ETA:  I am also going to write in the names of the people invited on the RSVP cards.  So if it's John Doe & guest, that's where I'll write that.

angstocker22

We did rsvp postcards that solved that problem for us. On each postcard it says blank # of seats have been reserved for you. Then the guest fills in the # that they will be bringing.

sarack

Jennyann- are you handwriting the people's names??

melissa82

If you don't have an inner envelope, just address the outer envelope as you would the inner (with guest or guest's name).

ETA: If it's to an aunt, uncle and cousin, they would all be listed on the envelope. If the cousin is over 18, he or she would receive their own invite.

Together it would either be:
Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
Miss Susie Smith

melissa82

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_washington-seattle_addressing-invites-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:104Discussion:93f88f43-6057-4373-aa08-6eb689421a4dPost:71eab9ae-2d74-4d42-a1af-ef687c984a95">Re: Addressing invites</a>:
[QUOTE]Having read all the stories of guests crossing out the numbers when you put "X seats have been reserved" or whatever we're staying as far away from that as possible :).
Posted by niq24601[/QUOTE]

This and I've also heard of people saying, "My husband can't come so I'm bringing my friend." since you've got two seat reserved, they figure it doesn't matter and they can use the seats however they choose.

angstocker22

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_washington-seattle_addressing-invites-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:104Discussion:93f88f43-6057-4373-aa08-6eb689421a4dPost:dde6582e-b4ee-4c48-befc-b43e99e0105c">Re: Addressing invites</a>:
[QUOTE] 2b) I get the added weirdness of how to address to my sister? I can't do The Smith Family because she and her husband are in the middle of a divorce (but still at the same house in the time being since the kids are 3 & 4). Mrs. Jane Smith and Joey and Mikey Smith? GARRGGGHHHH
Posted by KST_[/QUOTE]

My mom & step dad are going through a divorce but are both still friends so my case might be a little different. But I address the std to Mr. and Mrs. John Smith. But I mailed it to my moms apt not their house. lol
I think I might need to re think it when it comes to the invite but I didn't really care what it said cause 1. it's my mom and I know she tossed the envelope & 2. it was just the std...

Tygirljojo

Okay, considering how long I've been on TK, you'd THINK I would know what ETA means.  Someone want to enlighten a girl?

Sara - Aiming for Cinco de Mayo but allowing buffer so 5/8 at the latest.   And I'm thinking about talking with FI about the +1 for some of ours.  Most of our guests are in serious relationships where we know the SO's name, but there are like 5 that aren't (recently divorced, etc) and I guess we'd feel bad if they couldn't bring a date?

Dangit, FMIL wants to invite her brother and SIL and FI's cousin and gave us just her brother's address.  I don't want to invite his cousin +1 - FI doesn't even remember her!  I doubt she'll come though.  So I can't just make 1 invite for Uncle, Aunt & Cuz?

angstocker22

I thought it mean estimated time of arrival...?

Tygirljojo

Typically, yes, but in context of the 2 posts above, I'm going to guess that isn't what it means?

angstocker22

Nope, probably not...

http://acronyms.thefreedictionary.com/ETA

Wow, who knew!

jennyann28

ETA means "edit to the above" on TK.  Sara, I am only handwriting the names on the RSVPs.  I'm running my envelopes through the printer.

melissa82

I thought it was "edited to add"

carrieoz_76

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_washington-seattle_addressing-invites-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:104Discussion:93f88f43-6057-4373-aa08-6eb689421a4dPost:18f0c2da-c630-4f02-a214-b632cd2050b3">Re: Addressing invites</a>:
[QUOTE]Well if you don't know his SO you should ask IMO.
Posted by sarack[/QUOTE]
Agreed.

I actually don't think it's good ettiquete to put "and guest" on an outer envelope. so I'd avoid it if at all possible (i.e. get names wherever possible).  You could also add a little note inside that lets them know that they're welcome to bring a guest.

Tygirljojo

Hmm....I like the note idea Carrie!  I'll look into that.

carrieoz_76

Glad to have maybe helped. 

I've got notes on the brain - I'm thinking about adding a note to mine (maybe on a 3x5 card?) for those guests who will also be invited to my dad's pool party - so they know that there's something local that they can attend instead, if they'd like.  If I do them, I'll probably just hand-write them

tvgal1971

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_washington-seattle_addressing-invites-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:104Discussion:93f88f43-6057-4373-aa08-6eb689421a4dPost:d93aaa6f-0378-4e66-a553-8e469b9fd75b">Re: Addressing invites</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Addressing invites : Agreed. I actually don't think it's good ettiquete to put "and guest" on an outer envelope. so I'd avoid it if at all possible (i.e. get names wherever possible).  You could also add a little note inside that lets them know that they're welcome to bring a guest.
Posted by carrieoz_76[/QUOTE]

I tried to be as etiquette conscious as possible, but at some point you have to use your best judgment and do what works best for you.  My friends and family love me enough not to judge me on how their invitation is addressed.  They are appreciative to be invited to share our special day and will focus on the invitation details...where/when/food selection...and won't scrutinize how it was addressed.

While I know that I didn't follow proper etiquette on everything, I came very close and haven't lost one night of sleep because I wrote "and guest" on the outer envelope.