I got engaged early November 2009. I immediately picked out and asked my two bridesmaids to be in the wedding that is coming up in early October 2010. One of them lives about 40 miles from me where she goes to College. I had asked if she thought it would be a problem to come down for dress shopping and basic wedding stuff (shower, bachelorette party, rehearsal+rehearsal dinner, wedding) because I would understand if she couldn't make it down because of whatever reasons..money, busy with college, whatever. She said it wasn't a problem at all and she would come down soon to dress shop and discuss other things. A few months later when I was getting into planning colors and such I asked her if there was anywhere around there where she lives now that could give her her measurements and I'd help her look for a dress if she couldn't make it so I could make it easier on her. She said not to worry and she'd just come around here soon to shop with me and the other bridesmaid. Then she finds out around late January or so that she is going to be doing this internship about 700 miles away during fall of 2010 (which is when my wedding is of course) but that she'd be happy to fly down for anything I needed her for. I asked if she was sure and I didn't want to get in the way of her awesome time with the internship and she said it was no problem at all. A few weeks later she drove over to the city I live and texted me about midnight asking if I wanted to meet her at a local bar where she was with her other friends from around here. I couldn't because I was working and she left for back home in the wee hours of the morning..of course the time that she was in town was when no dress shops were open. She told me she'd be back again soon to dress shop. I have bought my dress, my MOH bought hers around February, I have the cake and venue and invites and photographer and some decorations picked..I mean my fiance and I are close to being finished with planning this but without her picking a dress I can't choose the floral arrangements or the groomsmens tuxes since they are supposed to match and all. My MOH asked nicely about two weeks ago if she knew when she could come down and she said she had just gotten done with finals and had her summer break and time to come down "soon" (same word she's used for months) and with 4 months and a few odd days now I think soon isn't coming soon enough! I haven't asked for her help on anything I just need her to pick out a dress. I gave her the choice of a good few colors and said ANY style works and said she could browse online and send me pictures of ones she liked if she couldn't make it here but even that hasn't happened. I would hate to see the wedding come between us as friends but I vowed to my fiance and I we'd plan this thing in a timely manner as best we could so that the weeks leading up wouldn't be SO stressful. So far we've done a great job of this. Also, I have another girl that would be willing to take her place and take over as soon as I give her the green light. Dress shop and start helping my MOH plan the shower and bachelorette party (which the other bridesmaid hasn't asked about yet either) and another thing, the bridesmaid was supposed to come to my and my fiances house warming party last weekend, said she was coming and never showed and no explanation. My MOH is known for being unreliable but she's the one thats doing good! I just need another bridesmaid that will take some initiative. Bridesmaid number one has had almost 7 months..with only 4 left I don't think I can handle anymore waiting..and if she isn't going to drive 40 miles for dress shopping or a party she said she'd come to (but will for drinking apparently) I doubt she will FLY 700 miles to attend the wedding and the events leading up to it. So hopefully you guys don't think I am being a bridezilla, but either way what should I say to her to let her know I want to replace her before its too late?