I hope I did the right thing--WDYT?

Andy28

So the friend who is getting married and I told her it was wrong to kick out a bridesmaid. She decided to act juvenile and write on my FB wall  for all to see: "thanks for the advise, some info more than others." I was offended because advice is just advice: take it or leave it. I sent her PM telling her it was uncalled for her to write that on my wall for all to see and that if she disagreed then PM me or call me.    I did tell her that I understand she is stressed and all, and that next time send me message privately since I keep FB very general and not too personal.     Maybe I'm being overly nice. Because frankly I think she's a beebee who has no business getting married in the first place. Long story short: her fiancee tells H and I in front of her that  he is only marrying her to make her happy. She has been a PITA since before they got engaged. I he did it to basically shut her up.     I'm kind of at a loss here. AM I wrong here in telling her how I feel? Could there have been a better way to handle this?

TheDuckis

I usually just delete comments from people that annoy me. I figure they'll get the point when they see the comment disappeared. But I'm passive-aggressive that way. Your friend needs a ho sit down card, but she seems like the type to shoot the messenger. The best way to show these kinds of people they're wrong is to let them have their horrible marriage.

hmonkey

sure, you could have called or pm'd her, but writing on your fb wall for all to see isn't about you; it's about her being a sad, sad victim.she sounds like a \#/ and not a friend.  stop caring so much about her feelings.  enjoy the wedding and the groom rolling his eyes during the ceremony and the rest of his life.

Andy28

True about the horrible marriage. This past weekend was humiliating. She kept going on and on about how she needs me by her side at the wedding to keep her calm. I'm not even in the wedding party. I told her simply that I understand she's going to be nervous but to just have fun with your BP and I look forward to watching her get married.    Now I don't even want to go. I can't support someone who is getting married who is not emotionally or mentally capable of handling a marriage.      I feel horrible for saying that, but it is the truth.

hmonkey

why do you fel bad?  you're right.

Andy28

I've never said that or done that before to anyone who got married. I just kind of swallowed my opinion before. I think lurking on here has given me to the balls to say something.

hmonkey

pfft.  we've all been to weddings we didn't support or didn't want to attend.  sometimes it's fun to go just to see who can keep a straight face and who can't.

Andy28

It is going to be a trainwreck.    Get this: they are closing on a house in a few weeks. A month ago, while her FI was away at a Bach party she puts an offer on a house without letting him know or talk to  him. He comes back and is not happy. He doesn't like the house and thinks it is a bad idea. Evidently she changed his mind and they're closing on it.     She now complains about how much everything costs and she can't afford her 20k wedding and then gets mad at me when I tell her to plan the wedding she can afford and to be careful with her budget.    She spends money that she doesn't have and then says with a laugh, "K is going to be mad at me when he finds out. Oh well I'll just hide it or say it was an early wedding gift." *facepalm*

TheDuckis

Wow. He's a pvssy for not putting his foot down. I declare them MFEO.

mrsconn23

OH why did you not tell us more stories about this girl beforehand?  She sounds fun.  Now you must go to the wedding and report back to us.  I can't wait.  I give them 1 year before it implodes.  And I have a feeling that is being generous.  She and her FI sound MFEO.

NOLABridesmaid

That comment wouldn't have made me mad, laugh, but not mad. I'm sure people would just wonder what the other info was.

Future Mrs Butterworth

I would have been tempted to respond, "Yep, it's nice to have friends who tell you like it is and not just appease your (I mean that generally speaking, of course) ludicrous ideas, isn't it?"

Andy28

Oh She's a class act I have plenty of stories. The reason why I don't want to go. She expects me to do her make up and all 9 of her bridesmaids. What she won't comprehend is that I want to be paid for this. I plan on charging $30 per person. I think that is fair.     She also didn't want to come off as a bridezilla and yell at her BP. So she asked me to call them. I told her no, that if she's upset at them then you call them.    In all honesty, I don't think we will remain friends between now and Oct.  

hmonkey

I don't think we will remain friends between now and Oct. sorry, but you have to.  for the stories.