Cold Feet or Something More?

JMHanks7687

Cold Feet or something else? The last month or so has been rough.  I have not been getting along with my finacee at all.  All his faults seem to drive me insane and I can't stand being around him.  I feel like I just want to call everything off, move out and get on with my life, but in the back of my mind I keep wondering if this is just cold feet.  I don't want to throw everything away if it is just cold feet.  Has anyone else had similar feelings? Our wedding is October 22... a little less than five months away...

*Barbie*

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_cold-feet-something?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:15d8902c-de71-49e5-9ef8-1f02f5bf95d0Post:d5a08340-2d27-4570-b30f-25baacee063b">Cold Feet or Something More?</a>:
[QUOTE]Cold Feet or something else? The last month or so has been rough.  I have not been getting along with my finacee at all.  All his faults seem to drive me insane and <strong>I can't stand being around him.  I feel like I just want to call everything off, move out and get on with my life,</strong> but in the back of my mind I keep wondering if this is just cold feet.  I don't want to throw everything away if it is just cold feet.  Has anyone else had similar feelings? Our wedding is October 22... a little less than five months away...
Posted by JMHanks7687[/QUOTE]

I think you need to step back and evaluate if you actually want to marry this person. I think saying that you want to call it off, move out, and move on is probably a sign that you know there is something seriously wrong with the relationship. Address this now - before you're married and divorced within a year.   

ashamaly345

I would definitely take a day or two completely to yourself. Give yourself some space to breathe and think.

crys-crys

My fiancé and I were having this problem in March. It was 3 weeks straight of fighting everyday and discussing cancelling the wedding. I couldn't stand him at all for a while. I knew he was going away for a few days at the end of March and I could not wait. Eventually, before he went away, we discussed our issues and so much of why we were fighting was the stress of the planning and mapping out or lives together. We worked things out before his trip but those few days apart helped tremendously.

klm03013

Definitely take some time apart. I have never felt this way about FI, and would not be able to marry someone that I couldn't stand being around. If you get annoyed once in a while, that's normal. However, it sounds like this is more intense than that. Good luck.

tesskerr

Are there other things stressing you out? When I am very stressed, I get extremly angry and frustrated very easily (luckily it takes things like my business being closed due to a major earthquake to make me feel like this). When I feel like this, the slightest little thing my FI or our flatmate does makes me so angry, like if they don't put their shoes away, I start talking to myself (cats look at me like im crazy!) I say things like "Oh great, another pair of shoes for me to put away!"

Ok, so that makes me sound like I'm crazy, but if you are really stressed out, say by the wedding planning, it could be making you feel like that. Maybe some time away, and a break from wedding stuff, or what ever is stressing you, may help.

VarunaTT

Are these faults like, "Why can't you hang up your towels!?"  Or are they faults like, "I don't like it when you look at porn/go to strip clubs/go to church?"

I love my DH dearly and can't stand the fact that he leaves the dishtowels on the counter every single time.  It's now a running joke b/c I just point at them and he sighs and hangs them up and we giggle...for whatever weird reason that is.

But if this is a fault that you're morally opposed to, you need to reconsider.  And the fact that you said, "Get of with MY life" as opposed to OUR lives, makes me think this isn't just about the wedding.  I'd take a few days and outline how you want your life to be and if he's the one you want to be in it.

cmp1986

I agree, you should def. take sometime to yourself and think about this. Were you guys ever like this before you started planning? Maybe once you think about it for awhile you should then sit him down and ask him how he's been feeling about you guys fighting so much lately. We really can't tell you if it cold feet or not because no one knows you guys like you do. HTH!!!!