Wedding Woes

Planning woes

My wedding planning has not officially begun, but my groom has told me that he wants to help plan the wedding. So far he's vetoed a couple of my ideas, but when I asked him about venue (and booked said venue), he told me to do whatever I wanted. I will admit, when he first told me that he wanted a say in the planning, and epecially when he veto-ed some ideas, I was a bit vexxed. But I didn't really think that much of it. Especially when he said, "Whatever you want, babe," about the venue. My mother, however, thinks him wanting to be involved means that he's controlling, and will continue to be controlling through our marriage. None of my married or engaged friends husbands or fiancees wanted that much to do with planning. Could my mother be right?

Re: Planning woes

  • If he is controlling about your relationship and seems possessive of you, then you should think about this.

    Not every guy wants to just show up in the right tux and let his bride plan the whole shindig.  If the only issue you are having is that he wants to be involved in the planning then you are fine.

    What got my attention is that is doesn't seem like you welcome his input into a wedding that is just as much about him as it is you.  It's kind of wierd that you wonder if your mom is right instead of being sure about your man.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_planning-woes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:12e53c27-0b6c-44cf-b12f-52574a2c7897Post:42a21acc-b18b-4fef-94f1-fb8e0384168b">Planning woes</a>:
    [QUOTE]My wedding planning has not officially begun, but my groom has told me that he wants to help plan the wedding. So far he's vetoed a couple of my ideas, but when I asked him about venue (and booked said venue), he told me to do whatever I wanted. I will admit, when he first told me that he wanted a say in the planning, and epecially when he veto-ed some ideas, I was a bit vexxed. But I didn't really think that much of it. Especially when he said, "Whatever you want, babe," about the venue. My mother, however, thinks him wanting to be involved means that he's controlling, and will continue to be controlling through our marriage. None of my married or engaged friends husbands or fiancees wanted that much to do with planning. Could my mother be right?
    Posted by mickymay[/QUOTE]

    i think if you keep pulling your mommy into your relationship then you're not mature enough to be getting married.

    also, please explain how you "have not officially begun wedding planning" and yet  "booked a venue."  are you waiting for a checkered flag? starter pistol? glitter cannon?
  • edited April 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_planning-woes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:12e53c27-0b6c-44cf-b12f-52574a2c7897Post:42a21acc-b18b-4fef-94f1-fb8e0384168b">Planning woes</a>:
    [QUOTE]My wedding planning has not officially begun, but my groom has told me that he wants to help plan the wedding. So far he's vetoed a couple of my ideas, but when I asked him about venue (and booked said venue), he told me to do whatever I wanted. I will admit, when he first told me that he wanted a say in the planning, and epecially when he veto-ed some ideas, I was a bit vexxed. But I didn't really think that much of it. Especially when he said, "Whatever you want, babe," about the venue. <strong>My mother, however, thinks him wanting to be involved means that he's controlling, and will continue to be controlling through our marriage. </strong>None of my married or engaged friends husbands or fiancees wanted that much to do with planning. Could my mother be right?
    Posted by mickymay[/QUOTE]

    I do not agree with your mom. Maybe he just wants to be part of the planning because he is excited? It is his day too, and he deserves to have a say in the details like the location, music, etc., IMO. My FI wanted to help with the wedding plannind, and I wanted his imput because I want him to be able to choose some of the things. I think it's sweet that your FI wants to help. I don't really see how him wanting to help indicates that is controlling. He did say that you could choose whatever venue you want.<img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" />
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  • It's awesome that your FI wants to help plan! Enjoy that.

    Forget the wedding planning for a minute, do you think that he's controlling at all in day to day life?
  • I think the process of planning your wedding with your fiance is an important step in your relationship.  There are emotional and bugetary issues that you have to navigate TOGETHER.  You learn how to discuss, compromise and resolve issues without getting into fights and most  importantly at the end of your fabulous wedding day it is "we" did this instead on "I" did this.   I think it would be sad to plan my wedding by myself and truthfully I am thrilled that my fiance is excited about our wedding because I know he is excited about marrying me.
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