Wedding Woes

I am at my breaking point (vent/whine)

I have not for a moment cried about my current situation.  It's not top secret, but certainly frustrating.

Everyone has confidence in my abilities to do what we're setting out to do...of course for one HUGE snag.

There is literally no confidence in my "partner" in this venture.  That pretty much leaves me without a venture.

I would ask for vibes or prayers, but at this point I have no idea what the solution is.  NO idea. 

*hangs head* 
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Re: I am at my breaking point (vent/whine)

  • DG1DG1 member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    Yikes.

    Any way you can dump the partner? Buy him out? Yield some future reward to him?

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  • I'm sorry.
    Would you like us to find someone to beat some sense into him?
  • DG1, the spin on this....it's my OLDER brother.  *sigh*  I feel like I'm being  HUGE drama llama, but then another part of me knows I'm not.

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  • older =/= more competent. 
    have the two of you determined which role you'd fill in the new venture?
    who is lacking confidence in bro - is it you, the employees, your parents, etc?
  • I'm so sorry Oface.  Big hugs.  How about some vibes and prayers for guidance?
  • Barbie, it's pretty much every person I talk with.  Employees, parents, myself, spouse, family, no end in sight.  I've had a very candid and open conversation about it.  He listened, nodded and then a day later, did exactly what i talked about NOT doing.  FAIL.

    My mother who is his biggest champion even said she has her doubts enough that she's not sure about going through with it.  I'm panicking a bit.
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  • DG1DG1 member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper

    Who gives a sht re: older? 

    And who needs to have confidence in him? The bank? 

    Are you really ready to drag his dead weight? 

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  • What is your gut telling you to do?
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  • DG1DG1 member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper

    Are they willing to sell just to you?

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  • It's not even that simple DG1. 

    Current company is no longer doing business eff. 11/30/12.

    Business is formed, stock has not been sold, we're essentially 50/50 at this point. 

    Business activities or payroll would begin on our about 1/2/13 for new company.

    Any and all issues would need to be addressed, put to bed, financed taken care of...burned, buried or otherwise dissolved before 12/15/12 when purchase of assets, and financing are done.

    The bank is not financing one piece of this.  It's really a weird situation, where honestly, I am not comfortable, willing or otherwise able to drag dead weight.  And worse, the dead weight doesn't seem to realize after many conversations that he indeed IS dead weight.
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  • is it too late to back out? 

    I don't blame you for not wanting to drag the dead weight. i hope everything works out for you. 
  • DG1DG1 member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper

    It's one thing for someone to be useless. It's another if he gets in the way or actually makes things harder for you, makes messes you have to clean up, etc. 

    What are your options at this point? 

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  • I mean, essentially I can be more than 50% owner, but still there is the problem of delusion and not being accountable.  OR owning up to your shortcomings.  His issues extend outside of business, and I'd hoped that in the 2 months since our initial conversations and movement forward he'd become more assertive and proactive, but his attitude has changed little and his "dreamy" nature is just too much for business at this point.

    So really, I have.NO.IDEA.

    Backout=look for a job, which I am employable, I know this.
    other than that...I really have no idea.
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  • DG1DG1 member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_i-am-at-my-breaking-point-ventwhine?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:138d841e-7936-462f-8f07-99764a12505dPost:7cc6c782-af6d-4951-a4b6-3957d1e097db">Re: I am at my breaking point (vent/whine)</a>:
    [QUOTE] His issues extend outside of business, and I'd hoped that in the 2 months since our initial conversations and movement forward he'd become more assertive and proactive, but his attitude has changed little and his "dreamy" nature is just too much for business at this point. 
    Posted by **O-Face**[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>I'm sure it's hard to see from so close, but I have to equate this to brides expecting a ring to magically change their fiance into the husband they want. He's not going to change.</div><div>
    </div><div>So, your choices are to back out or drag his dead weight? Which begs the question - is he willing to be a silent partner? Are you willing to work your butt off while he does nothing and give him 50% of the profits, basically as payment for staying out of your way? </div><div>
    </div><div>Can you buy him out? Or maybe have an agreement that you'd buy him out after X tiime for $Y if the company nets at least $Z? </div><div>
    </div><div>Is this something you should discuss with a lawyer? 

    </div>

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  • Lowering his ownership below 50% would have to be something he agrees to, yes?

    Ugh.  I can see how this could turn nasty and cause big problems within your family.  I'm so sorry.

  • DG1DG1 member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper

    Is he employable?

    If not, make sure you aren't getting into this just because he doesn't have other options. It's not your fault if your brother can't get anyone else to hire him.

    (Not saying that's necessarily the case - just examine carefully why you're doing this, and make sure it's because YOU want to, not because of any sense of obligation to him or to your parents.)

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  • Ditto everything DG is saying. 
  • Ugh.  I know nothing about any of this, but I hope it gets better soon.

     I can offer some ::hugs:: and wine.
  • Like I said before we are 50/50 but not stock has been purchased, therefore it can be changed before stock purchase. 

    Yes, DG, I am definitely getting what you're saying.  It isn't my fault that he's not employable and the analogy is perfect.  He won't change, I know this.  I just want him to have a place, and do what he does well.  What is that?  And is it worth being any kind of busines partner?  I know partially, but not entirely.    Thank you everyone.
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