I trudge downstairs and open the door. She's obviously come from work, but she has her laptop, purse and OVERNIGHT BAG on her shoulder. She barrelled her way in talking about, "Oh, so sorry you had to come let me in, DH was supposed to leave the key in the flowerpot for me! It's a beautiful day outside, come for a walk with me!" She huffed her way upstairs to the guest room to change her clothes and settle the fvkc in. I was still standing at the door, frozen in place with shock. Then the paralysis broke and I shuffled my ass up to our room as fast as I could and started dialing all of DH's' phone numbers repeatedly. Of course, he answered none of them. And I felt the rage building in me. What is this btch doing here? WTF is this "key in the pot" sht?? I flopped on the bed just as she burst in (mind you, the door was closed), gathering "laundry" (clothes DH hadn't put away yet, but were clean) and just being a busy, annoying mess. I said I was trying to take a nap, please just leave everything alone, including me.
Do you know this heifer told me I had to just step back and let her help how she sees best? Basically, STFU and let me run this house as I've been dying to do since your Jezebel ass took my golden child away from me. Now, where is the detergent, and why do I have the curtains drawn and I shouldn't use this kind of heating pad, I should use this kind that she has, she'll talk to DH about it when he gets home. And out she went, leaving me opening and closing my mouth like a landbound fish.
At that moment, DH called. "OMG ARE YOU OK IS IT AN EMERGENCY?!?!" I hissed through clenched teeth, "you bet your ass it's an emergency, YOUR MOTHER IS HERE and she seems to think you were going to leave her the key to the house!"
[silence]
"what."
"Yes, your mom is here and she's already on my last good gaadamn nerve. Did you tell her to come over here??"
[more silence]
"Where are you? 'Cause you can't be at home. She's not supposed to be there."
"Well, damn it, she is. But you didn't tell her to come, did you?"
"Hell no! Let me call her cell phone."
So he called her. Of course, she did not answer. He called me back, "I'm so sorry, I don't know why she's there. I can't leave work right now... I don't know what to do!"
I told him it was fine, I'd handle it. As long as he didn't tell her to come, I had no problem with him. I got off the phone and started thinking of how to get out of this mess.
..